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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jun 6th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: 2. My reaction when I read a man's profile that says he wants someone attractive: "Oh, and are you so hot?" Generally, guys who write this don't impress me as being good-looking themselves.....
You and I must be looking at the same fellas. There was one profile that listed himself as "attractive" and "physically fit" . . . maybe when he was 20, but the profile picture spoke a different story, at least to me.


Jun 6th 2013 new
Looks are subjective to the one doing the looking. One of the drawbacks of an internet dating site, is that if we (male and female) do not find something attractive in the profile picture, we move on. But if they sat next to us in Church and we had a chance to interact with them on a different level, we may see them in a different light.
Jun 6th 2013 new
Thanks to you all for posting...any further thoughts are welcome. :)
Jun 6th 2013 new
Date someone blind and remove all doubt it's your personality!
Jun 6th 2013 new
(quote) Julie-362086 said: Smart girl Naomi, and smart Mom...
teaching her children by example what TRUE love really is.
I've experienced the same as you,concerning dating...even the most handsome men slip down a few notches by what they will say, or don't say (I'm big on manners) do, or not do (be a gentleman, open the door for me, don't walk in front of me!)
There is nothing wrong with needing to be physically attracted enough to someone in order to want to meet them (on CM)
or date them... but I'm like you...one thing he has to be, is tall.
Definitely taller than me. :-)


I agree with your comments, but most especially about the man being TALL! Since I am 5'11" , it can be a problem finding someone who is tall, in the right age range & who loves the Lord! Add to that, if he's within driving distance or open to an LDR. Wow! that's a pretty big order.
Jun 6th 2013 new
I just find it so off-putting when someone describes themselves as good-looking or handsome. You don't need to say it, we can see it for ourselves! The few guys that I have talked to who felt the need to include a physical description of themselves in their profile were ended up being far too arrogant for my liking.

Yes, looks are important. You have to have some sort of physical attraction to someone. What keeps me around is a good heart, intelligence, and desire for a good Catholic family.
Jun 6th 2013 new
(quote) Tammy-781955 said: I keep finding guys who list "physical attractivenss" in their profiles. Does this mean 'beauty'? If so, what happens when the beauty fades? I understood that finding a soul-mate was more than that. Your thoughts please....
I will speak for myself, so everytime I say "a guy", or "we", I am referring to myself.
The first thing that attracts a guy is the visual, the physical, but that statement still doesn't mean anything and needs to be fully qualified. The figure is the first thing in the physical and what a guy likes depends on his cultural background. For instance, US-born guys may like "model-material" women (I don't know, I am just guessing) while Caribbean-born guys tend to like fuller-figure or voluptuous women, basically the type that was considered beautiful back then (Venus of Millo, and a lot of women in the French paintings).The face can be ordinary.

Secondly, once a guy is attracted, something needs to keep him, and that's where the woman inside the physical envelope comes in. At the top of the list of qualities a guy wants in a woman is faithfulness. A woman can swear up and down that she is faithful, but a guy will observe for a certain period of time until he knows that's true, because nothing makes a guy feel humiliated, weird, foolish, hurt, more than to learn secondhand that his woman has been "out and about" and to be able to ascertain that that is true. Once a guy knows he can trust a woman, then the next thing he will be looking for is how argumentative that woman is, because guys don't like to "talk" too much. That's for the medium-term keepers. The long-term keepers are how well that woman backs him up, stands up for him, how dedicated to the relationship she is, and Oh!, how smart or brainy she is.

Now things do not always work that smoothly. Some guys will get caught up in the physical, and look at the more essential qualities (and sometimes find them wanting) when it is way too late, after they are already married. This may be the true especially if that is their first relationship, or if they have pre-marital sex with that woman and they confuse that with love.
Jun 6th 2013 new
(quote) Pauline-931463 said: Looks are not permanent. I am attracted to the inner beauty in the person, someone who is accepting of himself, someone comfortable in his own skin, someone with a genuine warm smile, someone who has his heart on God's kingdom. I am attracted to people's eyes - I see warmth and kindness in them. I see the heart of the person and that is what attracts me.

I think we are attracted to the entire package - not just the cover but the contents also. And most often the contents flow through the packaging.
Me too, Pauline :)
Jun 6th 2013 new
(quote) Megan-650240 said: I just find it so off-putting when someone describes themselves as good-looking or handsome. You don't need to say it, we can see it for ourselves! The few guys that I have talked to who felt the need to include a physical description of themselves in their profile were ended up being far too arrogant for my liking.

Yes, looks are important. You have to have some sort of physical attraction to someone. What keeps me around is a good heart, intelligence, and desire for a good Catholic family.
How funny, and how true, Megan!
I think our men here need coaching!
I get repeat emotes from the same guys, with just a smiley or hello and no comment or question for me...or...they just keep viewing my profile over and over. I must be very interesting, lol.



Jun 6th 2013 new
I think that appearance becomes an issue on dating sites. Most people tend to look at a photo before determining whether to read a profile; however, I have rarely met a person, myself included, who actually looks exactly like their pictures. Certain physical aspects are important, like hygiene and dress, which are controllable aspects, and I do tend to determine who I am and am not interested in based on those. However, I would not judge a potential match based on an uncontrollable physical feature. I want someone who is God's match for me, not my own superficial match for me (I have done that and it didn't work out so well). I think that as a relationship grows physical attraction also grows.

I would not want to be with someone who is shallow. Looks change overtime and based on life events. I desire to marry and have children, preferably 3 or 4. Chances are, if this happens, my figure is going to go. If a man is with me only because he thinks I am skinny, then he is probably not going to be all that happy when I am nine months pregnant with our 3rd child.

I joined this site, because I was actually looking for CM gatherings (unfortunately, I have yet to find one in my area) because I wanted the opportunity to actually meet potential matches in person versus through the internet.
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