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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jun 15 new
Hey! Are you referring to the inappropriate author or myself? eyebrow
Jun 15 new
(quote) Lynea-297530 said: Ohh Meg, that made me laugh so hard!
I really need this now, too, as I am home listening to a repair guy saw holes in my wall. (He's doing repairs to some water damage.)
The solution to the repair noise is for you to repair to a different location until the repair guy repairs to his house. cool
Jun 15 new
Women, prayerfully discern whether he is "Mr. Calm", or "Mr. In-His-Own-Little-World". I know many women who have been hurt by the latter, because they wanted the former, and, in fit of longing for _someone_ (read: "anyone") to give their hearts to, they saw calmness that wasn't really there.

The especially insidious thing about Mr. In-His-Own-Little-World is that they can tend to be verbally abusive behind closed doors, and charm everyone beyond those closed doors. You could be left feeling like it's your own fault that he's always closed off, when everyone else seems to like him. Legally, there are laws against physical abuse, but since verbal abuse is so hard to define you risk not having the law to protect you...and again, any of your friends that he has charmed into being approving.
Jun 15 new
(quote) Bradley-266389 said: Women, prayerfully discern whether he is "Mr. Calm", or "Mr. In-His-Own-Little-World". I know many women who have been hurt by the latter, because they wanted the former, and, in fit of longing for _someone_ (read: "anyone") to give their hearts to, they saw calmness that wasn't really there.

The especially insidious thing about Mr. In-His-Own-Little-World is that they can tend to be verbally abusive behind closed doors, and charm everyone beyond those closed doors. You could be left feeling like it's your own fault that he's always closed off, when everyone else seems to like him. Legally, there are laws against physical abuse, but since verbal abuse is so hard to define you risk not having the law to protect you...and again, any of your friends that he has charmed into being approving.
Bradley, you vividly described a situation I was in several years ago when I met Mr. Perfect. At least he presented himself as perfect for the first few months. Everyone who knew him from his parish had the same impression: intellectual, polite, friendly, helpful, low-key/calm. But once we entered the "relationship" stage, he became verbally and emotionally abusive--oh, just little by little at first until it became unbearable. No one who knew him "out in the world" would believe that he had another side to him & couldn't understand why I couldn't be in relationship with him any longer.

From that experience, I tend to feel anxious for anyone wanting to jump into marriage after just a very brief span of time.

When I began this current friendship I'm in it was with the intent of watching & listening very carefully. Even now, after several months of good deep conversation, I hesitate with giving my total & complete trust. What if....? I don't ever want to go down that road again!
Jun 16 new
(quote) Marie-358484 said: Hey! Are you referring to the inappropriate author or myself?
The words "Miss Paine" were meant as a general term for any woman who turned out to be a pain for any man who went against the grain.

I'm not aware of who that "inappropriate author" might be and so no reference to her was intended. But she does sound interesting and I hope the she hops out of her silo in her halo with a, "Hello" for all. cool

Jun 18 new
(quote) Bradley-266389 said: Women, prayerfully discern whether he is "Mr. Calm", or "Mr. In-His-Own-Little-World". I know many women who have been hurt by the latter, because they wanted the former, and, in fit of longing for _someone_ (read: "anyone") to give their hearts to, they saw calmness that wasn't really there.

The especially insidious thing about Mr. In-His-Own-Little-World is that they can tend to be verbally abusive behind closed doors, and charm everyone beyond those closed doors. You could be left feeling like it's your own fault that he's always closed off, when everyone else seems to like him. Legally, there are laws against physical abuse, but since verbal abuse is so hard to define you risk not having the law to protect you...and again, any of your friends that he has charmed into being approving.
Bradley,

Thanks for calmly writing that balanced answer with considerations from more than one angle. That was interesting.

John
Jun 23 new
(quote) Carol-737878 said: Bradley, you vividly described a situation I was in several years ago when I met Mr. Perfect. At least he presented himself as perfect for the first few months. Everyone who knew him from his parish had the same impression: intellectual, polite, friendly, helpful, low-key/calm. But once we entered the "relationship" stage, he became verbally and emotionally abusive--oh, just little by little at first until it became unbearable. No one who knew him "out in the world" would believe that he had another side to him & couldn't understand why I couldn't be in relationship with him any longer.

From that experience, I tend to feel anxious for anyone wanting to jump into marriage after just a very brief span of time.

When I began this current friendship I'm in it was with the intent of watching & listening very carefully. Even now, after several months of good deep conversation, I hesitate with giving my total & complete trust. What if....? I don't ever want to go down that road again!
Carol,

That was an interesting real-life revelation. Glad to hear that you did not end up becalmed with that particular Mr. Calm.

John
Jun 24 new
I think I would prefer a calm guy who wouldn't mind join my adventures once in while.
Jun 25 new
(quote) Ann-69118 said: I think I would prefer a calm guy who wouldn't mind join my adventures once in while.
Hi Ann, I'd imagine that a calm guy would be a better comrade for adventures than would be a nervous guy; on the other hand, if you're planning some misadventures, he may choose to sit things out and be a bencher. John
Posts 131 - 139 of 139