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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jun 28th 2013 new
Some women are petty. They look at height. I see you are 5 ft 4. Go for a petite woman. I think a lot of people today are just blaaa.
Jun 28th 2013 new

I don't know if you'll believe me, because I wouldn't believe me so many years ago, but the best way to handle friend-zoning? Be a good friend!

I met a girl after Mass one day, we became close, she revealed that I was just a friend, and so I said, "well, she's a good person, so I don't want to just disappear and hurt her, like it was a relationship or bust." So we stayed friends, and I prayed for guidance, and I prayed that I see her for who she was, not as what I wanted.

How does the story end? I don't know yet. We're still good friends. I ended up introducing her to a friend and college roommate, and helping them get together. I may not be a father, but I will probably be a God-father biggrin

Also, because she knows me well, she's able to help in the same manner, introduce me to others and say, "oh, you both like this and this".

So, the friend-zone does lead to better things, even if you can't imagine it at the time.

You may also appreciate something I saw on CatholicMemes -- a girl says you're a really special guy... "You'd make a great priest."
Jun 28th 2013 new
(quote) Andy-896770 said: Felicity, now I'm curious, what is your definition of a "sweet guy" vs. a "confident guy". How am I acting that makes me come across as "sweet" while other guys are "dashing and daring"?
Okay, I'm going to take a shot at this . . . if you still have that wavy, curly blonde, full head of hair, yep, boyish, sweet does kind of fit.

Go to a hip hair salon and have some young chick with a nose ring and tattoo give you an edgy cut. Yeah, I know, but sometimes the clothes and hair do make the initial second look a little more "dashing and daring."

Just sayin'

Jun 28th 2013 new
(quote) Ed-442168 said: Andy,

If you're this frustrated with the site, It's probably because you do much better in real life. Once the pinkys black-ball you in their private room you should just seek out that "special someone" elsewhere. I know, there are a lot of good Catholic ladies on this site. But at this point they probably think they're better than you or are guided by a handful of off-their-rocker hags who weaseled their way in as a surrogate matriarch.

We don't ,and have not, black ball anyone. However, by your vile post, you just black-balled yourself.

Jun 29th 2013 new
Andy, I can definitely see both sides of the "friend zoning" situation and am working through it myself. It is definitely frustrating when we want to enter into a relationship with someone and get placed into the "friend zone", especially when it seems "so easy" for other people to enter into relationships, or when other people's relationships develop fairly rapidly. Trying to express romantic feelings to people in our lives who are in the friend zone is also really scary and difficult to do.

I tend to be more introverted than extroverted, and tend to struggle with the whole developing a relationship thing and when/how to express my interest to potential partners. As a male, I do tend to get caught up in the "here and now" aspect of trying to develop a relationship as quickly as possible, and knowing very extroverted people who can enter relationships very easily doesn't always help. The one thing I'm learning through my experience is to try to find a balanced approach to expressing my intentions when trying to develop a relationship, whether it be with people I know, or with new people. As mentioned in another post, I can be very introverted and shy at times, so trying to develop relationships has been challenging, but I've learned a lot about what does and doesn't work for me when trying to develop relationships. "Friend zoning" is probably going to play a role in my attempts at developing a relationship, because I do tend to take a little while to "warm up" and show my outgoing side to new people. Of course, the big part is learning how to express interest in potentially developing a relationship without coming across as being in a rush, or trying not to play the "all or nothing" card.

The message I'm getting in my experience is to slow down and work on developing a good core relationship before rushing into the whole marriage thing, and anyways marriage is supposed to be for life/until death do us part, so what gives if it takes a good relationship a few years to develop? :)

One last tip, don't let friend zoning turn you off dating completely and don't give up too quickly. when my mother first met my father, she said that she couldn't date him for a variety of reasons, and they ended up being married for more than 40 years before he passed away this winter..

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