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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Jul 21st 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: Great point.
I would add: there is great comfort in knowing that your spouse did not leave you by choice.


Be careful my Dear,,,the divorced people will not like ....
Jul 21st 2013 new
Hey, it is what it is.
The pain of widowhood is bad enough, I cannot imagine what divorced people go through.
Jul 21st 2013 new
Hope you will allow a divorcee to post in this forum.

I dated a widower for nearly five months, gave it my "all", but he was hopelessly still clinging to the memory of his dead wife who died seven years ago.

I think that widowers and widows have already suffered enough, grieved enough, that when they go on CM to find a date , they are emotionally ready to give love another try.

I know that the dead spouse can never be replaced but another man/woman can be a wonderful companion who can make life as wonderful as the life he/she had with the first spouse , IF ONLY given the chance.


Jul 21st 2013 new
(quote) Geri-972629 said: Hi everyone, lots of good wisdom here, but I just thought I'd add something my (divorced) friend said to me the other day. She suggested that widows/widowers have an advantage over those who are divorced because - we know what "right" looks like. Although I know I can never replace my precious husband, and would never want to, I am comforted by knowing that I have built a successful relationship in the past and can do so again, if God wills it.

Just wanted to throw that thought out there, in the hopes that it might resonate.
Geri
Yes indeed. We all know that we can succeed at marriage. Even though we'd prefer to still be working on it.
Jul 23rd 2013 new
I've been widowed three years and I know what you mean about feeling like you've committed a crime. I was 29 when my husband took his life. When men hear that it's like I have the plague. :(
Jul 25th 2013 new
The main difference I think between widowhood and being divorce is, your spouse is GONE! in a divorce, your spouse is still around to keep reminding you of some kind of failure that took place. When a spouse has passed, all you have is pictures,memories, and children (if lucky) to remind you of them.
Aug 12th 2013 new
Kevin,
You indicated that when the spouse has passed, all you have is pictures ... to remind you of them. Not so, in my case. I had a number of unanswered questions and no way to resolve the answers. So whether the spouse is present or gone, one has to learn how to leave the issues where they belong -- in the past. They can not be changed. Hope you can find a way to let go of whatever that might be.
Aug 12th 2013 new
Sometimes it just feels like a sentence of some sort. My husband died at the young age of 41. He was so intelligent and educated, he served his country and HE is the one that died. I am not a world traveler and don't have a fantastic profile. I spent most of my life taking care of loved ones, didn't have time to finish college or travel or do many exciting things. And now I work so much that who has that kind of time. I get all kinds of reactions from people, but mostly scared looks in their eyes as if they know it could happen to them as well. I think I comfort them more than they comfort me. Sometimes it is as if I am contagious or something, but they mean well, they just don't know how to react...especially when they hear of how he passed away. heart rose hug
Aug 13th 2013 new
(quote) Jane-933948 said: Sometimes it just feels like a sentence of some sort. My husband died at the young age of 41. He was so intelligent and educated, he served his country and HE is the one that died. I am not a world traveler and don't have a fantastic profile. I spent most of my life taking care of loved ones, didn't have time to finish college or travel or do many exciting things. And now I work so much that who has that kind of time. I get all kinds of reactions from people, but mostly scared looks in their eyes as if they know it could happen to them as well. I think I comfort them more than they comfort me. Sometimes it is as if I am contagious or something, but they mean well, they just don't know how to react...especially when they hear of how he passed away.
I am confused starting at "scared looks"
Aug 13th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: Hey, it is what it is.
The pain of widowhood is bad enough, I cannot imagine what divorced people go through.
Sorry to post where I don't belong.

Thank you for your compassion, Marge. Both roads are difficult and at times painful. I appreciate your empathy.
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