Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

May 26 new
Well Greg- After looking at your pictures I see that ---You don't have a picture of yourself and I think you really should.
May 26 new
(quote) Angela-374523 said: When I first joined CM, I did not have photos. I had a thoughtfully-written profile, a quiz and a personality test completed. I wanted someone to like the real me, my personality, and not what I looked like. I want to be married. As a Catholic, I believe that marriage is something sacred and unless there are some serious mitigating circumstances, it should be for life.

Over my lifetime, my appearance will change. My basic personality will not. I may learn a few new things and gain some perspective before everything is all said and done, but I will not all of the sudden start liking rap music or hate going to the library or whatever. My personality will be enduring. I wanted a gentleman to get to know the real me online before seeing me.

What did that get me on this site? "Men are visual". Really?? On a Catholic site, it doesnt matter what I say or how I behave, or what I believe, just show us what you look like so that you can be judged based upon appearances. Or no photos mean you must be hiding something ... like gross obesity or a really ugly face. Thanks. Youre a perfect specimen of a GQ cover model male yourself.

I have resigned myself to having a few photos up so that folks have a sense of who they are talking to, but I would rather have a gentleman hear what I am saying than just look at me while I am saying something.



Angela, I usually agree with you on things, but on this I think you are being unfair to the gentlemen. I don't think it is unreasonable for men to expect pictures of who they are speaking/writing to. (Now, it is offensive to be asked for swimsuit shots, etc!) It is really difficult to conceptualize the real person when all we have to go on is a generic blue or pink shadow. Often what naturally happens is that we construct what we THINK someone looks like. What a booby trap for men!! If they do that and guess wrong we women rake them over the coals for expecting something we are not! How can they win?

I have learned that men draw a lot of peace, joy, happiness from a beautiful woman smiling at them. That smile, that twinkle in her eye, the beauty of her face is in the image of God for men. (I know I find the same in men who smile. )

Personally I find it very disconcerting to come across members who have always had the same picture up over my years here. How can they be the same people they were 8 years ago? I've changed quite a bit in appearance and personality over the years. So have my pictures. My goal is to post a profile picture of me as I look now (this month) and my scrapbook to show a variety of me.

In terms of men without pictures... I will communicate with men with no profile picture, but I know I am not as open with them. I lack a sense of security since I can't see who he is. His words aren't enough. I want to be able to recognize him when we meet.


May 26 new
(quote) Marian-83994 said: Well Greg- After looking at your pictures I see that ---You don't have a picture of yourself and I think you really should.
Marian, I'm curious. Why do you say Greg should have a picture of himself?
May 26 new
One thing that drives me crazy is lots of photos without the subject of the profile included. If I want to see pictures of almost anything at all, I can go to Google Images. Here, if photos are posted, I want to see the person. I'm not going to have a relationship with a mountain or a tree or even a statue, beautiful though those things may be.
May 26 new
Because we want to know and that is---- we ALL want to know who we are talking to. It helps. But to be demanding of photos or overly attached to photos to the exclusion of correspondence shows that someone is not really interested in knowing the other party. In my post I mentioned a man who asked for more photos even after skyping with me more than once--- and then another who wants to still talk here so he can look at my photos. Because he would miss those. I think some may think I should be flattered. But I am not flattered. I am annoyed and want to move things along somewhere else. Like Angela I think that we get TIRED with all of this. We are real people and we will change and we- are- aging- as- we- speak. On that note I will stop for a bit and do something for myself and my appearance. I have just plain been here too long to tolerate much more of the focus on photos. I think they help give a sense of who the person is or how they appear but then we must move forward.
May 26 new
Interesting take on this topic, Marian.

If a man is having a relationship with my photo and not me, I want to know which one. I change my profile photo often-- several times a year- and keep many in my scrapbook. My philosophy on that includes the idea that frequent changes of my photo is like a slow (very slow) movie of me. I think people have a more complete take on me because each picture captures some unique aspect of me. (This is true for everyone.) pictures capture more than the physical.

I do agree that I want to meet in person. CM people are almost always better in person! Even the fabulous ones are!! I've met hundreds of CMmers and almost all look better in person. People who don't meet others are depriving themselves of having great people in their lives.
May 26 new
(quote) Andrew-290721 said: One thing that drives me crazy is lots of photos without the subject of the profile included. If I want to see pictures of almost anything at all, I can go to Google Images. Here, if photos are posted, I want to see the person. I'm not going to have a relationship with a mountain or a tree or even a statue, beautiful though those things may be.
I think this is the way a lot of people feel.
May 26 new
Dawn I agree with you in that we need to see what the man we are speaking to looks like and it helps us to feel more secure. I tend to lack trust in a man who has no photo up. It is just the way it has turned out- so if someone with no photo pursues me, I will not respond very well........sorry... that is just how it has to be..
May 26 new
(quote) Marian-83994 said: Because we want to know and that is---- we ALL want to know who we are talking to. It helps. But to be demanding of photos or overly attached to photos to the exclusion of correspondence shows that someone is not really interested in knowing the other party. In my post I mentioned a man who asked for more photos even after skyping with me more than once--- and then another who wants to still talk here so he can look at my photos. Because he would miss those. I think some may think I should be flattered. But I am not flattered. I am annoyed and want to move things along somewhere else. Like Angela I think that we get TIRED with all of this. We are real people and we will change and we- are- aging- as- we- speak. On that note I will stop for a bit and do something for myself and my appearance. I have just plain been here too long to tolerate much more of the focus on photos. I think they help give a sense of who the person is or how they appear but then we must move forward.
I see. I haven't had that experience. If I did, I would just stop responding to them. I don't let men demand pictures of me.

Ive been here a long time too. I get frustrated and tired about being single. I would love to have had my last relationship be my last, but it didn't work out. CM has just become part of the fabric of my life, but I've greatly adjusted the way I use the site. I know you have done this too, Marian. (I'm not online nearly as much or posting in the fora all the time.)
May 26 new
I've had contact with guys who clearly did not put a lot of effort into reading my profile. I was also on another site that had other Christian denominations, I made it clear I was DEVOUT Catholic and was looking for the same, needed to able to be married in the Catholic Church and needed a leader and how could a man be my leader if he wasn't Catholic. I got tons of winks and emails from EVERYONE BUT Catholics. So . . . yeah, I get it.
Posts 11 - 20 of 88