Over my lifetime, my appearance will change. My basic personality will not. I may learn a few new things and gain some perspective before everything is all said and done, but I will not all of the sudden start liking rap music or hate going to the library or whatever. My personality will be enduring. I wanted a gentleman to get to know the real me online before seeing me.
What did that get me on this site? "Men are visual". Really?? On a Catholic site, it doesnt matter what I say or how I behave, or what I believe, just show us what you look like so that you can be judged based upon appearances. Or no photos mean you must be hiding something ... like gross obesity or a really ugly face. Thanks. Youre a perfect specimen of a GQ cover model male yourself.
I have resigned myself to having a few photos up so that folks have a sense of who they are talking to, but I would rather have a gentleman hear what I am saying than just look at me while I am saying something.
I have learned that men draw a lot of peace, joy, happiness from a beautiful woman smiling at them. That smile, that twinkle in her eye, the beauty of her face is in the image of God for men. (I know I find the same in men who smile. )
Personally I find it very disconcerting to come across members who have always had the same picture up over my years here. How can they be the same people they were 8 years ago? I've changed quite a bit in appearance and personality over the years. So have my pictures. My goal is to post a profile picture of me as I look now (this month) and my scrapbook to show a variety of me.
In terms of men without pictures... I will communicate with men with no profile picture, but I know I am not as open with them. I lack a sense of security since I can't see who he is. His words aren't enough. I want to be able to recognize him when we meet.
If a man is having a relationship with my photo and not me, I want to know which one. I change my profile photo often-- several times a year- and keep many in my scrapbook. My philosophy on that includes the idea that frequent changes of my photo is like a slow (very slow) movie of me. I think people have a more complete take on me because each picture captures some unique aspect of me. (This is true for everyone.) pictures capture more than the physical.
I do agree that I want to meet in person. CM people are almost always better in person! Even the fabulous ones are!! I've met hundreds of CMmers and almost all look better in person. People who don't meet others are depriving themselves of having great people in their lives.
Ive been here a long time too. I get frustrated and tired about being single. I would love to have had my last relationship be my last, but it didn't work out. CM has just become part of the fabric of my life, but I've greatly adjusted the way I use the site. I know you have done this too, Marian. (I'm not online nearly as much or posting in the fora all the time.)