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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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I posted this in another forum, but the over 45 crowd doesn't seem to have any advice for me.

There is this guy that I have had my eye on for a while. He goes to my church, and I only ever see him at church, so once a week, mostly. A couple of things: the man is fairly significantly older than me, like somewhere between 55-65 I'd guess. Now, I myself don't care about the age thing. I find him incredibly attractive.

He seems pretty shy. He doesn't really talk to people and looks at the ground when he walks (which I do too, so I can relate) Also, our church isn't really conducive to socializing. People show up, go in quietly, sit down, have the service, then they leave quietly, maybe speak to the priest, then go to their cars.

I do smile at him and try to make eye contact, sometimes successfully sometimes not. I'd like to talk to him, but don't know how to make it happen, without it seeming really forced. I don't even know his name, but even if I found out, what good would that do? It's not like I could stalk the guy. Really, I'd like to get him to approach me, but not sure if there is a way to do that without some sort of psychic ability.

I typically subscribe to the philosophy that if a guy is interested, he'll do something about it. But, with our age difference, I don't know whether to adhere to that or not. I feel like I have to be the one to make my interest clear.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.



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May 13th 2013 new
I really think if you are that interested go talk to him. I don't think there really is anything you are going to be able to do to get him to talk to you unless you fell in front of him. Us guys are usually not so smart when it comes to even subtle hints.
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May 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Andrew-560653 said: I really think if you are that interested go talk to him. I don't think there really is anything yo...
(Quote) Andrew-560653 said: I really think if you are that interested go talk to him. I don't think there really is anything you are going to be able to do to get him to talk to you unless you fell in front of him. Us guys are usually not so smart when it comes to even subtle hints.
--hide--


Hmmm....falling down in front of him I could do. Talk to him? Eh.....not so much. I cannot state enough how awkwardly shy I am.


embarassed

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May 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Melissa-537851 said: Hmmm....falling down in front of him I could do. Talk to him? Eh.....not ...
(Quote) Melissa-537851 said:


Hmmm....falling down in front of him I could do. Talk to him? Eh.....not so much. I cannot state enough how awkwardly shy I am.

--hide--

haha, that is very brave! ..mmm what about asking the priest about him? he could help out for the two of you talk in a very natural way! Are there any bible studies? Does he ever go for coffee & cookies after Mass?

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May 13th 2013 new

Melissa, it sounds like he might be as shy as you are. It's hard because you know so little about him. Do you participate in any of your parish activities? There must be a patron saint of shyness, but I don't know who it is. Say a prayer. Speak to him- you have nothing to loose, and lots to gain.

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May 13th 2013 new

Are you sure he's single?

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May 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Melissa-537851 said: I posted this in another forum, but the over 45 crowd doesn't seem to have any advice for m...
(Quote) Melissa-537851 said:

I posted this in another forum, but the over 45 crowd doesn't seem to have any advice for me.

There is this guy that I have had my eye on for a while. He goes to my church, and I only ever see him at church, so once a week, mostly. A couple of things: the man is fairly significantly older than me, like somewhere between 55-65 I'd guess. Now, I myself don't care about the age thing. I find him incredibly attractive.

He seems pretty shy. He doesn't really talk to people and looks at the ground when he walks (which I do too, so I can relate) Also, our church isn't really conducive to socializing. People show up, go in quietly, sit down, have the service, then they leave quietly, maybe speak to the priest, then go to their cars.

I do smile at him and try to make eye contact, sometimes successfully sometimes not. I'd like to talk to him, but don't know how to make it happen, without it seeming really forced. I don't even know his name, but even if I found out, what good would that do? It's not like I could stalk the guy. Really, I'd like to get him to approach me, but not sure if there is a way to do that without some sort of psychic ability.

I typically subscribe to the philosophy that if a guy is interested, he'll do something about it. But, with our age difference, I don't know whether to adhere to that or not. I feel like I have to be the one to make my interest clear.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.



--hide--


Sit next to him at mass.

LOCKED
May 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Sol-496426 said: haha, that is very brave! ..mmm what about asking the priest about him? he could help out for the t...
(Quote) Sol-496426 said:

haha, that is very brave! ..mmm what about asking the priest about him? he could help out for the two of you talk in a very natural way! Are there any bible studies? Does he ever go for coffee & cookies after Mass?

[/quote]

Like I said before, our church is not a very social one. No coffee and doughnuts or cookies or anything like that. Not many extracurriculars, either. It is a small country church. There is a youth group, which I am fairly certain he is not a part of. There is the cleaning/decorating ladies group. There is a bible study group, which if I had to hedge my bets, I would say he is not a participant. And, that's pretty much it. There is a "main" parish in our county that is sort of the flagship parish, and it has all of the bigger groups, like CRHP, Daughters of Isabella, etc etc. that the other churches sort of feed into.

I suppose I could ask the priest, but...wouldn't that just be so embarrassing? To ask my priest about a guy nearly twice my age? embarassed

[quote]Suzanne-930338 said:

Melissa, it sounds like he might be as shy as you are. It's hard because you know so little about him. Do you participate in any of your parish activities? There must be a patron saint of shyness, but I don't know who it is. Say a prayer. Speak to him- you have nothing to loose, and lots to gain.

--hide--


St. Thomas the Doubter comes to mind, although his kind of doubt is a bit different than doubt in one's self.



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May 13th 2013 new

Well...I mean whether he is or isn't....what does that matter?


What I mean is: should I stalk him until i know whether he is or isn't single before I decide whether to pursue him?

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May 13th 2013 new
(Quote) Melissa-537851 said: St. Thomas the Doubter comes to mind, although his kind of doubt is a bi...
(Quote) Melissa-537851 said:






St. Thomas the Doubter comes to mind, although his kind of doubt is a bit different than doubt in one's self.





--hide--


Whenever I have fears, trials, or troubles there are 2 bible verses that I turn to, Psalm 23 and 91. Don't let fear hold you back from talking to him. These verse have always helped me when it comes to fear.
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