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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jun 10th 2013 new
(quote) Laura-857740 said: I think some are not paid members, so they can't answer.
Laura this is not actually true and it is one of the most mis-perpepetuated reasons that I have see over the years. For what ever reason many, many many people do not want to subscribe until they either want to initiate contact with one or more people OR they want to read & possibly respond to someone who messaged them. In over 14 years of working in CatholicMatch I have NEVER been told by a single person who either of these two things.

"I saw someone on CatholicMatch I really wanted to talk with but I simply refused to subscribe in order to try and meet them.

"I go a message from a [guy] / [women] and I wanted to respond to them but I simply refused to subscribe."

The harsh reality for people (including myself when I was single) is that if someone doesn't respond to you they are either not interested or simply pre-occumpied with other things in their life or a combination of the two. While that can be tough to take it can often be liberating because you can quickly move on to someone who is interested.
Jun 10th 2013 new
I feel I don,t know enough or maybe not a good match and afraid of rejection.
Jun 10th 2013 new
(quote) Jack-752986 said: and then there's:

praying out, riding the fence line
just flakey just a turkey just crazy
sick
car accident
dead
Haha! Those are great, Jack...but my favorite..."out riding the fence line" !
Hey, you forgot..."hiding"!
Jun 11th 2013 new
(quote) Bernadette-874299 said: I think that, because this is a site, and we haven't actually "met" in person yet, that the general consensus is that we don't owe anybody any explanations. I don't think I've ever received a message saying "I'm not interested" after sending a message or emoticon. But, the silence speaks volumes.

I don't always send a response myself, especially, as the other ladies have mentioned, when the gentleman has clearly not read my profile, and only messaged me because he liked my photos. However, I know that it's disheartening to not get any response, even a rejection, so I'm making a point to send a message to those who were kind enough to come look at my profile, because I know that some of them took the time to actually *read* it. So, yes, there's a plethora of reasons for why people don't send responses, but don't feel like that means you need to leave CM. If it's God's will, we'll all find that special someone in His own time. :)
I completely agree with you Bernadette! I think that silence is better in the beginning...

I mean, if its maybe the start of something, and the other person simply doesn't answer, well, its much better, because nothing really started, it won't hurt. I think that's something that we learn over time in this site.
Jun 11th 2013 new
Brian for the reasons you describe are certainly true, but that's not what I mean....I mean if you are not a paying member....you cannot answer an emote or email. Or can you? I couldn't answer anyone who emailed me when I was not paying. I chose to pay when I wanted to talk on the forums...you know it's therapy time for everyone on the forums. It's cheaper than getting a shrink I guess.
Jun 12th 2013 new
Tammy, I do the same. However, recently, a man viewed my profile. He is 89. I was so freaked I let it go. Normally, I would follow-up.
Jun 12th 2013 new
I usually respond to all messages and emotograms even the most obvious mismatches. (I have received messages from ladies young enough to be my granddaughter.) It is quite rude not to answer when spoken to. When I find I'm not interested in a particular female person I usually say thanks but our age difference is a problem or the distance is too great. I might add that I try to respond to all who viewed me with a thank you for taking the time to view my profile. I am fullyawre of the fact that some are not paid members so I assume that is the reason for no response and go on
Jun 12th 2013 new
(quote) Jack-752986 said: and then there's:

praying out, riding the fence line
just flakey just a turkey just crazy
sick
car accident
dead
The dead one really got me laughing. Haha.

On topic, they might not be paying members or they might simply just not be interested. The former happened to me a lot of times. They usually just end up sending multiple emotigrams without messages or just liking my photos. Then again, not willing to be a paying member simply means they aren't serious enough about finding someone. Like I explained to my sister earlier this morning, what is $50 a year compared to potentially finding someone you'll spend the rest of your life with? You can't measure true love in currency! One thing non-paying members don't realize is that because of their decision not to join the site, they may miss out on finding that person they've been looking for their whole life! ;)
Jun 12th 2013 new
(quote) Maryjane-408997 said: Tammy, I do the same. However, recently, a man viewed my profile. He is 89. I was so freaked I let it go. Normally, I would follow-up.
A profile browse not followed by a communication could mean any number of things: the person clicked on a link to your profile by accident; they read something you wrote in a forum post and were curious about your perspective; the brief summary of your profile they viewed somewhere piqued their curiosity; they were bored and saw you listed in one of the categories on the site home page; or perhaps they thought they might be interested and weren't. In any case, there is no need to feel obligated to respond to a browse.

Even a message from someone of the opposite sex doesn't necessary mean they are looking for a date. Perhaps they wish to comment on something in a forum post or your profile, or perhaps noticed something you have in common. Many people carry on strictly platonic communications on CM.

And even if the 89 year old was interested romantically, perhaps this is the man God has hand-picked just for you...

Jun 12th 2013 new
"because you can quickly move on to someone who is interested."

I actually don't find that to be true-- no one has ever been able to answer the question of how long does one wait for someone to respond. A person might not log on regularly. She may not have received the e-mail notification. She may be on vacation, on a sequestered jury, a cruise, on military reserve duty, in jail, or otherwise not in a position to respond. Her phone might be broken (my colleague has probably gone through a dozen phones in the last few years) and she doesn't have a desktop or laptop computer. When you don't get a response, you are left to wonder and try to muster some Christian charity to excuse her non-response. When you get a response right away, even a negative response, then you can "quickly" move on to someone who is interested.
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