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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jun 18th 2013 new
(quote) Kathy-99973 said: Here's a topic for another thread, many of us probably put widows and widowers on a pedestal. It's intimidating getting to know those who have had very long-term marriages that resulted in one death. So, be patient with us as we should be with you!


Kathy, I think you've hit on a topic that both Linda and I have encountered. As a widow, I can't tell you how many men have expressed to me (especially if they knew my late husband) that they just COULDN'T measure up to him, and thus felt uncomfortable asking for a date! YIKES! eyepopping

We did have a great marriage, but neither of us were saints! We had our ups and downs, too. I wish more men would just take the time to see and find out who I AM NOW, not as the "dangling participle" of a long-ago marriage...

Linda, for you it hasn't been that long--you're still identified as part of that "couple". Give it time....Hopefully not as long as I've had to endure (14 years)!
Jun 18th 2013 new
Just wear a green and white print dress that's too low in the neck and flirt away. :D
Jun 18th 2013 new
As someone who is getting ready to marry a widower who had a 41+ year marriage, let me say this.. He puts his pants on the same way everyone else does. He talks about his late wife a lot. He talks about the good times they had and the challenges they faced. She is not a threat to me and he is entirely ready to move on. I never did 'get' why anyone puts widowed on such a pedestal. Divorced people, even with a miserable former marriage can find positive moments to treasure in their previous relationship.
Jun 18th 2013 new
I have viewed hundreds of profiles that I thought were interesting men and didn't send a message because I thought they wouldn't be interested in me.. I would encourage all men to make contact with ANYONE they find interesting,, That woman might be hoping you'll make the first move. wink
Jun 18th 2013 new
My car has a remote. I can unlock it for both of us! There is no reason for a woman to crumple here clothes in order to unlock my door. smile smile
Jun 18th 2013 new
* her, not here
Jun 18th 2013 new
(quote) Beverly-649723 said: Tom, I loved reading this! It brought to mind something that happened a couple of months ago on a date with a man I'd had several previous dates. We were on our way to a theatre performance, and he had to stop at an ATM for cash at a shopping center. He parked within visual distance of the ATM machine, and not too far from a light standard, but when he got out, he gave me his car keys and asked me to please lock the door (with me inside the car) while he was away. I said, "Oh that's ok--I'll be fine--I can see you from here." He INSISTED! So, I complied (although my inner "independent woman I-can-take care-of-myself" persona was annoyed), and HE WAS HAPPY as the male protector of my virtues. I think sometimes, after being on my own for over 14 years and of a 'mature age', I come across as unappreciative of a man's protective actions (and probably a turn-off?). I've just learned to "do for myself"....Yet, in retrospect, I DO appreciate his thoughtfulness.
That's really cute, Bev. I bet even though you were annoyed at the time, you were probably flattered in a way later. I love it when a man steps up to protect me and I am very independent as well.
Jun 18th 2013 new
Don't hold your breath.
Jun 18th 2013 new
Beverly, I echo your words. In the military world, it is even harder. I am out there publicly because of the book I wrote and the speaking I do on military loss which makes it a double edged sword. Neither of us were saints and I do not expect or even want another Phil, but sometimes I think people think I should be married to him even in death. That isn't what he wanted--I know because he told me even when I didn't want to listen.
Jun 18th 2013 new
I was being polite, I guess. You've known a few widowers, Donna, how do they refer to their deceased wife? If they still call them "my wife", is that force of habit, or a sign of not ready to move on yet?

Congrats! Personally, it's kind of strange for me to imagine a man with over 30 years with one woman. Maybe because I got married late in life! biggrin
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