Well, I'll be! Onome! Good to see you again! Have you forgotten how to reply in your years away from CM?
Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
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Can I add some nuance here? I wonder if the question matters more to women to men. I won't have sex until I am married, but 5/7 is not a deal breaker for me (at least on CM.) The fact that a woman is ok with premarital sex doesn't mean to me we would have sex or even taht she wants to, and as a guy i would not feel threatend by a woman who wanted to have sex before marriage (it would annoy me.) However, I could imagine that women could feel threatend by a man who felt ok with that, and also worry that a 7/7 was lying. Thoughts & Coments?
It depends on why she is 5/7? Misunderstanding or struggling with the faith and willing to submit to the faith? No problem. Obstinate rejection of the Church's moral authority (moral relativism)? No way.
I think this rule applies better to young boys and girls who have lived a chaste life all the way up to marriage, are virgin and are going to get married. Then the "no sex before marriage" has a symbolic significance: when they marry each other, that night, the contract is actually written in the blood of the hymen, and as it is common throughout the bible, there is no contract, no covenant without blood being spilled. In the past, I believe the father of the girl used to keep the bed sheets on which the marriage was consumed (with the blood and all) as a proof that her daughter was a virgin.
In my case, I was already married and I am no longer a virgin. I have a hard time seeing how that no-premarital sex would apply to me, unless the girl I would be in the process of marrying is a virgin.
So I will not lie to myself. I don't know how the priests do it, but I like sex, and if I have the opportunity, at my age, I will have sex before marriage.
After reading your posts, Jacques, in which you talk about opportunities, as I woman I think: What if you get married and after sometime your wife goes on a wheelchair, etc. or is pregnant? Would you have sex with other women when you have the "opportunity"?