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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Oct 12th 2013 new
Hi, I also have an autistic son with behavior issues. Medication has helped my son a lot, and thankfully he willingly takes it.

I don't have much advice for your situation, but I can recommend some Facebook support groups. I love Single Mothers Who Have Children with Autism and Autism Parents Support & Discussion Group. For fun, I like Autism with a Glass of Wine. wink

I wish I could offer more help, but I don't know what to say in your specific situation. I hope that you'll at least join these or other support groups. It really does help to talk to other parents who "get it." Having online support is especially convenient since you can reach out whenever you need it or have time instead of having to wait for a regular meeting.

God bless!
Oct 12th 2013 new
Is there an agency for persons with disabilities? It's called APD in Florida. They can help in these situations.
The psychiatrist may be able to recommend a short acting medication that you can put between cheek and tongue when he is getting really worked up.
Oct 12th 2013 new
aba therapy is partially funded in british columbia [every bit helped but
I remortgaged several times]
so hopefully that is happening also
to treat these kids
Jan 13th 2014 new
If everything has failed perhaps try no sugar includes no corn syrup. How replace pop and juice with water, fake cereal with oatmeal plain and everything else with vegetables.

Simple maybe gods plan for all of us
Jan 13th 2014 new
(quote) Kerry-970208 said: I have a 13 year old son with Asperger's syndrome (a milder form of autism) that has always been extremely difficult to handle--incredible stamina for hanging on and refusing to do what you say for HOURS even when small, such as you put him to bed, he got up, you put him back to bed, he got up again, and this would go on for 4 to 5 hours.

Now, we have tried everything with him--therapists, neurologists, psychiatrists galore, school interventionists, calling the police, looking for in patient hospitaization to get his meds stable (which he often refuses to take) only to find out that since he only has CHIPs insurance, no one will take him as an inpatient unless he is actively homicidal or suicidal..

Now, my husband is deceased. My son is four inches taller and outweighs me. I cannot get him to take his meds or do anything. I have two older boys, now grown, and never had this much trouble with either one. This is a 24-7-365 fight over everything, and I have lost all control.. Trying to regain control over a 13 year old very strong and almost always very angry is turning into an impossible task. Taking away priviliges doesn't work--he has few as it is, as we are poor, and he doesn't seem to care of he loses them. Nothing motivates him except seeing me cry.

Please help!

Kerry

Dear Kerry,

I am sorry I don't have anything much to offer but prayers to offer.

This age is difficult for all boys especially. My son at this age began running cross country and loved it. I asked him about it one day and he said, "Mom, I don't know why I'm just mad all the time unless I run." His male coaches/teachers had already warned me that as boys enter their teen years they are just angry all the time. . . part of the hormonal storm.

I am including the links below strictly for some possible information. In my research, I have also been exploring the connection between parasites and human immune responses. The Hygiene Hypothesis is a powerful little hypothesis first proposed by Strachan in looking at allergies among children in different areas. The idea is that in Western developed countries we have contributed to the incidence of autoimmune disorders (uniquely a Western world problem) because we are too clean basically. This hypothesis has been expanded multiple times and now includes not only exposure to certain bacteria but exposure to parasites as well. We have a very long evolutionary history with helminths (intestinal parasites), which have pretty much been eradicated in Western countries. Needless to say, Helminthic therapies are being used with some success to treat a number of autoimmune diseases and recently there has been interest in a connection between helminthic therapies and autism. Helminths modulate human immune responses, especially in relation to inflammatory reactions, which many autoimmune diseases have in common.

I am in no way saying helminthic therapy will help, but it is a potential new treatment option being investigated. The links below will provide some more information and i can forward more scholarly articles if you wish. I came across this story in my research. Please note I am not a physician, I am a researcher, neither do I have much experience with autism, nor any specialty associated with autism, but this may or may not be helpful in your search for options.

www.the-scientist.com
autismtso.com
autoimmunetherapies.com.



Jan 13th 2014 new

First, Kerry, hug hug .


I, too, was a Spec Ed teacher with Jr. High students several years ago. As Joan and others have recommended, become active with the online support groups, or any in your community. Our local one was CHAD.


To piggyback on what Lauren has said, physical activity served many of my students well. One student with violent outbursts found marching band the best antidote. His mind loved the detail of the music, and his body was calmed by the patterned steps of the march. He'd practice for hours in his backyard, and was tired out enough to sleep....

I'll say some Praying Praying for you and your son.

Jan 13th 2014 new
my son huge hugely involved in vocational training and active sports too
Jan 13th 2014 new
As most here understand already, auxiliary issues can affect success of the physical exercise...but it is highly recommended. That said, in behaviorally confrontational boys...often over the top exercise can trigger sensory integration issues...so be careful to watch for pushing it to the limits in terms of sweating and overheating...in my BD room the adolescent males were wery easily zoned into anger moreso after TOO much angst and heated bball/f'ball even just at recess...20 mins...those with autism sometimes just don't stop...and they go too far where they cannot come back and cannot cool down... We here do all PE and recess outside...and the high temperatures/bright sunlight are sometimes triggers for these guys and environment compound these issues for our SIDS sensitivity guys...so if you have an overheater...maybe find indoor exercise...bowling is a good one because it's focused, climate controlled, competitive, no contact and individualized skill YET can be social...which is so hard for these guys...because it could beateam activity! Hope this helps (ESE/VE/BD experienced but no expert here!)
Jan 13th 2014 new

Kerry,

It maybe his diet. What is he eating?

My sister has a son with severe autism. Now 21 years and 6' 2", he will never have the opportunity to go out and live independently and obtain a career.

The upside is that they have changed his diet from sugar, soda, fried & processed foods to whole foods, fruits, vegetables and grilled meat, poultry, fish, etc. Included is that he is not able to eat anything after 630PM. This change in eating time, allows his body to digest and breakdown the nutrients he consumed throughout the day.

Less hyper, more calm and cooperative. Behavior and mood swings have changed dramatically. Consult with a nutritionist or web search: healthy diets for children with autism/Asperger's disease.

Don't give up! He NEEDS you to help him build a healthy body & mind.

God Bless,

Rose


Jan 14th 2014 new
(quote) Kerry-970208 said: I have a 13 year old son with Asperger's syndrome (a milder form of autism) that has always been extremely difficult to handle--incredible stamina for hanging on and refusing to do what you say for HOURS even when small, such as you put him to bed, he got up, you put him back to bed, he got up again, and this would go on for 4 to 5 hours.

Now, we have tried everything with him--therapists, neurologists, psychiatrists galore, school interventionists, calling the police, looking for in patient hospitaization to get his meds stable (which he often refuses to take) only to find out that since he only has CHIPs insurance, no one will take him as an inpatient unless he is actively homicidal or suicidal..

Now, my husband is deceased. My son is four inches taller and outweighs me. I cannot get him to take his meds or do anything. I have two older boys, now grown, and never had this much trouble with either one. This is a 24-7-365 fight over everything, and I have lost all control.. Trying to regain control over a 13 year old very strong and almost always very angry is turning into an impossible task. Taking away priviliges doesn't work--he has few as it is, as we are poor, and he doesn't seem to care of he loses them. Nothing motivates him except seeing me cry.

Please help!

Kerry

I've thought about your post all day. I don't know if you have any horse therapy places near where you live. At St. Gregory's Abbey in Shawnee, Fr. Dennis (who has long since passed away) began a therapeutic riding program for children with disabilities. I worked with an association of churches that came together to provide a summer day camp for children with disabilities -- cognitive and physical -- including one little boy Jason who was autistic (the sum of my experience with autism). We took some of the campers to St. Gregory's once a week to work with the horses. It was the only time, I ever saw Jason smile, excited and speaking -- during those excursions and after. St. Gregory's still has the program housed at the Charham Arena in Shawnee. But, a quick search surprised me with a number of other therapeutic riding programs at a number of universities around the country. I don't know if that is a possibility or not, but it might help?
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