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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jun 18th 2013 new
I certainly have a checklist, but when I meet someone I get along great with it's always amazing how so many things drop off that list!
Jun 18th 2013 new
Brian, I agree! But in order to built that relationship... dont you think you have some basics checks?
Jun 18th 2013 new
So... you think is about being flexible with that ckecklist that everybody has?
Jun 18th 2013 new
Marcela, I think it's about categorizing that checklist into ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE, REALLY DO PREFER BUT MAY BE FLEXIBLE ON, and WOULD BE NICE BUT WON'T MISS IT IF IT'S NOT THERE.

I think we all have some Must Haves which should never be compromised.
Jun 18th 2013 new
I think the important part is being flexible, not to attempt to place someone into some box or criteria. Example here, people that refuse to date a smoker, completely writing them off as being unworthy, that the person will always be a smoker, and that is that. Have any idea how hard it is to quit when you have no direct support? It's hard enough with, but hey, you got to come up to my standard before I will give you the time of day.... Faith, same scenerio, for me to place the same degree I have been called into, for myself, as to others, I would literally have to be excluding all women except for the ones that have left the convent. Same with career, and again, I own my own business, it's flourishing, for me to place this same degree on someone else, she would have to be insane.

It's their potential, and if they are going to allow me to lead, and if they are not going to force me to lower my respect for myself and them. I'm looking across the board at this stage, and I can say on one hand. I want some super sharp, on top of things gal with a mind for business, I automatically placed the artistic, creative, nurturing type out of the picture. If I went for the latter, I automatically pushed the supportive, simple gal out of the picture, since they would think me as being unapproachable, I can go on and on like this. I could be happy with many types of women, appreciate them for who they are, as they are and not try to change them. Moving on from there, the basics of the basics, I also am attracted to the bad girl, many men are, they just won't admit it, but that's strictly on a primal level. I would rather be with a someone that's not fitting my criteria that has a lot of passion, then any that match it, that are boring.

We move on from there, how much love and affection did Jesus show to Mary Magdelen? She was and is still considered tainted, dirty, and an outcast, yet the fact remains, she is not, she has been forgiven, she repented and became a new creation, born again, and should be thought of that way.

I'm here for testing the waters, but I'm also out in the world, and right now the strongest candidate for me is a gal that works at a local gas station, have no idea what her faith is, and yes she has a child, but she works two jobs and guess what, she is actually talking to me like a normal human being, no pretension, doesn't expect some song and dance, our chats are short, but she is saying everything in the right context, being honest, has dreams, plenty of energy, sharp as a tack, motivated, and cute. Yes, she's younger then me, but she has a level of maturity I can very much relate to.

I also see too often, where people place this checklist of do's and dont's yet ignore what they are bringing to the table, into the relationship. What is it that we are giving into it, rather then taking out of it? It's about building relationships, and of those, hopefully one goes into the stage of romance.

Jun 18th 2013 new
That all said, I do have some basic criteria listed in my profile for several reasons. One being, sending a statement to these gals here that are not in union with the church, to get in line with it, else they are missing the boat along the faith in general, much less allowing for a good man to be in their lives. Second, I'm paying for this place specifically because it's supposed to represent the Catholic singles, I can pursue women not of the faith outside of this place, it's putting this CM to the test, and so far it's failing miserably. I have in my search profile, a limited range towards distance, and age, yet they still try to match me up with women that can have no children, that are not in line with the church, that are again, of the world. Their matches are also picking women literally in another country, and several states away, and this is the best they can do? I shutter to think this is all we have to choose from...

At the end of my 30 days here, I will detail every nuance of my experience, including all of the scripting issues CM should have worked out long ago, so far this is just about revenue and raising false hope. I'm going to make this public to the parishes I attend, and make it very clear, this is absolutely not sufficing what so ever for the singles in our community.
Jun 18th 2013 new
The only thing I can think of that would be a complete "dealbreaker" (man, I hate that word!) is if it's clear that we are unable to communicate easily enough to want to set up a F2F.
Some of the most unlikely people turn out to be most interesting...and the ones who seem great on paper just don't work out somehow.
Jun 18th 2013 new
(quote) Lina-796057 said: Marcela, I think it's about categorizing that checklist into ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE, REALLY DO PREFER BUT MAY BE FLEXIBLE ON, and WOULD BE NICE BUT WON'T MISS IT IF IT'S NOT THERE.

I think we all have some Must Haves which should never be compromised.
Thank you Lina!
Jun 26th 2013 new
There are a few must haves on the checklist. Christian who is active in their faith; I was, and that's how I became Catholic. . .
Female
Some degree of intelligence to carry on thought provoking conversations
Jun 26th 2013 new
I try not to have too much of a checklist! I am, after all, not grocery shopping, but looking for the man God has in mind for me! And since His mind is unknowable without contemplation, I pray over every match and every communication!

That said, I think being here certainly expresses my preferences... I would like someone who can lead me in life, and help guide me to heaven. I will, of course, do the same for my spouse, so if we can agree on what gets us there, that would be best.
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