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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
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Jun 13th 2013 new
(quote) Brian-906925 said: There needs to be a voice behind the dynamic of this, just if anything, to give perspective from the non divorced, non annulled crowd. I found dating women that were married in the past, there were always expectations of things, only two formerly married people could possibly expect of each other, the same goes with kids, I have none, why would I be expected to just raise your's? Often the dynamic is, one has to outlive the mistakes their former spouse made, one also has to take a far back seat to the children, and way too often, their kids are the center of their world.

The red flags always show up when they decide I'm going to hear all about their kids, especially early on in the friendship, and honestly, I have no kids, what on earth what I have to relate to in that regards? Moving on from there, something deep inside of me, moves me to not consider an annulment to be a license to remarry. It just rubs me the wrong way when I hear in almost all cases, the original marriage vows are what are being broken. These are stemmed in almost all cases because the couple decided to forgoe the traditional manner of courting, they just jump right in, and wonder why things went wrong.. If you really get to know that person, you will know their friends, relatives, their reputation, and it will be no mystery along what to expect down the road.

Just my two cents, for what it's worth, but it's why I will not date anybody who is divorced, annulled, or otherwise, especially if they have children. I want my own, and i am not raising someone else s kids, for every time they look at them, they are reminded of what and who they had in the past, there never is clear separation in that regards.
Wow. Well, you are certainly entitled to your opinion and thoughts on the matter and it;s much better that you lay it out there than not. Yet, you are excluding an awful lot of people--many women if not most in your age group have children already or would be getting into the years where it would be difficult to conceive. Personally, though my youngest is 13, I would not be at all opposed to considering someone who had children at home from a previous marriage--in fact, I think it would be an added attraction.

As for a "clear separation", well, what if the person is widowed? Would you want them to never remember their deceased spouse when they look at their children? Why? Not every relationship i life is made up of the perfect nuclear family where no one ever dies, or faces abandonment, annullment, divorce perhaps against their will, etc, or where there are not children involved. I can understand having never been married wanting your own kids, etc, but unless you marry a woman at least ten years younger, her childbearing capacities will begin to be limited quite soon--the ability to conceive naturally drops sharply after age 35, so that may be something to consider.
Jun 13th 2013 new
You want to stop, the at "your" age in my particular case. People age differently, some at a much slower pace then others, and it shows in their energy level, mindset, etc. not to mention the physical aspects. The typical age of women that I notice, notice me and show clear interest when I'm out and about is between 21-28. I would make a consolation if she was a widow, and that's such a rare instance, not something one would wish on another human being ever, much less to wait for.

I have no problem about 10 plus years younger, as long as they can keep up with me lol. I'm just sharing with you my experiences, and going back to the age thing, there is not some extensive long list of gals I was with in the past at all, so it's also an area I can't be lumped into, when typically guys my age are divorced, have kids, body clock and otherwise is very much winding down and all. God has been good at keeping my youth in tact, and I've been doing my part, keeping my pace up naturally, from the stride of how I walk to taking on new ventures.
Jul 2nd 2013 new
Frank, very well stated. I agree with you. I wish more Catholic men (from my perspective ;-) understood why annulments are so important. As soon as I started articulating our faith as an adult (at the age of 39) is when I seriously began working on my annulment. The whole process is a gift of mercy, forgiveness and healing for us.

Jul 6th 2013 new
I agree... I had a gentleman step away from a two year developed relationship because he was struggling with the grounds that my annulment seemed to be granted upon. I know that I answered as truthfully as possible, prayed about it as I answered many of the emotionally difficult questions. and prayed for the deacon, the tribunal and those who were witnesses in my case as they all fulfilled their parts. I had to trust God... who else is there?
Jul 11th 2013 new
Thank you Amy. I hadn't been here for awhile, and came today to refresh my recollection as to some of the comments I made and responses rec'd.
A friend who teaches high school kids in our Parish summer Bible school, asked me to speak to them after Mass tomorrow morning on being able to trust the Church. I think annulment is a great example. God gave us His Church, and its leadership, and if we do the best we can on our end, we can trust in God's approbation on the other end, given His power of binding and loosing conferred on Peter.
God bless you and all who repsonded here. I learned a lot from reading the other comments. Best wishes for a good Holy Catholic match. Frank
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