Yet, often I feel like I must have done something wrong. I pray and
sometimes that helps, but sometimes not.
My Sweetheart was only 55 when she died from Cancer. It wasn't fair to her
or to me.
We didn't have children so life has gone from warm, loving, and full of care
and joy to alone-ness, self doubt at times, and sometimes worry and fear about the future.
Even if I was to meet a new Sweetheart, (which seems so so so remote of a chance) ,
how do you make up for years of familiarity that evolved in your relationship with your spouse?
I joined this site as hopefully a direction from God. But after reading the forums and profiles, it doesn't seem like success will hit me in the face.
Most people seem so exciting in their profiles. They travel the world, they climb Mount Everest, and they mingle with High Society.
I'm just a simple Bozo who is boring compared to these people.
And yet, these exciting people on the site are " ON THE SITE" !!! So maybe they aren't Mr. Excitement or Ms. Excitement after-all. They are Mr. Searching and Ms. Searching too...
I'm just venting, please forgive me. I, like many of you, put my everything into my marriage and well, you know what I mean.
I don't know how or where to meet a new Sweetheart and I'd feel like a teenager worrying about rejection and if I measure up..
I thought I would die before my wife, but God had other plans.
My heart goes out to all widows/widowers....It will be 5 years for me this August. I'm ready to move on, and have been for a while, but the selection of available Sweethearts at my age is pretty slim...
And from reading the forums, everyone seems scared to have a relationship..Maybe me too....
I had a wonderful bestest friend forever marriage. I should be happy for that and maybe not try to have it again with another Sweetheart.
But the taste was so wonderful and joyous that one hopes to find it again..I'd love to find love again. Who wouldn't...?
Does that make sense ????
Do you feel like you are in Widowhood Prison sometimes too ???