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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

May 27 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: If you have to do this to get a response from a man, is that a man someone who is going to make a good husband and father?

Unfortunately when men rely so heavily on visual stimulation to determine whom they desire to court, women do not have much choice but to make themselves more "visually appealing" to get the man's attention. I for one am very opposed to the concept of "seduction visualization" but in today's age of pornography women don't really have much choice. Even men of integrity have "seen" just about everything in regards to a woman's body (nothing is left for the imagination) because of the over abundance of pornography available in every shape/form. Men AND women today are visually oversexualized.

Is the man who responds to your seductive photo going to make a good husband and father? Only God knows his heart. I cannot be the judge.

BTW, I am VERY OPPOSED to seductive photos. I just made an observation in regards to women who did provide more "attractive" photos and women who didn't, and shared those observations to the CM community.
May 27 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: As for me, Jerry -- I feel if I have to try to fake who I am just to catch your attention and interest, I'd rather not catch your interest at all! I am who I am! I am me, and if you don't find me attractive, interesting, lovable, move along and don't waste my time and I won't waste yours! I want a man who wants a real woman, not an air-brushed unrealistic barbie doll.
Rachel, I feel the same way. I very rarely wear makeup. I don't use nail polish. I don't wear a lot of jewelry--just earrings & maybe a cross for a necklace. I certainly want to look my best & I will go up a level when out on a special occasion, but for 99% of the time, what you see is what you get. My heart is pure, my character is noble, what more does a man want? A Proverbs 31 woman is what he should be seeking & if she has physical beauty, then so much the better. But look at the other aspects of a woman, not an air-brushed version of one.
May 27 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: As for me, Jerry -- I feel if I have to try to fake who I am just to catch your attention and interest, I'd rather not catch your interest at all! I am who I am! I am me, and if you don't find me attractive, interesting, lovable, move along and don't waste my time and I won't waste yours! I want a man who wants a real woman, not an air-brushed unrealistic barbie doll.
Rachel,

GENERALLY, women want to be loved for who they are, not their body shape/size, men want an attractive woman on their arm who reaffirms their ego. GENERALLY, men want to be loved for who they are, not the size of their wallet; women want a man who is the primary wage earner and can provide enough income for the family so they can afford to live comfortably.

Thank the Lord we at CM are all Christians and therefore do not "generalize" because we put our faith in Him and NOT one another.
May 27 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: Rachel,

GENERALLY, women want to be loved for who they are, not their body shape/size, men want an attractive woman on their arm who reaffirms their ego. GENERALLY, men want to be loved for who they are, not the size of their wallet; women want a man who is the primary wage earner and can provide enough income for the family so they can afford to live comfortably.

Thank the Lord we at CM are all Christians and therefore do not "generalize" because we put our faith in Him and NOT one another.
She wasn't generalizing; she was responding to my question, which referenced a specific subset of the population of men.

May 27 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said:

Seriously, people's (particularly the male gender) obsession with the physical appearance of the opposite gender is at a very unhealthy level on this site (I haven't been on any other dating site, so I can't compare). One day (when I was supposed to be doing my taxes) I randomly viewed females profiles who had an "attractive" head shot photo and then viewed their other photos. 99.9% of the time these "attractive" female members had lots of "likes", especially the photos of them dressed or looking more seductive. Then I viewed photos of female members who had "less attractive" initial head shot photos and no seductive looking photos and they had no "likes" on their photos. Imagine that!?!





Of course men are visual creatures, but with the over abundance of porn (be it soft, like underwear ads, or hard) their minds have been distorted so badly that I don't have much hope for them, and this is coming from a mom of two twenty-something year old young men.



When I read about your CM random research, I thought I'd look at my "likes". Don't know if you qualify me as one of your "attractive" head shots or not (and I'm not wanting to know), but here's the scoop on likes and my pics:

#1 viewed is a tie, at 6 each
My profile pic tied with a pic showing a Stand Up For Religious Freedom sign (from a rally I attended w/my youngest)
(it seems the gents of CM like when us Catholic ladies stand united with our Church)

Second viewed was another tie, with 5 each
My school pic (very chaste) from 2012 tied with my sky diving adventure

Third viewed at 4 views
A pizza accidentally cooked upside down (one of my kids being the chef)




May 27 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: So ladies, if you want a man to "like" your photos and increase the chances of him contacting you, display photos of yourself in a seductive outfit, or at least a seductive pose (you know, the pouty face with the big lips). If you aren't comfortable with your physical appearance on the original photo, let me know. I can alter it so you look like a movie star and then you will have all kinds of messages/emotes.





sorry Not good advice.
May 27 new
Hi Jerry, One never knows if a man will be a good husband or father. One never knows how long one will be talking to a man in general, let alone anything else. The online world has made many women feel like a list or collage of body parts or like a part of a "catalog of women" for men to peruse. It is not a good feeling. I am tired of it and tired of being part of it. Not having pictures does nto help the problem either. I am not one who would want to do glamour shots. I always thought those were silly. I prefer to be natural and to be myself. If that is not enough, then oh well. I barely wear any makeup- only for the photos!
May 27 new
(quote) Wendy-387654 said: Not good advice.
I agree. I would not follow that advice. I don't think you meant for us to followit Joan... I would not follow it..... not for any other reason than I don't like those types of shots and I would save "looking alluring" for my husband in private. Maybe that is saying too much! ashamed boggled shocked
May 27 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: So ladies, if you want a man to "like" your photos and increase the chances of him contacting you, display photos of yourself in a seductive outfit, or at least a seductive pose (you know, the pouty face with the big lips). If you aren't comfortable with your physical appearance on the original photo, let me know. I can alter it so you look like a movie star and then you will have all kinds of messages/emotes.

Lastly, for those who don't know how to "pose" for the camera to get your "best features" I have some tips for you as well.
Joan, I hope you will not be following your own advice.

I think that every man would want his lady to look and dress her best, given the occasion. I would also hope that it would be reciprocal. Please don't tell me that women don't look at a man's appearance! But if you think that men are really as shallow as you imply I would suggest you do some more research.

Oh, and those that in fact do just that and nothing more, they soon find out how deep looks really go. I am referring to both men and women.

I have been on this site but a very short time and I have looked through my share of photos, especially in the first few days. I would say that I probably clicked a "like" on one quarter of them. And come to think about it I don't recall any photos really being inappropriate or seductive.

Me having done so does not / should not be construed as even an interest. I was/am simply paying a complement.

I like it when a woman posts a clear close up and I can as if look into the eyes. Then also, who doesn't like a great smile? To me, a woman's body shot indicates that she is comfortable with who she is. And because I have children, I like a woman who dares to share pictures of hers or photos of things that interest her.

Now, most women to whom I may have indicated a like of her photos I did not write to. Those that I wanted to know more about I did. There was no "lusting" in any single situation.

What interests me more is always what is written in the profile.

FWIW, beyond this site, I will on occasion complement my female coworkers on how they dress and none has ever thought of me lusting after them. Most are married. No I don't do it all the time, that WOULD be creepy. So here is an example: A woman gets all dressed up because right after work she will be going out for a special occasion, I will usually complement her.

Why not allow us men to give a complement when its deserved? Dear Lord, if a man cannot so much as look at a woman without being accused of lusting, then those ladies all better start putting on some head-to-toe potato sacks, preferably black ;)




May 27 new
(quote) John-971967 said: Joan, I hope you will not be following your own advice.

I think that every man would want his lady to look and dress her best, given the occasion. I would also hope that it would be reciprocal. Please don't tell me that women don't look at a man's appearance! But if you think that men are really as shallow as you imply I would suggest you do some more research.

Oh, and those that in fact do just that and nothing more, they soon find out how deep looks really go. I am referring to both men and women.

I have been on this site but a very short time and I have looked through my share of photos, especially in the first few days. I would say that I probably clicked a "like" on one quarter of them. And come to think about it I don't recall any photos really being inappropriate or seductive.

Me having done so does not / should not be construed as even an interest. I was/am simply paying a complement.

I like it when a woman posts a clear close up and I can as if look into the eyes. Then also, who doesn't like a great smile? To me, a woman's body shot indicates that she is comfortable with who she is. And because I have children, I like a woman who dares to share pictures of hers or photos of things that interest her.

Now, most women to whom I may have indicated a like of her photos I did not write to. Those that I wanted to know more about I did. There was no "lusting" in any single situation.

What interests me more is always what is written in the profile.

FWIW, beyond this site, I will on occasion complement my female coworkers on how they dress and none has ever thought of me lusting after them. Most are married. No I don't do it all the time, that WOULD be creepy. So here is an example: A woman gets all dressed up because right after work she will be going out for a special occasion, I will usually complement her.

Why not allow us men to give a complement when its deserved? Dear Lord, if a man cannot so much as look at a woman without being accused of lusting, then those ladies all better start putting on some head-to-toe potato sacks, preferably black ;)




John, Thanks for posting. I appreciate reading your comments and your important contribution to this thread. Photos are very important in trying to find someone and yes we ladies do look at mens photos also. It is very important for women to accept a compliment and for women and men here to acknowledge the positive aspects of sharing photos along with all of the various things you mentioned here. We have to always take care in the forums not to come across as too one sided in how we post and to not come across sounding angry at the other gender.. I am speaking to all of the members in saying that, both women and men. We have to take care how we write and not denigrate a sincere compliment.....!
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