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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

May 20th 2013 new
Such a hard question, because no matter what we think we want, we are missing something that we need and if we let HIm, God will sort it out. But, I am drawn to men who are Alpha male, strong, capable, confident, leaders. I like a deep hearty laugh and crinkling smiling eyes. I like someone who can tell jokes and toss a naughty grin. I like bald, but hair is okay too, just if one is bald, wear it proudly, it is a sign of virility and high testosterone, its a good thing. I like strong powerful hands and arms that have seen some tough work and not just a gym. Hands that can be both strong and powerful and incredibly gentle.

But most importantly, I want a man who sees me, that me no one else notices or gets. I want to be able to talk about everything from string theory to lawn care, artists to comedians. Someone who makes me feel, safe, appreciated and loved. Someone who doesn't mind being affectionate or standing at my side in public -- do not maul me in public, but keep a hand on my back, hold my hand, a sweet kiss. Be my friend, my fan, my other half.
May 20th 2013 new
Thank you so much, Sheila! It's what comes of having a very supportive mom (who I talk to whenever the guys do something unexpected or dumb, which is almost always), and being online for over a year. Although it's frustrating dealing with some guys, it lets me know what I both want and DO NOT want from a relationship.
May 29th 2013 new
Thank you everybody, and especially you, Marian. Sorry I haven't responded sooner. I have been away for two weeks and went back to work today. I'll post a response later this evening. I appreciate all the feedback I am getting. :-)
May 30th 2013 new
OK, Marian, I am finally going to answer your question about how I express empathy toward others (sorry I took so long but I was on a two week hiatus, spending it on a vacation/retreat/pilgrimage).

The ways I express empathy are mainly to listen sincerely to a person, looking that person right in the eye and listening sincerely, without being distracted. Then I respond with comments to let the person know that I listened and feel for the person, comments like "I understand", or "I know what that's like", or "I don't blame you for feeling that way".

Then there is "active empathy" - feeding the poor in a soup kitchen, helping someone out without enabling the person, and the like.

Here in this forum I not only want to read the responses but also feel the responses so that I can best understand the challenges facing women who are seeking men. I do not seek to change myself from who I really am, for that would be acting like a fake toward a woman. Rather, I seek to learn from women and change the things I need to change and can change, and accept the rest.


May 30th 2013 new
That may be. I am getting a lot of feedback that I find valuable here.
May 30th 2013 new
Oh yes, thanks for bringing that up! I am praying for everyone here on CM.
May 30th 2013 new
Beautiful post and beautiful poetry! Thanks for sharing!
May 30th 2013 new
(quote) Elise-590617 said: Angela, The Invitation is one of my favourites, too.

The Invitation by Oriah

It doesnt interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your hearts longing.
It doesnt interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesnt interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by lifes betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.
It doesnt interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
Yes.
It doesnt interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesnt interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesnt interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah Mountain Dreaming,

This is beautiful poetry Angela!
May 30th 2013 new
Thanks EVERYBODY for your postings! As I expected, they are varied, but very valuable to me! I think we all learned from what we shared here.

I am often involved with discussion groups that share experiences and knowledge and, from these kinds of experiences, everybody teaches and everybody learns. I hope that is what has happened here...that you all also got something out of this.

Pax Christi!
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