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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Interesting to read the replies.The ladies are all defensive about their shapes and the gents...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Interesting to read the replies.
The ladies are all defensive about their shapes and the gents are all defensive about being "visual creatures".
Any time I see "physically fit" in a guy's profile, I assume he's a jogger, biker, whatever and wants someone who can keep up with him. That's all.

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Marge, you and I agree more often than we disagree, but I'm not with you on this one, especially in profiles of men my age. When I read that "pysically fit" thing my immediate thought is "oh boy one of those shallow guys". Then I re read the profile and if he is someone whom from the ages of 66 to 81 is running the Iron Man, jumping from planes, biking across country on a regular basis, kayaking every weekend or running in marathans I give him a pass, because, lets face it, I dont want to do any of those things anyhow, and he probably does need an athlete. But usually I read that to mean "I want a skinny girl that looks like a Victoria's Secret model, so round women do not bother me" and I respect his wishes and pass him by.

In the beginning of a relationship its an unfortunate fact that many men are most concerned with looks and envision their mate to be svelte and gorgeous. Women also choose on looks, but they tend to check out his face and then if appealing, go on to check what he has to say, how he earns a living, what he likes to do and then on this site, try to get a clue for his values and his seriousness about finding a quality mate.
Maybe the men on here who have defended their first and most important criteria being that of an ideally built woman can tell me how they ever get to meeting real women or do you all find Victoria's Secret models?

What I have found is that there are many profiles for men who have sincerely placed other criteria ahead of that one and thankfully there are lots of men on here with depth.

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Leyden-904885 said: You aren't wrong when you say that it can change how you view them. However I imagine we all...
(Quote) Leyden-904885 said:

You aren't wrong when you say that it can change how you view them. However I imagine we all limit our experiences on CM according to our ideal. Then I suspect, after some frustration, broaden our interests. I don't know if there is a difference between saying "i'd like a partner who is physically fit" and saying "i'd like someone creative" or searching only caucasian, or latino men/women etc. It seems that in all cases we are trying to communicate, even if only by filtering our searches, our interests for someone to match.

In Christ,

Leyden

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Well said! Something I do worry about is physical fitness because I'm a nurse and I see what happens to people who don't take care of themselves...and folks who are over weight and sedentary in their twenties tend to continue the trend throughout their lives until they die of a heart attack at age 61 and weigh 419 pounds. Sorry, but that's just not being a good steward.

Physical fitness is important insofar as one takes care of the body God gave them and keeps it in shape. Quite frankly, if I marry, my man better be sticking around for several years and not keel over and die in his forties! Similarly, ladies, if we do not strive to maintain muscle mass and a healthy weight, after we have had a few children we would start having unsightly and uncomfortable health problems and perhaps high risk pregnancies and worse.

It kinda speaks to spiritual maturity as well: if someone does not mortify their body, do they mortify their soul? We are body/soul composites...can't ignore one for the sake of the other or you risk disprespecting the very essence of who we are.

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Maria-952927 said: My aunt was the one who pointed out to me that some men mention in their Ideal Match paragraph th...
(Quote) Maria-952927 said:

My aunt was the one who pointed out to me that some men mention in their Ideal Match paragraph that they'd like their partner to be "physically fit". I've never seen that listed until tonight. I had a guy view me, so in all curiosity, I viewed back and started reading through his profile...until I saw "I'd like my partner to be physically fit." Hey. To each his own, as the saying goes, but why are you going to be so picky? When I read that, I saw this guy in a different light...and it's wasn't a flattering one. You could have a great connection with anyone on this site, and if you say no because they're not physically fit enough for you, then you're throwing away potential friendships, relationships, or your possible spouse. If the connection is there, the appearance shouldn't matter. My opinion. I'm curious as to how others are going to reply.

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I know what you mean...I think there are some guys on here looking for a Catholic Trophy Wife. Tahdah!!!! Blinded by love


Also, you will never find anyone who agrees with you 100% on everything...so you both have to learn to give a little. Spritual certainly matters more, but I couldn't marry someone with the physique of Lou Costello. Liam Neesan on the other hand... ;-)

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Joan-461057 said: Marge, you and I agree more often than we disagree, but I'm not with you on this one, espe...
(Quote) Joan-461057 said:


Marge, you and I agree more often than we disagree, but I'm not with you on this one, especially in profiles of men my age. When I read that "pysically fit" thing my immediate thought is "oh boy one of those shallow guys". Then I re read the profile and if he is someone whom from the ages of 66 to 81 is running the Iron Man, jumping from planes, biking across country on a regular basis, kayaking every weekend or running in marathans I give him a pass, because, lets face it, I dont want to do any of those things anyhow, and he probably does need an athlete. But usually I read that to mean "I want a skinny girl that looks like a Victoria's Secret model, so round women do not bother me" and I respect his wishes and pass him by.

In the beginning of a relationship its an unfortunate fact that many men are most concerned with looks and envision their mate to be svelte and gorgeous. Women also choose on looks, but they tend to check out his face and then if appealing, go on to check what he has to say, how he earns a living, what he likes to do and then on this site, try to get a clue for his values and his seriousness about finding a quality mate.
Maybe the men on here who have defended their first and most important criteria being that of an ideally built woman can tell me how they ever get to meeting real women or do you all find Victoria's Secret models?

What I have found is that there are many profiles for men who have sincerely placed other criteria ahead of that one and thankfully there are lots of men on here with depth.

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May I ask, when the Victoria's Secret models became a standard for what a physically fit body female looks like? My personal opinion is that they look like very hungry twenty-something girls with breast implants, and that has nothing to do with physical fitness.

May 9th 2013 new
(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Not the same thing.Physical fitness WILL go...sooner or later. Maybe he's a couch potato at 55, maybe ...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Not the same thing.
Physical fitness WILL go...sooner or later. Maybe he's a couch potato at 55, maybe not until 90. But it will go.
Hygiene need never go until he's in assisted living.

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Marge is right folks. I work with people of all ages and fitness levels and varied lifestyles. I have seen 1000s of people. Guess what...even those with healthy lifestyles eventually have their battles as you get older. Some earlier than others. The ONE and only thing I see as a deciding factor on how well you will recover from health issues (other than faith of course), is whether or not you have a life partner with you when the health issues occur. For all of you avoiding marriage like its the plague...you will see how hard things will get for you when you are older. The medical professionals start saying things to you like...you can't go home, we are sending you to a facility until your better. Just because you had no partner to stay with you 24-7 at your home. If you think this doesn't happen, you are wrong. Legally we cannot let you go home alone or with someone who can't be with you 24-7. There has not been one person who didn't regret not marrying. Through their own confession...but they didn't realize it until its too late. And I have treated many people in their forty and fifties with strokes. And they had healthy lifestyles. There is no doubt we need to be a healthier society. Everyone should strive to improve their health. Unfortunately, as our cells can no longer divide and repair as we age, we cannot recover from injuries as well. You will need help by your side. I hope and wish the best for all of us, all of God's children.
May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Kind, good, honest gentleman? I've been on a lot of dates....those are tough requirements...
(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Kind, good, honest gentleman? I've been on a lot of dates....those are tough requirements...
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I think that there are many such men on CM. Just look around the fora and it will become obvious who they are. Shout out to all the kind, good, honest gentlmen of the CM fora. biggrin wave

May 9th 2013 new
(Quote) Shara-929649 said: (Quote) Laura-857740 said: Kind, good, honest gentleman? I've been on a lot of dates....tho...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

Quote:
Laura-857740 said: Kind, good, honest gentleman? I've been on a lot of dates....those are tough requirements...

I think that there are many such men on CM. Just look around the fora and it will become obvious who they are. Shout out to all the kind, good, honest gentlmen of the CM fora.

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Absolutely Shara...just joking, that's why the smiley face.
May 9th 2013 new
(Quote) Shara-929649 said: (Quote) Laura-857740 said: Kind, good, honest gentleman? I've been on a lot of dates....tho...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

Quote:
Laura-857740 said: Kind, good, honest gentleman? I've been on a lot of dates....those are tough requirements...

I think that there are many such men on CM. Just look around the fora and it will become obvious who they are. Shout out to all the kind, good, honest gentlmen of the CM fora.

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Absolutely Shara...just joking, that's why the smiley face.
May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Peter-933860 said: You do have a way with words.
(Quote) Peter-933860 said:

You do have a way with words.

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biggrin

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Absolutely Shara...just joking, that's why the smiley face.
(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Absolutely Shara...just joking, that's why the smiley face.
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Oops sorry Laura. I am now standing there with egg on my face. embarassed

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