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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
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Jun 5th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: Well said!!!!

I find any blanket statements in the profile as to what a man demands, expects, or will tolerate are an immediate "turn off".
Just follow up on what Doug and Marge have said (and I hope I don't get kicked out of the 45+ room):

Sorry to disagree, but on the secular sites, some blanket statements may be the only way to weed out what you do not want. I don't know anyone who enjoys having their time wasted corresponding with someone who is looking for something very different than what they are looking for.

I have found that those who browse a lot and send a lot of random communications on secular sites are almost always exclusively the hook-up seekers. You look at their profile after they have sent you a message, and they are pretty up-front about what they want, and it is not the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony in a Catholic Church.

A dating profile is no place for false advertising and no place for getting suckered into buying something that you don't believe in. Having said that, there are ways to sound friendly, be clear about what you are seeking, and demonstrate that you are a well-rounded individual with a variety of interests.
Jun 5th 2013 new
I agree with all the chastity stuff, Lina, but what's all the mularkey about bathing?
Jun 5th 2013 new
biggrin I'm getting so much activity on CM that I needed to thin out the herd.....my guess is my post on bathing will do it
Jun 5th 2013 new
(quote) Angela-374523 said: I have found that those who browse a lot and send a lot of random communications on secular sites are almost always exclusively the hook-up seekers. You look at their profile after they have sent you a message, and they are pretty up-front about what they want, and it is not the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony in a Catholic Church.
Not looking for a serious, reverent Altar Date? Pretty good Book Lady. Keep posting.
Jun 5th 2013 new
(quote) Cynthia-875784 said: Since I haven't had much (actually any) luck on CM, I thought I'd branch out to other dating sites. Against the advice of a friend, I add the following to my profile:

I am a devout Catholic and believe in celibacy until marriage. I'm not a prude or frigid. I love cuddling, kissing, hugs, and holding hands. I just think that the physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy of love-making should be reserved until after the I do's have been said.

I'd keep it, but phrase it differently. Perhaps something like:

I'm a devout, practicing Catholic. I believe it all. I order my life to follow the moral and spiritual precepts of the Church. Looking for someone who can not only accept that but also support me in my endeavors.

A lot depends on how much time you have on your hands. Do you have the time to wade through a lot of junky contacts hoping for a diamond in the rough? Or would you prefer just a small handful of high-quality contacts? The more specific you make your profile, the more targeted (and more infrequent) your results will be.

A lot also depends on which site you are on. Some sites are pretty junky. Too many players. Strong statements about "No Players" may be necessary. Paid sites are better . . . sometimes. I've read statements from women who claimed that they had endured "men pushing for premarital monkey business" on paid Christian dating sites.

Finding a devout, practicing Catholic (or even an amenable Christian) man on a secular dating site may be difficult. A significant fraction of CM members are "5 of 7" believers. The fraction on secular sites will be much, MUCH higher. I imagine that it is the trade-off between large ponds stocked with many low-quality fish versus small ponds with a few higher-quality fish.
Jun 6th 2013 new
Thank you, Angela, for your thoughtful post, and since you disagreed with me, I vote to kick you out! Kidding.

I agree with you completely regarding "false advertising." I only hope I did not sound like that is what I was advocating. Not at all. What I tried to say in my usual clumsy way is that a profile that accentuates the positive is more attractive to more people, than is a profile that includes every negative. I prefer to let the other person decide what I have that is negative - and really, the only way to know that is by communicating one on one, whether online or by telephone. In my opinion, it's okay to abruptly quit communicating with someone who clearly tried to mislead.

Good luck. God bless.
Jun 7th 2013 new
If that's what you believe in I don't see a problem in stating it. Personally I wish more people were upfront.
Jun 7th 2013 new
I question myself about this in every relationship
Jun 8th 2013 new
(quote) Cynthia-875784 said:
So - should I leave that paragraph out of a profile and hope that I might meet someone who will like me enough to agree to honor my values if/when the issue comes up? I don't want to lead anyone on or appear that I'm playing games. I also want to avoid the argument that I've had with others. You know the one. "You've been married and have kids so you obviously aren't a virgin. So why wait for marriage? How can you wait since you've obviously already had sex?"

Thought and opinions as well as sharing your experiences regarding this are all welcome.


Leave it in. It will spare you from wasting your time on the wrong types of men.



Jun 8th 2013 new
(quote) Jack-752986 said: I'd keep it, but phrase it differently. Perhaps something like:
I'm a devout, practicing Catholic. I believe it all. I order my life to follow the moral and spiritual precepts of the Church. Looking for someone who can not only accept that but also support me in my endeavors.


Excellent revision Jack.
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