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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jun 12th 2013 new
All you can do is keep trying at your age you've got plenty of time. Just be honest and open and not too serious to start out. Start with friendship and move on from there.
A lot of people on the internet aren't really serious about wanting a relationship or maybe they are just lazy and think it will fall into their laps or they have this ideal in their mind of a perfect person and won't consider real human beings.....I don't know why people don't reply but it is frustrating so many of us feel your pain. Just have fun with the internet don't expect too much and you won't be disappointed.
Jun 12th 2013 new
Thank you all for your input! I suppose God is watching over me in the meantime. I'm turning my new apartment into a great "bachelor pad" and I'm rescuing a dog so things are good otherwise thankfully :)
Jun 12th 2013 new
Anne,

thats great advice! That's what I'm hoping for is to get to know new people first before entering into anything serious. Im keeping that in mind and enjoying the single life by going out to concerts, traveling, and if I can get up enough courage, skydiving this summer!
Jun 12th 2013 new
Hello Patrick, and welcome to the fora!

As has already been mentioned, unfortunately, most messages are not responded to, either because a person got busy and a message ends up on the second page of their inbox, and thus gets lost for weeks or months; because they don't see enough in common with the other member; because of a difference in answers to the faith questions (btw, I noticed that at the top of your profile, it says "Yes to most," but on each of the questions, you answered "Yes," so perhaps ladies aren't seeing that you're really a 7/7 Catholic, which is very important factor many of us look out for); or because of the whole "I can't relocate"/"Prefer a specific location" issue.

The great thing about CM is that there are so many Catholics to make friends with, but not everyone is here to make friends, but find that special someone, and to find them only. Also, because of some bad experiences, the ladies have gotten very cautious about responding to gentleman unless they're *really* interested, so please don't give up because you haven't received many answers. Hang in there, keep praying, and you'll find your special lady someday. Until then, we're praying for you. Praying
Jun 12th 2013 new
I suppose I have underestimated the importance of a woman needing to protect herself from a harmful communication. The questions that come to mind are (1) how does one establish themselves as a trustworthy and safe person to talk to? But (2) how much harm could come to someone whose last name is concealed? One's street address, phone number, last name, etc., is not posted in plain sight. The worst someone could do is type hurtful things. Why not wait until the hurtful things are actually typed instead of assuming the hurtful things are going to be typed, and not communicating? Am I missing something here? Am I overestimating the safety of online communication? I am open to the idea that this question (2) is not sensitive to some real and present danger I "take for granted" as not being there, since I'm a man. (Try as I may, sometimes it's hard to understand how a woman sees the world).
Jun 12th 2013 new
Harmful messages is one aspect I haven't thought about. I've accepted the fact that if I don't get messages back that's fine. However I just wanted to make sure it's not something that I was doing wrong. I think once I rescue this dog soon and get a picture of the two of us on CM the responses might increase haha!
Jun 12th 2013 new
I think what the ladies are trying to express is that if we are interested, we will respond. Too many times I think we feel that we owe everyone a response, whether we are interested or not. Many of us have had the unfortunate experiences of men becoming volatile when we respond with a polite "thanks, but no thanks." As someone else said, we have had many threads about this in the Women's Discussion, and it seems that many women no longer respond if not interested because of these past negative experiences. I know that it doesn't make it right, but women take these negative comments to heart and become very hurt when we feel like we are doing the right thing by at least responding. Men and women alike seem to be "darned if you do, darned if you don't." Hope that made some sense.
Jun 12th 2013 new
(quote) Bradley-266389 said: "(2) how much harm could come to someone whose last name is concealed? One's street address, phone number, last name, etc., is not posted in plain sight. The worst someone could do is type hurtful things. Why not wait until the hurtful things are actually typed instead of assuming the hurtful things are going to be typed, and not communicating? Am I missing something here? Am I overestimating the safety of online communication? I am open to the idea that this question."
Bradley,

In a lot of cases it is relatively easy to figure out the 'name, rank, serial number' of a member whose only identification you see is their name on the screen. Depending on how chatty you become...and how soon...little clues tumble out that can lead to discovering who you are typing with. Our profiles, depending on how detailed, can give us away, too!

I don't advocate freezing up because that would defeat the purpose of being on this site and getting to know anyone. However, I do believe we must be very careful. Personal identity security in an online relationship...be it with a bank or with a potential life partner...is a ticklish issue. Common sense and trust need to walk hand in hand when putting ourselves 'out here'.
Jun 12th 2013 new
Megan,

Women on this site are definitely not obligated to send a response and neither are the men. Its disapointing to hear that some of the men are choosing to be petty and lash out at women for saying no. Sure it's disappointing not to hear back from the women I message but the thing I wanted to raise to the group here is if I was doing anything wrong with my profile or approach. If I haven't hear ld back I let it go. I guess that's just the attitude I've adopted to not get totally disappointed over my first online dating experience.
Jun 12th 2013 new
Sorry, I guess I wasn't directly responding to your post. Just lending some more insight into the safety/reasons for not responding discussion.

I'm sure you aren't doing anything wrong!
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