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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

May 30th 2013 new
(quote) Marian-83994 said: that someone is more involved with and attached to and interested in your photos than in you? Please share your thoughts on this issue. I think it gets boring to be kind of a phantom behind the photo and I am about to lodge a complaint to persons who do this about this type of focus. I have been asked for more photos, told they will miss them if we go to regular email ect. I suppose there is something great to be flattered about in that- NOT! I think we are made for human contact not for photo sharing. I don't feel flattered by finding out that someone would rather fantasize than get to know a real human being.
This certainly wasn't a problem for me. In fact, some people strongly suggested that I remove all of my photos...... rolling eyes eyebrow faint laughing
May 31st 2013 new
Ray I am shocked. shocked
Jun 26th 2013 new
(quote) Jacqueline-556574 said: It's a good point, Marian. I read one very good post that stated that there should be more photos of the individual, and less of other things on the profile. This may be true, in order to give a good well-rounded visual statement, but the other aspects of a person's life are also important, very important, in fact. For example, if someone has children, they might want to include their children in their profile, as you can bet that the children will be a big part of that CM member's life. Also hobbies and lifestyle should be included. Those are basics in having a workable relationship with someone, even a friendship. But as far as viewing photos, as long as CM is not being used as a viewing catalogue, I don't see anything wrong with continued viewing of the same photos. After all, doing that, I think, may invoke a sense of certainty.
as a scout leader I have found that photos of children can be problematic. This(CM) is not an open community, but we were cautioned(BSA) about using identifiable photos- seems the world is not as safe as I thought
Jun 26th 2013 new
(quote) Marian-83994 said: that someone is more involved with and attached to and interested in your photos than in you? Please share your thoughts on this issue. I think it gets boring to be kind of a phantom behind the photo and I am about to lodge a complaint to persons who do this about this type of focus. I have been asked for more photos, told they will miss them if we go to regular email ect. I suppose there is something great to be flattered about in that- NOT! I think we are made for human contact not for photo sharing. I don't feel flattered by finding out that someone would rather fantasize than get to know a real human being.
I feel like sometimes people did just message me because of my photos, and some people have actually admitted that. Its not even necessarily because I looked good in my photos or anything but sometimes they just found my photos interesting. It sucks because in conversations its obvious they didn't even bother to read my profile, and they were clearly interested in my physical aspects rather than who I am as a person. I'd rather talk to a wall.
Jun 26th 2013 new
Most seem happy to keep everything online.
Jun 26th 2013 new
(quote) Marian-83994 said: I think some may think I should be flattered. But I am not flattered.
You shouldn't be flattered; both of those men are acting extremely creepy.
Jun 26th 2013 new
(quote) Marian-83994 said: I think some may think I should be flattered. But I am not flattered.
*I meant to write: You shouldn't be flattered; you should be running the other way and not looking back; these guys behavior is creepy!
Jun 26th 2013 new
(quote) Angela-374523 said: When I first joined CM, I did not have photos. I had a thoughtfully-written profile, a quiz and a personality test completed. I wanted someone to like the real me, my personality, and not what I looked like. I want to be married. As a Catholic, I believe that marriage is something sacred and unless there are some serious mitigating circumstances, it should be for life.

Over my lifetime, my appearance will change. My basic personality will not. I may learn a few new things and gain some perspective before everything is all said and done, but I will not all of the sudden start liking rap music or hate going to the library or whatever. My personality will be enduring. I wanted a gentleman to get to know the real me online before seeing me.

What did that get me on this site? "Men are visual". Really?? On a Catholic site, it doesnt matter what I say or how I behave, or what I believe, just show us what you look like so that you can be judged based upon appearances. Or no photos mean you must be hiding something ... like gross obesity or a really ugly face. Thanks. Youre a perfect specimen of a GQ cover model male yourself.

I have resigned myself to having a few photos up so that folks have a sense of who they are talking to, but I would rather have a gentleman hear what I am saying than just look at me while I am saying something.



Angela,

Yes, men are romantically visual. We are not only just visual, but that is a component, because God made us that way. And that is more important and holy than you think. God gave us our bodies as a gift. To not put up photos is to hide part of who you are, the gift that God made you to be, body and spirit together! It's the wrong way to combat the evil of men only wanting your body.

Women are definitely more romantically emotional, but also touch is important too- and that comes through the body. We cannot love without our bodies. And just because Vogue is too stupid and conceited to think you are not beautiful enough to be on their cover does not mean that a man, the man God leads to you, thinks otherwise. Yes, bodies get older and less "attractive" according to the world. That does not mean that a man is going to find your body less attractive or beautiful as you two grow in love. If he truly is a holy man he will love you body, mind and spirit, not just your mind or spirit. Regardless of what the world thinks, you will be the most beautiful woman in his world, body and spirit as long as you are together.

Yes some men get hung up only on photos. That is wrong. But please don't think that your body is unnecessary to understand who you "really are."

Peace in Christ,

Matt
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