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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Dec 11th 2013 new
Agree that you only need one! I try to stay active on the site without actually doing any initiating myself, I figure if the right one sees me, he'll be interested. If you're a man, I guess I naturally expect you to do the pursuing, and I don't ever feel comfortable messaging first. So...if you're a guy and you're having trouble, try writing more messages! And not just "Hey, how's it going," take the time to read her profile and ask a few relevant questions :)
Dec 18th 2013 new
(quote) Sheilagh-1011461 said: Hi all, this is my first time posting in the forums. It seems like inactive profiles, and people just not responding to smiles and messages, is a problem for both men and women, of all ages.
Firstly, I didn't realize there were so many of us in our twenties!!! tongue

Secondly, I do find myself with a lot of life experience and often limit my searches to those only older than I. Do guys want a gal older than they? However, I do find it a bit frustrating that many people are not subscribed, but I just don't get attatched until folks start talking to me. I would be nice if there was an under 35 group, but that would probably get disregarded anyway since most of the posts on other discussions in the under 45 forum are from folks 50 and up!
Jan 1st 2014 new

Hello All,

One of the posts here got me thinking a bit...

When women try to initiate conversations by sending out emotes or messages to a man, do you think they find this unattractive? Do men prefer to make first contact?

God Bless! wave

Feb 1st 2014 new
(quote) Cara-862490 said:

Hello All,

One of the posts here got me thinking a bit...

When women try to initiate conversations by sending out emotes or messages to a man, do you think they find this unattractive? Do men prefer to make first contact?

God Bless!

I was wondering the same thing. I feel awkward starting a conversation. It seems too forward. I would like the guys input on if it's ok for a girl to start a conversation.
Feb 2nd 2014 new
I see no problems with it but be aware you might not always get a reply. I know I have sent literally over a hundred messges to women only to get no reply at all. I have tried using an interview as an ice breaker, but go for it!
Feb 5th 2014 new
(quote) Cara-862490 said:

Hello All,

One of the posts here got me thinking a bit...

When women try to initiate conversations by sending out emotes or messages to a man, do you think they find this unattractive? Do men prefer to make first contact?

God Bless!

I was wondering the same thing, so I put it in my personal interview. So far, not one guy has said he doesn't like women to make the first contact. That's something I'm happy about because I'm shy, but I also don't want to sit around years from now wondering if I missed out because I couldn't overcome my shyness to at least say hi. And I think shy guys are adorable :).
Good luck.
Feb 6th 2014 new
(quote) Joseph-623790 said: I see no problems with it but be aware you might not always get a reply. I know I have sent literally over a hundred messges to women only to get no reply at all. I have tried using an interview as an ice breaker, but go for it!
I'm curious--do you think no-replies are rude or do you just accept that as the way things work?
Feb 6th 2014 new
(quote) Ariana-951487 said: I'm curious--do you think no-replies are rude or do you just accept that as the way things work?
Internet communication is a lot different from in-person/face-to-face communication, although in theory it should not be. It seems to me that it's a lot easier to reject or ignore someone via Internet than it is talking face-to-face with someone. Does a Christian pretend not to hear someone when they say "hello", and display the bravery to initiate contact? There is always the possibility of me "accidentally" forgetting to reply to someone's message, and Christian moral principles posit that there is such a thing as my being in a state of invincible ignorance. However, if I knowingly neglect replying to a message I've received, it is an unloving and un-Christlike thing for me to do.

For instance, suppose I decide to not reply to a message on the grounds that a relationship would not come of it. I would be (1) reducing the woman to an object, in somewhat the same way I could reduce her to an object if I sexually sinned with her, (2) I would be being arrogant to presume to know the whole of her soul at a glance: how much of a person's whole being can I know by looking at an online-profile, written and built under the pressures of achieving present-ability? [This is the downside of Internet dating: by being presented with, in theory, 1000s of options, all people can look the same to me, and rejection is a lot easier]

In the interest of being a good Christian, I should hold myself to the same standards of replying to a message as if I were encountering them equivalently in real-life conversation. It's not rude for me to knowingly neglect responding, I am being un-Christian. If I am un-Christian as such, I tragically and ironically render myself unfit to enter a relationship.... because of (1) and (2) above. The sins (1) and (2) above could be the seeds of a very unhealthy relationship, and if a member of the opposite detects that in me, they would be right to be un-attracted to me.

Sorry for the length of this post, but I wish for all to be encouraged to greet each other with Christian warmth.
Feb 8th 2014 new
I am in my mid-20's and there just aren't any young guys at the parish I go to. Vegas is not necessarily the most Catholic place :) So I am trying this, why not right? Try every door and maybe God will open one. I am personally a little creeped out by the number of 35-45 year old men who have viewed my profile. I am 24 and they are 10-20 years my senior. I feel bad not answering them when they chat with me, but what am I supposed to say "You are too old, go away" or "I am sorry you are not attractive to me, I will not be chatting with you."?
My new technique is to ignore anyone I am not interested in, and view often the profiles of men I am interested in. If I take an interview that is because I am interested. If a guy takes my interview and I am interested, I will respond.
In real life, if I was in a room full of people I would have only a short chat at most with any man I was not interested in and then I would never see him again. I need to be physically attracted to the guy and I want him to be physically attracted to me. I also won't even consider a guy with particular religious, moral, and political viewpoints.
I am not expecting the online thing to work out, but I would love it if it did.
(PS: I check mine daily, why have a profile if you aren't going to check it?)
Wish you all the best of luck,
~Mary
Feb 9th 2014 new
To be honest I kinda of used to it. I used to think it was really rude but then again my standards are extremely high and I empathize because I do get messages from people who I am absolutely not attacted to in any way.

I agree with Mary in that I must be physically attracted to a woman before I engage in an online conversation. I take care of my body and I expect my future girlfriend to as well. I think its ok to be pickier online because of the atmosphere. To me, CM isn't the only way for me to find a date.

I also think that to be successful in online dating, one must also date in the real world as well. I have often seen profiles with completely unrealistic expectations who seemingly have never been on a real life date. I use CM as a way to open up more options, not to be my last and only hope. I think in any relationship, actual communication and real life interaction is absoulutely necessary.
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