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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

May 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-726519 said: Linda, thank you for your witness. I would love to find one day what you had. Nice to know its possible...
(Quote) Daniel-726519 said: Linda, thank you for your witness. I would love to find one day what you had. Nice to know its possible and not just a novel idea. Unfortunate I know my best friend is not the one for me. She views me asking her out as a breach of the trust we have and stopped talking to me for a month the last time I asked her out. There are also a few fundamental differences in what we want in a relationship (marriage and kids) and while I think she'd eventually change her mind, it's not my place to change her.
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Well said. I think "that One" God has in mind for us will not need to be changed. I think a key ingredient is shared delight. Friendships are priceless - as is intimate companionship (think marriage). Time may lead friends into romance, and more time may lead them back to friendship as the romance phase brings out special considerations that test the breadth of a relationship. This is one place where restraining physical intimacy is so important; if you proceed to marriage, you have that beautiful sharing and ultimate gift of self yet to give; and if you slip from romance, you have not complicated the continued association. I have some very dear and long-time friends that I'm sure I would not have if we had given in to 'nature'. Perhaps, with your friend ... set aside thoughts of 'more' - turn it over to God - and continue to be a true friend. You have let her know that you consider her a possibility; that will remain in her mind, and if more is meant to be, God will germinate that seed and bring it to full bloom. Best of Luck, and Blessings.

May 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-726519 said: Linda, thank you for your witness. I would love to find one day what you had. Nice to know its possible...
(Quote) Daniel-726519 said: Linda, thank you for your witness. I would love to find one day what you had. Nice to know its possible and not just a novel idea. Unfortunate I know my best friend is not the one for me. She views me asking her out as a breach of the trust we have and stopped talking to me for a month the last time I asked her out. There are also a few fundamental differences in what we want in a relationship (marriage and kids) and while I think she'd eventually change her mind, it's not my place to change her.
--hide--

Well said. I think "that One" God has in mind for us will not need to be changed. I think a key ingredient is shared delight. Friendships are priceless - as is intimate companionship (think marriage). Time may lead friends into romance, and more time may lead them back to friendship as the romance phase brings out special considerations that test the breadth of a relationship. This is one place where restraining physical intimacy is so important; if you proceed to marriage, you have that beautiful sharing and ultimate gift of self yet to give; and if you slip from romance, you have not complicated the continued association. I have some very dear and long-time friends that I'm sure I would not have if we had given in to 'nature'. Perhaps, with your friend ... set aside thoughts of 'more' - turn it over to God - and continue to be a true friend. You have let her know that you consider her a possibility; that will remain in her mind, and if more is meant to be, God will germinate that seed and bring it to full bloom. Best of Luck, and Blessings.

May 12th 2013 new

oops! that's wierd, I guess I see how that happens ... my session indicated an error and said try again, so I 'obeyed' - very unlike me!

May 12th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: I would hope that the average man wants a woman who's not a nut case.
Unfortunately, I think from what I've seen of society is that's exactly what the average guy wants, or maybe what the average man turns the average woman into. I think it takes an above average or extraordinary man, which I pray to God I am, to resist what society tells us to want.
May 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-726519 said: Linda, thank you for your witness. I would love to find one day what you had. Nice to know its possible...
(Quote) Daniel-726519 said: Linda, thank you for your witness. I would love to find one day what you had. Nice to know its possible and not just a novel idea. Unfortunate I know my best friend is not the one for me. She views me asking her out as a breach of the trust we have and stopped talking to me for a month the last time I asked her out. There are also a few fundamental differences in what we want in a relationship (marriage and kids) and while I think she'd eventually change her mind, it's not my place to change her.
--hide--


Bingo. It isn't your place to change someone. People can only change themselves and they have to want to. It will happen. You know what you want!

May 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-726519 said: ... She ...stopped talking to me for a month the last time I asked her out.
(Quote) Daniel-726519 said: ... She ...stopped talking to me for a month the last time I asked her out.
--hide--

FLAKE ALERT!!

Move on, brudda. She's a nut case.

May 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: I would hope that the average man wants a woman who's not a nut case.
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

I would hope that the average man wants a woman who's not a nut case.

--hide--

One would hope Marge, but you didn't meet some of the girls my son and his buddies dated LOL. . .

May 12th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said:


FLAKE ALERT!!

Move on, brudda. She's a nut case.

She's been my best for 7 years. While it's advisable to move on from the idea of dating her and she needs some further healing in her life before she should enter into any relationship, she's stuck by me.
May 12th 2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-726519 said: An important thing to me in a relationship is that it grows out of a friendship. And I don't say th...
(Quote) Daniel-726519 said: An important thing to me in a relationship is that it grows out of a friendship. And I don't say this as something to attract women who say they dream their husband will be their best friend, I really mean it. I feel that knowing a woman for something like 6 months is essential to actually be starting a relationship on something other than physical attraction. Not an ideal approach to combine with website dating to say the least it seems. I've met a few people online and despite them saying they agreed with this, they either weren't willing to continue the friendship when they determined immediate dating attraction wasn't there, or they ended the friendship when it didn't progress to me asking them out before another guy asked them out. And unfortunately, all of my female friends who I find to be compatible with me don't agree.

So here are the questions:

Am I foolish to believe this could work and seek it?
Is this still a good pursuit, but maybe just not for a dating site?
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All I can say is this...when I was 21, the first time I fell in what I thought at the time was love, it was with someone who I only considered a friend....a friend first. I think it is important and nice to hear in a young man.

May 12th 2013 new

Maybe she hasn't stuck by you so much as held onto you for support....

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