Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
So yes, for a guy, it makes perfect sense that one gradually grows more romantically attracted to previously non-romantic friends. For girls, it just doesn't happen the same way (there are even some who will admit they see the logic in the male version, and maybe would prefer it if it were a matter of choice, but their nature is just not set up that way).
Concretely, then, what you gradually learn to do is get adept at spotting the characteristics in a young lady you've recently met that would make her seem like someone you'd particularly like to be around. When you've gotten to know her a little bit, then instead of 'buddying up' and winding up in the friend zone, ask her on a date. You'll get to know each other on more of a one on one basis than you would a friend (where it'd likely be more of a group), so that's something to get used to. However, you're used to getting on well with girls. That is transferable, and by slightly switching things up, you've dramatically reduced the friend zone dynamic. (now of course she might end up saying "let's just be friends" but that's a whole different kettle of fish, and you can consider actually being 'normal' friends at that point; sometimes people just don't match romantically - and you're much more likely to both realize it together if you've started out dating rather than as friends, which of course makes everything easier - but do work as friends).
Get a sheet of paper and list the girls who have done this. Make a table or matrix of their religion, upbringing, college major, profession/occupation, ethnicity, financial level, whatever you can think of. It may be that you are consistently picking girls from a group with which you have nothing in common.
I've seen this happen before. One fellow asked me why the CM girls didn't respond to him -- turned out they were all blondes with lots of mascara and none shared his interests or ambitions. He was choosing to contact them based solely on their looks. Another guy kept having disastrous relationships -- he consistently chose to date never-married women with two children by different fathers...a complicated situation that he really wasn't able to handle.
The common element in our failures sometimes is US -- BUT sometimes it's the things that attract us.
I think that when you & my beautiful Goddaughter cross paths, the magic will happen!
Attractiveness seems important to you now, since you are young and male. But keep using your brain instead of your emotions and someday you'll finding yourself thinking how odd that you never noticed how attractive that nice girl over there is.
"Beauty is as beauty does," grandma used to say. Translation: He/she who acts handsomely looks handsome.
I try not to let it get at me and when it starts to get annoying I workout and continue to stay laser like focused on my dreams.
Let it happen everything will work out when you least expect it and just be yourself. Your time will come, as will mine.
There is a reason you are friend zoned right now. Maybe, God isn't ready for you to meet that one special person just yet. I've had a lot of missed-targets but hey I'd rather crash and burn on those because it's one more day closer that I will be to the one for me. Stay strong brother, believe in yourself and don't forget to help at least a person a day.
If and when you meet someone who is interested in YOU, you don't have to be overly-forward but be honest in your actions and your intentions that you ARE interested "that way". That way it eases the pain of the asking and being rejected, because it will come out sooner what you are truly "after" (you won't find yourself in the 5-years-long-quasi-relationship situation) and the women you are interested in won't be as taken aback or feel as betrayed.
In the meantime, I would encourage you to enjoy the friendships with women God is blessing you with! How I appreciate the qualities of my male friends! Their strength has been a great comfort in times of distress, and I trust their opinion in who I am dating, sometimes more than my female friends, since they don't seem to be as caught up in the "romance" of a courtship. There are great things you can learn from your female friends to prepare you for the beautiful spouse God is simultaneously preparing for YOU as we speak!
One, of course, doesn't just "date anyone," just for the sake of dating. But the opposite extreme--waiting for "the perfect One"--seems just as dangerous....