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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

May 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Karen-968923 said: Truly listening and conversation engagement is the key to all relationships. That is why it is so import...
(Quote) Karen-968923 said: Truly listening and conversation engagement is the key to all relationships. That is why it is so important to women and means a lot when men actually listen to them. I would think it is the same for me.
--hide--
Thanks for your input.

When the lady asked, "Have you been listening?", I, knowing she was very tired and likely not able hear me well in the situation, started to write an imaginary list and replied, "I'm listing".

More alert than I had expected at the time, she pressed me with, "Listing or listening!?!"

Not wanting to lie, I said, "Listing", and like a listing ship soon sank as she stomped away.

Wondering why I didn't at least get credit for being clever, scratchchin eyebrow

John

May 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-384374 said: Are you trying to be funny? Because I am revolted that anyone would think g...
(Quote) Elizabeth-384374 said:

Are you trying to be funny? Because I am revolted that anyone would think going into anaphylactic shock -someone dying- could be humourous. Anaphylactic shock is not a "seizure" - my dog has those and I'll get to that in a bit- rather it causes your airway to close and your blood pressure to drop rapidly. If not treated people can - and have- died. I have gone into anaphylactic shock - thankfully in a hosptial- and it took an hour before I was able to "come to" in the sense that I understood and remembered where I was and what I was doing there.

My dog has eplispy - ie, seizures. Let me explain in vivid detail what happens: She knows when she is about to get a seizure and starts to eat anything that has salt in it. This includes dirty kleenex and garbage. If I don't give her extra medication or if the extra medication doesn't work, the seizure happens. She'll sit up, like she's about to shake her head as many dogs do, but her head gets "stuck" and it looks like she's screaming in pain but no sounds comes. Rather, her body twitches back and forth, she falls over, and she continues to twitch. This is the grand mal seizure. Her mouth is agape the entire time, her tongue sticks out to the side, she is foaming at the mouth, and the twitching can last for up to 2 minutes. Thank God that it only lasts a few seconds anymore with the new medication. Once the twitchy is over, the seizure isn't. She'll lie there for a good minute to two, eyes dilated - all this time from the onset of the seizure, I'm petting her and singing/talking to her- and be completely unable to respond. Her breaths are shallow. It's only after this that she starts to break out of the seizure. She'll try to get up but can't. Her legs can't support her right away. She'll fall down to her side, her legs slipping under her if I don't catch her in time. Once she can stand, she'll sniff start to sniff everything around her. However, she still isn't oriented and is in a dream like /drunken type state. Thank God again that my pup is a "happy drunk" because in several epilepsy forums I've heard of people and animals that come out of the seizure snarling and biting. They have no idea what they are doing as their brain is basically rebooting. Once she can walk on all fours to some degree, I need to let her outside immediately because she has no control over any of her muscles. This drunken puppy stage can last up to a half hour but typically only last 5 minutes with her. It's after this the seizure is completely over and her brain has rebooted. At this point, I need to give her more medication and an asprin.

Does any of that sound fun? Does it sound like something that another person would risk happening if they even liked the individual with allergies or epilepsy? What you described isn't even humane let alone Christian. Food allergies and epilepsy aren't things to be played with - they are life and death situations.

--hide--
If an attempt at humor includes a group with a specific medical problem and if it focuses on an embarrassment that often flows from their weakness such as stumbling by a cripple or walking into a wall by a blind person, that would be something I'd avoid. That would focus on making fun of the affliction itself. In this dating site where kissing threads have been frequent, my focus was on the kissing angle and if it made fun of anyone it did so in an implicit way of the man.

I will let each reader make a judgment of what I wrote and what you wrote.

May 16th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: If an attempt at humor includes a group with a specific medical problem and if it focuses on an em...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

If an attempt at humor includes a group with a specific medical problem and if it focuses on an embarrassment that often flows from their weakness such as stumbling by a cripple or walking into a wall by a blind person, that would be something I'd avoid. That would focus on making fun of the affliction itself. In this dating site where kissing threads have been frequent, my focus was on the kissing angle and if it made fun of anyone it did so in an implicit way of the man.

I will let each reader make a judgment of what I wrote and what you wrote.

--hide--

So then you find it humourous when a man takes advantage of a woman in a serious medical condition? Although taken to a full extreme, Steubenville, anyone?

May 16th 2013 new
(quote) Elizabeth-384374 said: So then you find it humourous when a man takes advantage of a woman in a serious medical condition? Although taken to a full extreme, Steubenville, anyone?
Really? Maybe you can come up with something more extreme, Snubbenville anyone?.
May 16th 2013 new
(quote) John-184825 said: If a woman mentions something about herself that is obvioulsly of great importance, such as being very allergic to certain foods, it's not hard to realize that she wants a man to remember that. Also it's not difficult to figure out why she wants him to remember.

What has surprised me is how happy, even close to thrilled, some women have been when, without any intention on my part to impress in any way, I have merely remembered and voiced some minor point they made in a past conversation.

An example of this might be that woman is, at a particular moment, talking about one of her uncles and I, in order to clarify which of her uncles is the one to whom she is referring, ask, "Was that the one who played golf even though he was born with a withered arm?"

I would never have thought that such an insignificant recollection would evoke from any woman something more than, "Yes, that's the same one", but instead such words sometimes have moved a woman to say, "Oh, you remembered that! You get a lot of points for that!" and to express this with a lot of unexpected emotion and appreciation.

I have since received the explanation that a significant number of women are so accustomed to men's rarely listening to them, that such a modest comment by a man can move them much more deeply than would have been be predicted. The confirmation that she has been heard turns out to be a very big deal for a woman.

Listening but not glistening,

John

John,

I have found this to be true, as well. It really comes down to what any of us would expect of someone who truly cares for us--to be listened to, understood, and considered/cared for by the other person.

We guys get a charge out of our Lady remembering and considering us, too. :-) It kind of makes you more special to us.


Blessings,

Michael
May 16th 2013 new
(quote) Michael-780154 said: John,

I have found this to be true, as well. It really comes down to what any of us would expect of someone who truly cares for us--to be listened to, understood, and considered/cared for by the other person.

We guys get a charge out of our Lady remembering and considering us, too. :-) It kind of makes you more special to us.


Blessings,

Michael
Michael,

Thanks for relating you view.

To repeat myself, it was the big reaction over the relatively insignificant item remembered that was striking.

In reference to what makes gifts significant, we have all heard the remark, "It is the thought that matters". I think that in the situation that I mentioned there is a something else that makes the minor remembering important, but in this case that something else was not the thought because what I did was rather accidental. A very interesting question is, "What exactly was that something else that lifted a remark of seeming minimal importance to great heights?" scratchchin

John



May 16th 2013 new
Most of we women have been used to never being listened to but being expected to always be the ones to listen well and remember everything about any men we've dated.

Note: If we talk too much, taking notes helps:)laughing (i've gotten so used to doing this professionally that i do it on dates and during sermons as well so i can double check later to see if that was what i really heard. embarassed )
May 17th 2013 new
(quote) Marie-358484 said: Most of we women have been used to never being listened to but being expected to always be the ones to listen well and remember everything about any men we've dated.

Note: If we talk too much, taking notes helps:) (i've gotten so used to doing this professionally that i do it on dates and during sermons as well so i can double check later to see if that was what i really heard. )
Hi Marie,

Other women have voiced the same general experience that you expressed in your first sentence, but I still liked to read your new way of rendering it. Hearing the same important theme in various forms helps to inculcate the message. smile

Your second paragraph suggests the possibility that you are both a court reporter and a courting reporting. If so, which of the two is more interesting? scratchchin

John




May 18th 2013 new
i did take a Constitutional Law course that was very enlightening but am definitely not court or presidential material (i'd most likely get us out of debt within the first 3 months of a presidency by eliminating any country that hadn't written off our debt when we've done so for theirs, we'd be debt-free and self-supporting pretty quick!). Admittedly, i am perhaps too inculpating to work in our present court system or as a reporter. embarassed
Thus, i'm just a big note-taker with everything since i live by day planner so have found it useful to take notes upon all. i am most certainly courting the idea of being courted but reporting would require a less ultra-conservative attitude unfortunately (it indubitably could be fun if there were only enough time in a day!). laughing

i've been working with individuals suffering from Trauma and Grant Writing for work whilst schooling and writing (yet cannot afford to publish as yet) and caring for my parrot-rescue pets so time is but a daydream. fluffy
May 18th 2013 new
(quote) Marie-358484 said: i did take a Constitutional Law course that was very enlightening but am definitely not court or presidential material (i'd most likely get us out of debt within the first 3 months of a presidency by eliminating any country that hadn't written off our debt when we've done so for theirs, we'd be debt-free and self-supporting pretty quick!). Admittedly, i am perhaps too inculpating to work in our present court system or as a reporter.
Thus, i'm just a big note-taker with everything since i live by day planner so have found it useful to take notes upon all. i am most certainly courting the idea of being courted but reporting would require a less ultra-conservative attitude unfortunately (it indubitably could be fun if there were only enough time in a day!).

i've been working with individuals suffering from Trauma and Grant Writing for work whilst schooling and writing (yet cannot afford to publish as yet) and caring for my parrot-rescue pets so time is but a daydream.
Glad to hear that you don't have to report torts in courts as that would be both tortuous and torturous. eyepopping Also glad to hear you're among the courting sort as that is in accord with this site. cool I just have one question, "Do Grant Writers take things for granted? scratchchin
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