(quote) Linda-756196 said: Since I am very skeptical and pathetic at knowing the dating scene, let me ask something. Is it wrong to think that men should do some of the work in terms of pursuing and asking out first? I am not the kind of girl that chases the flavor of the month or even the day and when a man talks about how many messages and views he has, I get a little ill. I guess I think that maybe we women have made it too easy on men? I don't know. I am new to being single and new to online dating. Maybe I am old fashioned, but to me if a man views me, it doesn't equate interest (maybe disgust because if men never reach out, it must be me? ).
In the life, I do get asked out, but men have so far been about seeing if I will be the Friday special. I am not that girl. Maybe I need to live long enough to get someone who still believes in asking the woman out first and opening the door for her. Gee, I am 51 now. Wonder how long that will be? 85?
Hello Linda - the way I see it, I don't want to "rob men of their dignity" if I do all the "leg work". There's nothing wrong with initiating but it's great when they pick it up from there . It's nice when he "takes charge" and make plans with me , like finding out what I like etc and then planning something around that - it shows that they made an effort and it is highly appreciated. Not to say that I become stagnant and passive either. Just maybe a gentle nudge in the right direction, a little encouragement etc...hopefully they are receptive to it and vice versa. It is a collaboration after all but I also have to learn to step back and see how he's going to take action also.
I learned to not take things personal when it comes to - no response, "views only", "poof", "mis-sent text"
etc. If he's not just into me - that's on him, not mine, I'm not taking it personal. I know I have to guard my heart and "be tough" about it too, especially that I made this decision to start dating again. It will be a fun journey but I know it will not be w/o its frustrations and aches.