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This room is for general discussion that doesn't specifically fit into one of the other CatholicMatch rooms. Topics should not be overly serious as this is to be more of a "cafe setting."

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May 8th 2013 new

I absolutely agree Marge. clap clap

May 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said:Personally, I'm sick of the attitude (and you read it in every women's magazine) that the wom...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:
Personally, I'm sick of the attitude (and you read it in every women's magazine) that the woman is a "prize to be won".

A good man is a prize to be won, also, and should be treated as such with kindness, charity, generosity, and patience.

I'm sure the other ladies who have lost a good man will say the same.

--hide--

I'm with Marge- excellent point(s)! ... I read the original post and wasn't quite sure how to respond to that.

I will be patient when you have a bad day.

I will try to make a harmonious and clean home.

I will try to appreciate those little "chivelrous" things you do for me ;)

I will try to love your family like my own.

I will try to be a good spouse and help YOU along to Heaven!

May 8th 2013 new

Well, Paul, you certainly are brave to bring this up; and I commend you all the more for it!


The truth is, we live in a woman's world right now; let's be honest. What anyone might be ridiculed, criticized, hampered or denied to do, think, or say, if a woman says it, it automatically is "ok". (Women may chirp up, "well, its about time! after all these centuries of being a 'man's world'!" or "you're just saying that because you have a hate complex against women, Camille; there must be something wrong with you to make you say that." But, again, one of the hardest things we women struggle with is being honest--with ourselves. lol)

My grandmother, God rest her soul, used to differentiate between "women" and "ladies", and there are many differences. To name a few: a Woman cares most about what someone can do for her, a Lady cares about what she can do for someone else; a Woman cares about all the hurts she has experienced from other people in her life (especially men ;) and can probably list each culprit and incident in detail, a Lady will offer these sufferings to God and try to forgive these souls "keeping all these things in her heart"; a Woman will demand equal rights and demand "her justice" in every level of society and religion, a Lady will learn obedience to authority God has placed in her life and will have true feminine strength in every aspect of her life--because she has Faith; a Woman will seek to establish herself as her own entity, a Lady will seek to work WITH others.

I think you can see the parrallel I am drawing now; and I think you will agree with me that Mary was a LADY, not a Woman, in my Grandmother's simple definition of the two names. (Remember, it is not what you say, but what you do, that defines you; and Mary most certainly then can be "defined" as a LADY).

I think that we emancipated Women of the 20th and 21st centuries need to look back to Our Lady, and the female saints of history, not to try to find examples of "how men are bad" or "how this was a WOMAN!", but to see their virtues, to see their femininity, and to fall in love with a something that the world has tried to make us forget... that by Women being Ladies, Men can be Gentlemen, and our children, and indeed the whole world, will be so much better!

Sincerely,

May 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: Paul, This is a wonderful topic and should be addressed as well. Speaking for me...
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said:

Paul,

This is a wonderful topic and should be addressed as well. Speaking for me - and I know many of these are as if in a relationship, but that's what I know, and ultimately the part everyone hopes to experience. I think as well, that it describes the type of man I'd like to have, someone who works hard for his family, someone who can play, someone who is present to me and sees me when the world does not, someone who is kind and engaged with the world, someone who cherishes me for me, not just because I am a female and its the gentlemanly thing to do.

Am I deserving of this type of man? When I was younger I wouldn't have known how to answer this. I would have said, I hope so, or probably not, I'm not too special. But, I'm older now and I know who I am and what I have to offer and I know how to love. So yes, I am deserving of a man who loves me and shows that in his actions as well as his words. I have a fine mind, a strong heart, a good will and a definite passion for the welfare of others and a deep faith that guides my thoughts and actions towards others. So what can I promise to bring to the table:

1. You can expect that I appreciate your hard work and respect it without complaining, as I know you work hard for your family. If I think you're lines are blurring, you should expect that I would come to you and say, either that I really need you to be with me for this or that can you arrange your work around that, or that I think you are a little out of balance here and we really need you to be present to us a bit more.

2. That I will always try to be kind in my words and actions.

3. That I will touch you a lot, not mauling you, but I will let my fingers run across your shoulders when I pass you going to another room. I will hug you or curl into you when you're standing in the kitchen or hallway. I'll snuggle against you on the sofa and hold your hand in the car.

4. I will always greet and part from you with a hug and kiss and a smile.

5. I will see you, the part the world overlooks and other people don't bother to notice and I will guard that you protectively and cherish that you, engage with that you, nurture and nourish that you to the best of my abilities.

6. I will listen to you talk about your work for hours on end, because I know it is part of your identity and a large part of your world.

7. I will cook for you and make dishes I know you enjoy. Even better I will cook with you and try new things.

8. I will be warm and welcoming, maybe even meet you at the driveway when you come home from work.

9. I will try very hard not to chase you if you are headed to your mancave for some private time with your thoughs.

10. I will never go through your wallet or personal things without permission or without a grave and serious need.

11. I will pray for you daily.

12. I will put care for you above my own wants and try very hard to identify when you might need something to make you feel loved and appreciated.

13. I will laugh with you.

14. I will tease you.

15. I will banter with you.

16. I don't care what way the roll of toilet paper goes on, but I would appreciate that seat put down at least during the night.

17. I'll help or at least keep you company during a project.

18. I will write you notes or letters, sometimes to let you know something bothered me but most often to let you know I love you.

19. I will try to make our home a place of sanctuary.

20. I will try to be home for you, so that in my presence you feel both peace and love.

21. I will let you know when you have done something I think is hurtful or wrong but do so without disaparaging comments.

22. I will encourage you in your faith journey and the practice of our shared faith as I hope you would do the same for me.

23. I will hurt when you hurt.

24. I will hold you tight when you lose someone you love and love you through the grief process.

25. I will try to be appreciative of the small things as well as the large things.

26. I will listen to your stories from your past, your hopes, your fears, your dreams and nightmares without judgment.

27. I will play with you -- cards, puttputt golf, water fights in the summer and snowball fights in the winter. And, yes I will probably talk a little smack ;-).

28. If I have offended you or hurt you in some way, I will ask your forgiveness and endeavor not to do so again.

29. Somedays I might talk your ear off.

30. Somedays I will just be there with you :-)

Is that sort of what you had in mind, Paul?

--hide--

That was beautiful Lauren and I would love to do all that for my man.

Too add

1) I will care for you when you are sick

2) I will love you even when you are feelnig most unloveable.

3) I will allow you to be the man that I know you can be and gently encourage you when you forget that you are THAT man.

4) I will be there when you fall and celebrate with you when you get back up

5) I will never judge you or belittle you in your moments of weakness but love you and support you while gently encouraging you in the right direction

6) I will be that safe house where you can be yourself without any fear of the loss of my love as it will ALWAYS be there for you

7) I will be that "ride or die chick" that guys talk about when they are alone. That no matter what you are going through I will be there with you until the end.

8) That I will always see you as the most attractive man in the world to me even when you are old and gray and holding on to that last natural tooth or that last strand of hair

9) That I will always support and encourage your dreams and never make you feel that any hope you have is impossible

10) That I will make you feel like the most important man in the world because to me you are

11) That I will pray for you when you can't pray and pray for you even when you can

12) That I will always make you feel loved and cherish

13) That I will strive always for both of us to be in heaven

14) That I will love you the same when you only have a penny in your pocket or a million dollars in the bank

15) That I will love our kids and keep our home warm, happy and centered on Christ

16) That I will NEVER loose that twinkle in my eye when I look at you or the smile or giggle I get when I think of you

17) That I will NEVER tire of you and only grow to love you even more no matter how difficult the road ahead may get

18) That you will ALWAYS have me in your corner. TEAM "my man" ALWAYS biggrin

19) That you will NEVER have to be jealous of another man as I will never welcome the romantic attentions of anyone else but you.

20) That I will follow where you lead our family and build a wonderful life with you

21) That you will never have to be afraid but that if you are I will be your shelter and hold you until the storm is over and still think that you are the bravest man in the world.

22) That you will never have to be afraid to show your weaknesses as I will love you inspite of them and because of them.

23) That I will love the parts of you that never want to grow up.

24) That I will always welcome your romantic attentions and that I will strive to keep the romance alive in our relationship even as the years go by

25) That I will never take you or your love for granted

26) That I will be trustworthy and always honest with you in ALL things

27) That you will always be the love of my life second only to God.

May 8th 2013 new
(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Personally, I'm sick of the attitude (and you read it in every women's magazine) that the...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:



Personally, I'm sick of the attitude (and you read it in every women's magazine) that the woman is a "prize to be won".

A good man is a prize to be won, also, and should be treated as such with kindness, charity, generosity, and patience.

I'm sure the other ladies who have lost a good man will say the same.




--hide--


Thank you, Marge, for stating it. Yes, a good man is a prize to be won.
May 8th 2013 new
(Quote) Shara-929649 said: That was beautiful Lauren and I would love to do all that for my man. Too add
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:



That was beautiful Lauren and I would love to do all that for my man.



Too add



1) I will care for you when you are sick



2) I will love you even when you are feelnig most unloveable.



3) I will allow you to be the man that I know you can be and gently encourage you when you forget that you are THAT man.



4) I will be there when you fall and celebrate with you when you get back up



5) I will never judge you or belittle you in your moments of weakness but love you and support you while gently encouraging you in the right direction



6) I will be that safe house where you can be yourself without any fear of the loss of my love as it will ALWAYS be there for you



7) I will be that "ride or die chick" that guys talk about when they are alone. That no matter what you are going through I will be there with you until the end.



8) That I will always see you as the most attractive man in the world to me even when you are old and gray and holding on to that last natural tooth or that last strand of hair



9) That I will always support and encourage your dreams and never make you feel that any hope you have is impossible



10) That I will make you feel like the most important man in the world because to me you are



11) That I will pray for you when you can't pray and pray for you even when you can



12) That I will always make you feel loved and cherish



13) That I will strive always for both of us to be in heaven



14) That I will love you the same when you only have a penny in your pocket or a million dollars in the bank



15) That I will love our kids and keep our home warm, happy and centered on Christ



16) That I will NEVER loose that twinkle in my eye when I look at you or the smile or giggle I get when I think of you



17) That I will NEVER tire of you and only grow to love you even more no matter how difficult the road ahead may get



18) That you will ALWAYS have me in your corner. TEAM "my man" ALWAYS



19) That you will NEVER have to be jealous of another man as I will never welcome the romantic attentions of anyone else but you.



20) That I will follow where you lead our family and build a wonderful life with you



21) That you will never have to be afraid but that if you are I will be your shelter and hold you until the storm is over and still think that you are the bravest man in the world.



22) That you will never have to be afraid to show your weaknesses as I will love you inspite of them and because of them.



23) That I will love the parts of you that never want to grow up.



24) That I will always welcome your romantic attentions and that I will strive to keep the romance alive in our relationship even as the years go by



25) That I will never take you or your love for granted



26) That I will be trustworthy and always honest with you in ALL things



27) That you will always be the love of my life second only to God.

--hide--


Beautifully stated, Shara...
May 8th 2013 new
(Quote) Camille-926250 said: Well, Paul, you certainly are brave to bring this up; and I commend you all the more for it! <...
(Quote) Camille-926250 said:

Well, Paul, you certainly are brave to bring this up; and I commend you all the more for it!




The truth is, we live in a woman's world right now; let's be honest. What anyone might be ridiculed, criticized, hampered or denied to do, think, or say, if a woman says it, it automatically is "ok". (Women may chirp up, "well, its about time! after all these centuries of being a 'man's world'!" or "you're just saying that because you have a hate complex against women, Camille; there must be something wrong with you to make you say that." But, again, one of the hardest things we women struggle with is being honest--with ourselves. lol)



My grandmother, God rest her soul, used to differentiate between "women" and "ladies", and there are many differences. To name a few: a Woman cares most about what someone can do for her, a Lady cares about what she can do for someone else; a Woman cares about all the hurts she has experienced from other people in her life (especially men ;) and can probably list each culprit and incident in detail, a Lady will offer these sufferings to God and try to forgive these souls "keeping all these things in her heart"; a Woman will demand equal rights and demand "her justice" in every level of society and religion, a Lady will learn obedience to authority God has placed in her life and will have true feminine strength in every aspect of her life--because she has Faith; a Woman will seek to establish herself as her own entity, a Lady will seek to work WITH others.



I think you can see the parrallel I am drawing now; and I think you will agree with me that Mary was a LADY, not a Woman, in my Grandmother's simple definition of the two names. (Remember, it is not what you say, but what you do, that defines you; and Mary most certainly then can be "defined" as a LADY).



I think that we emancipated Women of the 20th and 21st centuries need to look back to Our Lady, and the female saints of history, not to try to find examples of "how men are bad" or "how this was a WOMAN!", but to see their virtues, to see their femininity, and to fall in love with a something that the world has tried to make us forget... that by Women being Ladies, Men can be Gentlemen, and our children, and indeed the whole world, will be so much better!





Sincerely,



--hide--


There is the old saying, 'The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.' When women are ladies, good wives and mothers and sweethearts, as you stated Camille, men are usually inspired to be gentlemen. Our 'movement' has so confused things.
May 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: Paul, This is a wonderful topic and should be addressed as well. Speaking for me...
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said:

Paul,

This is a wonderful topic and should be addressed as well. Speaking for me - and I know many of these are as if in a relationship, but that's what I know, and ultimately the part everyone hopes to experience. I think as well, that it describes the type of man I'd like to have, someone who works hard for his family, someone who can play, someone who is present to me and sees me when the world does not, someone who is kind and engaged with the world, someone who cherishes me for me, not just because I am a female and its the gentlemanly thing to do.

Am I deserving of this type of man? When I was younger I wouldn't have known how to answer this. I would have said, I hope so, or probably not, I'm not too special. But, I'm older now and I know who I am and what I have to offer and I know how to love. So yes, I am deserving of a man who loves me and shows that in his actions as well as his words. I have a fine mind, a strong heart, a good will and a definite passion for the welfare of others and a deep faith that guides my thoughts and actions towards others. So what can I promise to bring to the table:

1. You can expect that I appreciate your hard work and respect it without complaining, as I know you work hard for your family. If I think you're lines are blurring, you should expect that I would come to you and say, either that I really need you to be with me for this or that can you arrange your work around that, or that I think you are a little out of balance here and we really need you to be present to us a bit more.

2. That I will always try to be kind in my words and actions.

3. That I will touch you a lot, not mauling you, but I will let my fingers run across your shoulders when I pass you going to another room. I will hug you or curl into you when you're standing in the kitchen or hallway. I'll snuggle against you on the sofa and hold your hand in the car.

4. I will always greet and part from you with a hug and kiss and a smile.

5. I will see you, the part the world overlooks and other people don't bother to notice and I will guard that you protectively and cherish that you, engage with that you, nurture and nourish that you to the best of my abilities.

6. I will listen to you talk about your work for hours on end, because I know it is part of your identity and a large part of your world.

7. I will cook for you and make dishes I know you enjoy. Even better I will cook with you and try new things.

8. I will be warm and welcoming, maybe even meet you at the driveway when you come home from work.

9. I will try very hard not to chase you if you are headed to your mancave for some private time with your thoughs.

10. I will never go through your wallet or personal things without permission or without a grave and serious need.

11. I will pray for you daily.

12. I will put care for you above my own wants and try very hard to identify when you might need something to make you feel loved and appreciated.

13. I will laugh with you.

14. I will tease you.

15. I will banter with you.

16. I don't care what way the roll of toilet paper goes on, but I would appreciate that seat put down at least during the night.

17. I'll help or at least keep you company during a project.

18. I will write you notes or letters, sometimes to let you know something bothered me but most often to let you know I love you.

19. I will try to make our home a place of sanctuary.

20. I will try to be home for you, so that in my presence you feel both peace and love.

21. I will let you know when you have done something I think is hurtful or wrong but do so without disaparaging comments.

22. I will encourage you in your faith journey and the practice of our shared faith as I hope you would do the same for me.

23. I will hurt when you hurt.

24. I will hold you tight when you lose someone you love and love you through the grief process.

25. I will try to be appreciative of the small things as well as the large things.

26. I will listen to your stories from your past, your hopes, your fears, your dreams and nightmares without judgment.

27. I will play with you -- cards, puttputt golf, water fights in the summer and snowball fights in the winter. And, yes I will probably talk a little smack ;-).

28. If I have offended you or hurt you in some way, I will ask your forgiveness and endeavor not to do so again.

29. Somedays I might talk your ear off.

30. Somedays I will just be there with you :-)

Is that sort of what you had in mind, Paul?

--hide--


Did you pen that yourself?

May 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Marianne-100218 said: Did you pen that yourself?
(Quote) Marianne-100218 said:



Did you pen that yourself?

--hide--

Yes I did.

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: Yes I did.
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said:

Yes I did.

--hide--


I don't think you left anything out. Good job, Lauren.

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