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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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May 11th 2013 new

Albert, if it makes you feel any better, I am in the very same boat. I have talked with only one CM member on the phone. ((Sadly, it took me all of two minutes to discern that I wanted to have nothing to do with him. He asked me two very rude questions. I should have dismissed myself after the very first one.)) From what I think I understand from the CM folks, we need to keep on keeping-on. Sometimes there will not be a good fit even though someone sounds very attractive. For example, last year I messaged with a man here inside of Texas who is eager to retire and move to Montana. I don't think so, on my part. Who cares what someone "looks like." It is what is on the inside that counts. And for what it is worth, I think you look grrrrreat!

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Regarding premarital sex, that also means I can go back and have sex with my ex husband as much as I wan...
(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Regarding premarital sex, that also means I can go back and have sex with my ex husband as much as I want because we are not annulled yet. Not legally married anymore, but without an annulment (I'm still really married). So in that case and with that logic, sex without being legally married is ok.
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An annulment does not change the status of your marriage: it is a process that determines whether a valid marriage exited from the inception and issues a formal declaration of the findings.

One of the principles of moral theology is that one should act only with a certain conscience: if there is any doubt that an act is immoral, one should not act because of the chance it will offend God. Acting without at least a reasonable degree of moral certainty is itself sinful because it exposes us unnecessarily to the proximate danger of formally offending God. [Dominic M. Prummer, O.P., Handbook of Moral Theology at 146.]

When one petitions for a decree of nullity (the formal name for the process) it indicates there is legitimate doubt as to the validity of the marriage. To engage in the conjugal act while this doubt exist is clearly in violation of the principle stated above.

Anticipating the next question: if the petition for a decree of nullity is declined, it is permissible to engage in conjugal relations only after the husband and wife have resumed living together as such and have mutually accepted to resume the obligations toward each other.

 

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Hi Lina, it's not about why. It's strictly the argument of annulment. If still married..then sex is allo...
(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Hi Lina, it's not about why. It's strictly the argument of annulment. If still married..then sex is allowed. Period. Married can have sex. Not married..no sex. My ex and I have a great relationship. If I was to have sex...it would only be because...I can according to the no annulment clause. Goofy.
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The fallacy in your argument is the assumption that an annulment changes marital status. As I noted in my last response in this topic, the annulment is a determination and declaration of the status of the marriage as of its inception, not a nullification of a valid marriage.

In other words, the annulment doesn't change whether you are validly married: it only provides the Church's judgement as to whether you were.

 

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Wendy-387654 said: Considering having sex with your ex since you aren't annulled isn't really on topic for this thr...
(Quote) Wendy-387654 said:

Considering having sex with your ex since you aren't annulled isn't really on topic for this thread. But, I think this would be a GREAT topic for you to open a thread about because I have to believe there are some on here who are deeply knowledgeable about whether being divorced, yet not annulled, means it's o.k. to have sexual relations with your ex or not. And if not, then why not.

--hide--

No need to open another topic; this has already been answered:

www.catholicmatch.com

 

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: An annulment does not change the status of your marriage: it is process that determines w...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

An annulment does not change the status of your marriage: it is process that determines whether a valid marriage exited from the inception and issues a formal declaration of the findings.

One of the principles of moral theology is that one should act only with a certain conscience: if there is any doubt that an act is immoral, one should not act because of the chance it will offend God. Acting without at least a reasonable degree of moral certainty is itself sinful because it exposes us unnecessarily to the proximate danger of formally offending God. [Dominic M. Prummer, O.P., Handbook of Moral Theology at 14.]

When one petitions for a decree of nullity (the formal name for the process) it indicates there is legitimate doubt as to the validity of the marriage. To engage in the conjugal act while this doubt exist is clearly in violation of the principle stated above.

Anticipating the next question: if the petition for a decree of nullity is declined, it is permissible to engage in conjugal relations only after the husband and wife have resumed living together as such and have mutually accepted to resume the obligations toward each other.

--hide--


Well written Jerry. Satan does try to deceive God's people. You have made it very expilicit.

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Pauline-931463 said: Would that be post marital sex since he is your ex? But then you're still real...
(Quote) Pauline-931463 said:


Would that be post marital sex since he is your ex? But then you're still really married

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I am sorry if this post of mine has misled anyone. As Jerry explicitly said, If a person is applying for annulment, it means a valid marriage never existed, so sex is immoral. However while married, the couple may not have realised this and so while they were married, sex within that marriage would have been OK (i think as the couple at that stage thought they were married.)

May 11th 2013 new
(Quote) Pedyne-248823 said: You responded directly to me (almost a personal attack?) so I feel I must defend myself. ...
(Quote) Pedyne-248823 said:


You responded directly to me (almost a personal attack?) so I feel I must defend myself. You asked a question and I gave you an honest answer. Their are others who may be to shy to say..premarital sex is what is called fornication and it is NOT ok with God it is not a priest teaching...But I'm really sorry for you, you seem to associate living with the physical/sex. Regarding Adam and Eve, I suggest you re-read Genesis and while you have your bible open take a look at 1 cor 6:9-11 and 18-20. Pray on your position which is in complete opposite of your churches teaching. Maybe with discernment and prayer the Holy Spirit will enlighten you.

--hide--
Wow! I guess an apology is in order if you felt attacked or insulted by my most personal and honest answer and I will most certainly apologize to you but I must say I am at a loss. My answer was about me and not you. But I would like to respond to the part about your Bible passages being about God. If God has spoken to man it has been through Jesus and through Jesus alone. That is my churches teachings and what was written in books by man on behalf of God is subject to interpretation which is also my churches teachings. Perhaps you should consult whoever gave you that Bible (which version?) about that. God speaks to us through our faith and our hearts, our faith is what each one of us knows to be true in our hearts. You would do well to read St Augustine and St Thomas Aquinas and a large number of other catholic scholars. I am not saying that they agree with my position on 45 yo virgins (as I would be) but they will help you to explore your faith in a way perhaps you have not before. I know that my faith has been thoroughly tested and vetted and I know God has never left a step by step guide which clearly states anything about life whatsoever. The only answers you will ever receive from God will be in your heart and apply only to you.
May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Albert-964084 said: Wow! I guess an apology is in order if you felt attacked or insulted by my most personal and honest ans...
(Quote) Albert-964084 said: Wow! I guess an apology is in order if you felt attacked or insulted by my most personal and honest answer and I will most certainly apologize to you but I must say I am at a loss. My answer was about me and not you. But I would like to respond to the part about your Bible passages being about God. If God has spoken to man it has been through Jesus and through Jesus alone. That is my churches teachings and what was written in books by man on behalf of God is subject to interpretation which is also my churches teachings. Perhaps you should consult whoever gave you that Bible (which version?) about that. God speaks to us through our faith and our hearts, our faith is what each one of us knows to be true in our hearts. You would do well to read St Augustine and St Thomas Aquinas and a large number of other catholic scholars. I am not saying that they agree with my position on 45 yo virgins (as I would be) but they will help you to explore your faith in a way perhaps you have not before. I know that my faith has been thoroughly tested and vetted and I know God has never left a step by step guide which clearly states anything about life whatsoever. The only answers you will ever receive from God will be in your heart and apply only to you.
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I am not sure which Catholic scholars you are reading to get this opinion but it certainly can't the ones you named. I think that you have somehow been misled. I am not sure when or how it happened but that it has happened is obvious. In fact these scholars support NOTHING of what you have said in previous posts; not just the 45 year old virgin bit. You would do well not to put your warped concepts on the doctors of the Church who are probably rolling in their graves at the thought of have such beliefs being tied to their names. I would suggest that a reread of whatever books you think gave you these concepts again. Completely baffled that you would quote doctors of the Church to support beliefs that are so anti-Church. boggled

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Albert-964084 said:
(Quote) Albert-964084 said:
--hide--

> If God has spoken to man it has been through Jesus and through Jesus alone. That is my churches teachings

Where exactly does the Church teach this? Or are you speaking of a Church other than the Catholic Church?

> God speaks to us through our faith and our hearts, our faith is what each one of us knows to be true in our hearts.

Unfortunately, the effects of original sin as well as personal sin often cloud our "knowledge", which is why God provided the Church as the final authority on earth for matter of faith and morals: to provide us with an absolute frame of reference. God will not -- can not -- inspire an individual that is contrary to His universal law.

> You would do well to read St Augustine and St Thomas Aquinas and a large number of other catholic scholars. I am not saying that they agree with my position on 45 yo virgins (as I would be) but they will help you to explore your faith in a way perhaps you have not before.

While this is true, how do they support the assertions you have made in this topic?

> The only answers you will ever receive from God will be in your heart and apply only to you.

The problem is that we are easily deceived about what is truly in our hearts.

May 11th 2013 new
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: (Quote) Laura-857740 said: Regarding premarital sex, that also means I can go back and have sex ...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Quote:
Laura-857740 said: Regarding premarital sex, that also means I can go back and have sex with my ex husband as much as I want because we are not annulled yet. Not legally married anymore, but without an annulment (I'm still really married). So in that case and with that logic, sex without being legally married is ok.

An annulment does not change the status of your marriage: it is process that determines whether a valid marriage exited from the inception and issues a formal declaration of the findings.

One of the principles of moral theology is that one should act only with a certain conscience: if there is any doubt that an act is immoral, one should not act because of the chance it will offend God. Acting without at least a reasonable degree of moral certainty is itself sinful because it exposes us unnecessarily to the proximate danger of formally offending God. [Dominic M. Prummer, O.P., Handbook of Moral Theology at 14.]

When one petitions for a decree of nullity (the formal name for the process) it indicates there is legitimate doubt as to the validity of the marriage. To engage in the conjugal act while this doubt exist is clearly in violation of the principle stated above.

Anticipating the next question: if the petition for a decree of nullity is declined, it is permissible to engage in conjugal relations only after the husband and wife have resumed living together as such and have mutually accepted to resume the obligations toward each other.

--hide--
Hi Jerry. Thanks for your insight. Precisely where in the bible does it say we must resume living together
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