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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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May 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: I don't look for that, but my lifestyle resonates fitness. It is in all of the things I like ...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said:

I don't look for that, but my lifestyle resonates fitness. It is in all of the things I like to do. I think I need an active man who wants to be outside experiencing and doing. I don't have that as a criteria, but I know it must be to some extent because I gravitate towards men whose lifestyles echo mine.

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I agree with and understand this.

May 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Maria-952927 said: My aunt was the one who pointed out to me that some men mention in their Ideal Match paragraph th...
(Quote) Maria-952927 said:

My aunt was the one who pointed out to me that some men mention in their Ideal Match paragraph that they'd like their partner to be "physically fit". I've never seen that listed until tonight. I had a guy view me, so in all curiosity, I viewed back and started reading through his profile...until I saw "I'd like my partner to be physically fit." Hey. To each his own, as the saying goes, but why are you going to be so picky? When I read that, I saw this guy in a different light...and it's wasn't a flattering one. You could have a great connection with anyone on this site, and if you say no because they're not physically fit enough for you, then you're throwing away potential friendships, relationships, or your possible spouse. If the connection is there, the appearance shouldn't matter. My opinion. I'm curious as to how others are going to reply.

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"If the connection is there, the appearance shouldn't matter."

Where do you draw the line for when the appearance does become important? Is it ok if he showers once a week or is once a month still ok? How often does he have to cut the toe nails? Is the personal hygiene of any importance if "the connection is there"? Is it being picky if the hygiene is important? If not, why?

If it isn't ok to let the personal hygiene go then why is it ok to let the physical fitness go?

May 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-726465 said: Hi Everyone,You know what, I have never seen that, either. I consider myself phys...
(Quote) Elizabeth-726465 said:

Hi Everyone,


You know what, I have never seen that, either. I consider myself physically fit and slim (or so I am told). But you know what, that has nothing to do

with the men I date. I have dated overweight men, bald men, men shorter than me, men with bad skin (scars from childhood acne) and you know

what, I can say in ALL honsety that it doesn't matter to me AT ALL if he is physically fit. I have known lots of people (including men) who eat pretty


good and engage in a sport maybe twice a week and they just can't get down to the size the'd like to be. You know what does matter to me, since we

are talking about physicalities--grooming and hygeine. I would much rather date an overweight man, than a man with bad teeth, bad breath, bitten

nails, dirty hair and does not smell good. I will admit those things are paramount to me. So much more than how much he weighs or if he is in shape

or not. Of course, his spiritual life is everything to me...but since we are talking about the physical that is all I mentioned in the above post.

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I am in with Elizabeth on this one. Face to face men have endearing qualities you cannot pick-up from a photo. Being a great conversationalist, great manners, a beautiful soul and so much more. I as well have dated men that might not be a "10" by many standards that are unfair measures. But in my eyes they were an "11" because of who they were as an overall person. Love is blind!

May 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: I agree with and understand this.
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



I agree with and understand this.

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I agree with Marian and Linda and understand this.

May 8th 2013 new

in my profile I am looking for someone that is active ie not a couch pototo not sure that means physically fit but someone that likes to do things and does them. would be nice if they were road cyclists

May 8th 2013 new
(Quote) Maria-952927 said: My aunt was the one who pointed out to me that some men mention in their Ideal Match paragraph that they'd ...
(Quote) Maria-952927 said:

My aunt was the one who pointed out to me that some men mention in their Ideal Match paragraph that they'd like their partner to be "physically fit". I've never seen that listed until tonight. I had a guy view me, so in all curiosity, I viewed back and started reading through his profile...until I saw "I'd like my partner to be physically fit." Hey. To each his own, as the saying goes, but why are you going to be so picky? When I read that, I saw this guy in a different light...and it's wasn't a flattering one. You could have a great connection with anyone on this site, and if you say no because they're not physically fit enough for you, then you're throwing away potential friendships, relationships, or your possible spouse. If the connection is there, the appearance shouldn't matter. My opinion. I'm curious as to how others are going to reply.

--hide--


I try....I ran two 1/2 marathons this spring
May 8th 2013 new

Not the same thing.
Physical fitness WILL go...sooner or later. Maybe he's a couch potato at 55, maybe not until 90. But it will go.
Hygiene need never go until he's in assisted living.

May 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Not the same thing.Physical fitness WILL go...sooner or later. Maybe he's a couch potato ...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Not the same thing.
Physical fitness WILL go...sooner or later. Maybe he's a couch potato at 55, maybe not until 90. But it will go.
Hygiene need never go until he's in assisted living.

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I see nothing wrong in a man saying that if it is important to him and IF he is living out that value or at least trying to. If he is not then it is ridiculous that he would hold a woman to a higher standard than he has for himself and would signal to me that he has a low self-esteem, is unrealistic or just plain crazy. None of these are attractive qualities. I have seen a few of these men on here and it almost as amusing as it is sad. Thankfully they are the minority.

Personally while I am not perfect at it, ( far from it) I think that it is truly important to take good care of yourself physical fitness-wise and hygiene-wise. Fr. Marty always says in his counsel to me that we should see care of self as a form of thankgiving to God for the gift of our bodies and also as a recognition that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. It is easy to not take care of yourself so it is a form of self-denial and mortification to do the opposite and care for yourself. Therefore we should see care for ourselves as a form of prayer and a way of pleasing God by going against our natural will and bending it towards God.

He also said that as children of God we have a royal legacy since we are children of a king. That we should therefore also dress and act in a way befitting that position. That in the same way that when we see someone dressed nicely we automatically think that this person is important, that we act and dress as someone important because we are. No human rank or success can ever outshine the legacy of being made in the image and likeness of God.

We should do all this, not in a manner to call attention to ourselves or to be boastful but as a gift of ourselves to God and in recognition of the fact that he has created us second only to Him and higher than even the angels. We should therefore thank Him and act in a way that shows Him that we recognize the gift that He has given us in creating us in His likeness.

Living out that value is therefore important to me and standard that I want to live up too. I therefore want a man who thinks like that because I need support in living out that value and it is easier to do it if your life partner is committed to it as well. I know that I am not disciplined enough to stick to it if I am married to a man lax about this value. I also live a very active lifestyle with my kids and we need someone who can keep up.

I know that it is a sensitive topic for many people as we are always most sensitive about our weaknesses and areas that we know that we need to work on. I think that while we don't have ot fit the mold of society's standard of beauty, that we should all strive to move towards health and healthy habits. It is also important to pass those values on to our kids.

So basically if a man is requesting it for the right reasons there is not an issue but if it is just because he has some unrealistic pipe-dream of being with a super model then it may be a red flag. That being said I know one such man who put it in his profile as a way of weeding out and he is no where close to being as rigid or as superficial as his profile sounds. He just figured that it would cut out the people who were living unhealthy lifestyles. It is the same way that some women have said that they put in their profile that they are willful and that if a man can't accept that he need not contact them. We all have some way of narrowing down our pool.

May 8th 2013 new

Bravo ! well done Jim ! you should be very proud ! You get a Gold Star! clap biggrin

May 8th 2013 new

If a man requests someone "physically fit" is he looking for a long-long partner or arm candy? Or maybe he wants someone to help him with physically demanding work - slop the pigs and split firewood. A man who would interest me would place heart and mind and soul above physical appearance. By like token, I judge men by their heart and mind and soul and not physical characterictics.

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