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Long Distance Relationships

Jun 2nd 2013 new
Hi everyone, I have been away from Catholic Match for a while, I gave up after a year and got a bit disheartened. However, having just turned 40 (a very nice age to be), I decided to come back. I am from the UK and while I believe there are many good Catholic men in my own country it seems the old saying 'there are plenty of fish in the ocean' only applies when I expand my search to the other side of the Atlantic! I have lived in Canada (Toronto) and loved it so would be willing to travel for a relationship.
Is there anyone who has negotiated long distance relationships? How does it work? What are the problems? Is it worth it? Is it difficult to find people who are willing for long distance relationships?
I'd love to meet someone in the uk but the population of 'never married' Catholic men of my age here is pretty low. In fact when I first did the test I was given a grand total of three options!!!
thanks everyone, looking forward to connecting with you.
Pia

Jun 2nd 2013 new
Frank has a post about his LDR under wedding and marriage prep.
Jun 4th 2013 new
Depends if you rely on man or Gpd to provide. Man, as in kind, to do the work and communicate/ rosary Clair
Jun 9th 2013 new
Pia, WELCOME back and welcome to the Forums..
my LDR experience is very limited, however i did communicate and meet a nice young lady who lived about 1400 miles away.
One of the biggest challenges, in my opinion, in getting to know someone a long distance away is how much time you spend communicating... while Phone and Email is good in getting to know the basics about someone you're interested in.. i think it lacks the feedback you get when you're able to meet face to face and see how a person responds to you and they communicate in natural settings. So if both are able to travel and meet each other and continue to do that on a regular basis to know each other better i think it can work.. otherwise i think LDRs are a bit difficult. Praying theheart
Jun 12th 2013 new

As a general rule (for myself), I do not support the idea of long distance relationships.
You want to experience, know the person, not just qualities. Qualities are emphasized
in email, phone, etc.. Hopefully this site serves as an introduction phase.
There is much to be said for witnessing, observing how someone lives their life in its
practicalities.





Jun 26th 2013 new
I think long distance relationships can work out, although, at some point, one spouse is going to have to move closer to the other. . . keep in mind: my grandparents, in 1948-49 were considered to have a long-distance relationship because he lived 22 miles from her. . . .and she didn't drive, so she couldn't even borrow a car. . . . fortunately, roller skating was popular and her friends and siblings liked to drive 15 miles south to the nearest roller rink, 8 miles from his hometown, where he was an employee. . . .

That aside. . . . during the World War II era, men and women often wrote letters. This happened in other eras, like the case of my grandparents, where the distance was enough that long distance calls just didn't happen, so a letter was sent, two or three a week. In the wars, or when men/women were in the service, letters were the main form of communication. While you can't gather all the character of a person, or your interactions in e-mail, for chemistry, I place a great deal of importance on the written word, when done honestly, as an indicator of a person's intellect, values, and character, and sometimes their personality (depending on how restrained they are in their expression) as well.

I'm embarking on one and am somewhat excited.


Jun 26th 2013 new
(quote) Lynn-189934 said: I think long distance relationships can work out, although, at some point, one spouse is going to have to move closer to the other. . . keep in mind: my grandparents, in 1948-49 were considered to have a long-distance relationship because he lived 22 miles from her. . . .and she didn't drive, so she couldn't even borrow a car. . . . fortunately, roller skating was popular and her friends and siblings liked to drive 15 miles south to the nearest roller rink, 8 miles from his hometown, where he was an employee. . . .

That aside. . . . during the World War II era, men and women often wrote letters. This happened in other eras, like the case of my grandparents, where the distance was enough that long distance calls just didn't happen, so a letter was sent, two or three a week. In the wars, or when men/women were in the service, letters were the main form of communication. While you can't gather all the character of a person, or your interactions in e-mail, for chemistry, I place a great deal of importance on the written word, when done honestly, as an indicator of a person's intellect, values, and character, and sometimes their personality (depending on how restrained they are in their expression) as well.

I'm embarking on one and am somewhat excited.


I completely agree, Lynn! I think long distance relationships can also help build character and trust, and they really help prove just how much you are willing stay committed. Though they are certainly difficult, they are certainly not impossible, and I am completely open to one.

Best of luck to you, Lynn, as you embark on yours!
Jun 27th 2013 new
I am in a LDR with someone I met here on CM. We live in the same country but miles apart. In fact we are 1500 kms apart. However we have met when he flew for a long weekend last month and again for another long weekend this month. The rest of the time we communicate by emails, phone calls and SMS and we Skype nearly every night. We share readings, sermons and we have got to know each other as we dialogue on important issues.

I am blessed and this would not have occurred if we were both closed to LDRs. One of us will move and this will depend on our situation after discerning what is best for all of us.

Early on, I too felt that there were hardly any singles in my age group and situation in Australia. But with God nothing is impossible. I wish you all the very best.
Jul 4th 2013 new
Hi Pia, welcome back to CM!

I've been in a few long distance relationships, and based on those experiences I think it is possible for them to work, but I think in general they're just more challenging than local relationships. Ultimately in my experience, a long-distance relationship that didn't work out would probably not have worked out anyway even if it was local, but it took me quite a bit longer to figure that out that it would have otherwise, because of the limited in-person contact.

Also, I've personally found that even if I've communicated with someone a lot by email, phone, or Skype prior to meeting them, when I do actually meet them in person, it's like being in a room with a stranger all over again - I feel like I kind of have a disconnect between my mental level of comfort and my physical level of comfort, which take a while to balance out again once I've spent some time with them. Because of this, like others have done, I would recommend meeting him sooner rather than later, to avoid creating too much of this kind of disconnect.

I wouldn't discount long-distance relationships, but watching out for a couple of these pitfalls will definitely be helpful in the long run!

Best of luck - I hope you meet that someone fabulous on this site! :-)
Jul 5th 2013 new
When I joined CM ,I joined knowing I would probably have to extend my search to overseas.
As I've traveled overseas by myself a few times before ,that part is no big deal-gotta do what ya gotta do.
I agree that the sooner the better so that you can decipher whether there is that connection between yourself and the other.Could be the biggest,most important investment of your life-finding that one person God has in store for you.I think it's absolutely crucial to be yourself with every message,chat,skype,phone call before hand from day one so that there are no surprises when you do meet!I'm sure if you are open to God running the show, things will fall into place. smile
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