This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.
Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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I don't have much advice for your situation, but I can recommend some Facebook support groups. I love Single Mothers Who Have Children with Autism and Autism Parents Support & Discussion Group. For fun, I like Autism with a Glass of Wine.
I wish I could offer more help, but I don't know what to say in your specific situation. I hope that you'll at least join these or other support groups. It really does help to talk to other parents who "get it." Having online support is especially convenient since you can reach out whenever you need it or have time instead of having to wait for a regular meeting.
The psychiatrist may be able to recommend a short acting medication that you can put between cheek and tongue when he is getting really worked up.
I remortgaged several times]
so hopefully that is happening also
to treat these kids