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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jun 9th 2013 new
When I don't reply, it's often because the male in question did not bother to read my profile, wrote something akin to "Your pretty" (my pretty what? Lol!), and is as old as my Dad. They often do not match me in moral beliefs, politics, or interests. Why would I respond to someone who doesn't show me enough respect to at least read my profile and contact me based on that?
Jun 9th 2013 new
(quote) Tammy-781955 said: If I get an message or emotigram from someone, I respond, even if to say I am not interested. Have heard it and appreciate knowing...

So, if you aren't doing that, what are the reasons? Just curious....

Tammy
I don't reply to someone who has clearly not read my profile. If there are contradictory interests and they are not a match in ANY way, It shows me that they have no real interest in me , , , it's insulting.
Jun 9th 2013 new
(quote) Francesca-633457 said: If the person is not a paying member they can receive a message, but are unable to read or respond to it.
Thank you, Francesca;

I have noted that same comment many times, and I always try to keep it in mind - especially if I have sent a sincere message to someone with no response.

I think it not unreasonable for CM to consider some means of indicating such "guest" users - if not on a profile, then as an automated response to a message/email sent to same... some thing like, "Note: This Guest Member - your Addressee will be unable to receive your message." either as a 'pop-up/fly-out' or system generated response.

I assume that the presence of messages to 'guest' members are visible to them as an incentive to sign up. Perhaps that incentive could be sweetened by allowing them to read one per month so that they can see that there really is a healthy community here on CM.
Jun 9th 2013 new
I think some are not paid members, so they can't answer.
Jun 9th 2013 new
(quote) David-870960 said: Thank you, Francesca;

I have noted that same comment many times, and I always try to keep it in mind - especially if I have sent a sincere message to someone with no response.
I think it not unreasonable for CM to consider some means of indicating such "guest" users - if not on a profile, then as an automated response to a message/email sent to same... some thing like, "Note: This Guest Member - your Addressee will be unable to receive your message." either as a 'pop-up/fly-out' or system generated response.

I assume that the presence of messages to 'guest' members are visible to them as an incentive to sign up. Perhaps that incentive could be sweetened by allowing them to read one per month so that they can see that there really is a healthy community here on CM.
Yep! the reason I joined was to read the message I received from the guy I had sent a "hello" to! I'm ever so glad I did. And I'm glad I discovered the forums for support when I needed it the most. wave
Jun 9th 2013 new
(quote) Anne-976912 said: I may have forgotten once
When I visit someones profile I feel a little like trespassing and I do wish there was an emoticon for 'thanks for letting me view your profile ,prayers for you on your search.
Well said, Anne! I may use your proposed emoticon statement, it would be a nice alternative to the otherwise simple indication to someone they they have been VIEWED eyepopping

I have experienced that same feeling! ESPECIALLY a few times when I have viewed a much younger woman's profile either because I could judge approximate age from one of the tiny pictures, or I've 'clicked' on a profile link because I'm still getting used to the touch pad on a Mac (a recent gift from my son after decades on Wintel machines boggled smile ) ... and one case where I opened a profile accidentally while attempting to interest my son in CM by showing him a pertinent search! (I believe I sent her an explanatory note. embarassed ) I cringe at the thought that one of these younger woman might think me a creep!

Oh, and Welcome to CM! I just learned what those little symbols are under the pictures by your forum posts. smile
Jun 9th 2013 new
I feel like I don't have an opening sometimes, I'm asked generic questions or he makes generic comments. It wouldn't flow normally, so I would feel like a jerk for simply replying "I'm not interested". : / I do feel kind of bad about it, but no catalyst for change at this point.
Jun 10th 2013 new
(quote) Doug-974859 said: Emmanuel gave a very thoughtful answer that I agree with totally. I would add that the reason I don't respond every time is, I don't really believe it would make the other person feel any better. Not really. I mean, who wants to hear, "Sorry, but I'm not interested"? You can take it as fact, that if you don't receive a response, then the other person is simply not interested. If they were, they would respond in a New York minute, I promise. Take heart. We all (I think) experience the same. It's no shame - it's just the nature of online contact.

Good luck. God bless.
Thanks for the support Doug, and I agree with what you added too, there isn't really much you can say that is going to make the person feel any better. I think you're at a much greater risk of doing more harm unintentionally by saying something you may think is reasonable, or simple, but may not be taken that way by the person. As for people not looking at profiles as Greg was pointing out a couple comments down, I think looking at a profile can unintentionally give someone false hope, if they just simply aren't attracted to the person to begin with from a physical perspective.

That's not to say that a person's personality isn't a significant factor, as it certainly is, and people who I've talked to that I thought were average looking, became significantly more attractive when I got to know them better, but people tend to find certain things/types more attractive to them then others, and in some cases may not be attracted to a particular type of person. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just how a person feels. So I think some people rather than pretending to be interested by looking at your profile, they may not look at it to avoid giving that false hope I mentioned earlier.
Jun 10th 2013 new
(quote) Joanna-615441 said: I don't reply to someone who has clearly not read my profile. If there are contradictory interests and they are not a match in ANY way, It shows me that they have no real interest in me , , , it's insulting.

I wouldn't call it insulting I think that a lot of people just look at pictures and don't really read profiles. To be fair if a profile is very long I won't always read the whole thing either. I don't respond to guys out of my stated age range because obviously they didn't ready my profile. I had one or two way back when when who asked me to reconsider my age perameters. That didn't bother me so much because it showed they did actually read it. My answer at the time was no because they were way far away or were still way older than I was comfortable with. I also don't respond to scammer or anyone who is way too forward such as someone who would say "Hey Baby we need to get to together" or "Here's my number lets talk". I tend not to respond to emotes because then you get locked into an emote conversation that never ends as many won't move beyond that and it's a waste of my time to engage in that. I'll send one or two but after that if there are no emails I move on. What I don't like is when I take the time to respond and you never hear from the person again after they where the one to make first contact I find that very rude but I've just learned to accept it as part of the internet experience and not take it personally. You can't really take anything personally here or you let yourself in for unnecessary annoyance.
Jun 10th 2013 new
I think that, because this is a site, and we haven't actually "met" in person yet, that the general consensus is that we don't owe anybody any explanations. I don't think I've ever received a message saying "I'm not interested" after sending a message or emoticon. But, the silence speaks volumes.

I don't always send a response myself, especially, as the other ladies have mentioned, when the gentleman has clearly not read my profile, and only messaged me because he liked my photos. However, I know that it's disheartening to not get any response, even a rejection, so I'm making a point to send a message to those who were kind enough to come look at my profile, because I know that some of them took the time to actually *read* it. So, yes, there's a plethora of reasons for why people don't send responses, but don't feel like that means you need to leave CM. If it's God's will, we'll all find that special someone in His own time. :)
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