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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jun 23rd 2013 new
I am not discounting anybody. If a person keeps themselves healthy then yes they can have kids at an advanced age for it
Jun 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Trish-977181 said: I agree with you Bernard. If someone takes the time and effort to contact me, I feel it's only right to respond in a kind way. A person spends hours browsing profiles, sends a friendly note or emotigram and hopes for the best. The biggest slap in the face is when someone reads your profile and just ignores you.
I only signed up for a month, but am very discouraged.
Thanks for bringing this up.
Lovely new profile pic Trish! thumbsup
Jun 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Chris-906154 said: I don't think you can win at this. The stories I hear, if they respond they get yelled at, and if they don't they get yelled at. I think some people just don't know what to do and end up doing nothing.
I think sometimes, people just need thicker skin (and to not take themselves and the "downs" of life so seriously). It's like trying to get a job. Sometimes, they respond and tell you no, you didn't get the job. That is disappointing. Sometimes they don't even respond, so you hang on a bit, hoping they'll still call, but they never do, so you come to the conclusion that you didn't get the job.

I don't know which "no" delivery is best, if there is a best "no" delivery, but either way, it's still a no. But....you don't just throw in the towel and give up trying to get a job. You just suck it up, and keep plugging away. Same way with dating.

On another note, if I applied to get a job as a chief surgeon, something I am not even remotely qualified for, then I have no business being disappointed in the "no" answer that I would get. Or more accurately, when they ignore me (= no). Same thing for dating. Are you reading the lady's profile? Are you even remotely close to what she is looking for? Is she looking for a solidly faithful man, whereas you are someone who is a 3/7 on the faith questions? Is she looking for someone annulled, and you haven't even considered seeking one? Is she looking for someone semi-physically fit (maybe she's a runner) yet you are someone who smokes regularly and wheezes just walking up a small flight of stairs? Or maybe you think she'd be a perfect fit for you, because when you look in the mirror you still see that young 20-something lad you used to be, yet she's looking to date someone (actually) in her age range (20-something) and you are late 40's or 50's?

Just make sure you are reading her profile and are really someone close to who she is looking for, otherwise, when she ignores you, then you have no one to blame but yourself. (I.e. a very elderly gent "liked' a very young lady's pic and all that did was give her the ewwww factor).
Jun 23rd 2013 new
I've learned not to take the profile description too seriously. People can say that personality is the most important thing, but in the end it's financial stability, looks, social status.
Jun 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Steven-94269 said: OK I know this will make some people Mad. But I am tired of the Games As a young child you were taught to say thank you if some one gave you something or did something for you even now my Nieces and Ne[phews take time to send a thank you for a gift I give them on their Birthdays or other Occasions. So why do we not do the same on this site when someone takes the time out to send emotigram or a message do you not say thank you if you are not interested in someone just say so this lets the person know that he or she shold look elsewhere. As my subject line says this is what I call games. Please feel free to vent or post your comments.
Sometimes when you look back you wish you would have never posted something in a forum this is one of those times I am sorry if I offended anyone. I can see I pushed some buttons. I have been on this site now 8 years now so I think I am going to take a break for a while and step back and pray and see what direction God wants me to go.
Jun 23rd 2013 new
Steven,

I didn't find your post offensive. It is normal that there will be people against you or with you. That's part of it all I guess. You cannot make everyone happy.
Jun 23rd 2013 new
Rats.
Jun 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Joanna-615441 said: I do not always respond. Just as I may meet someone in a social setting. If you smile at me, I may just smile back and then move on. The moving on is my visual clue that I am not interested in contact, you do not get that visual clue on a website.


I like your Analogy.... I think too often..some of us are forgetting to put it in a real life perspective.  biggrin hersheyskiss Praying
Jun 24th 2013 new
Mark, I know what you mean but in the end there's no point in telling someone they should feel differently than they do. We live in a different world, and while the things that really matter haven't changed, age difference between spouses isn't one of those things. "Mid to late 20s" you're talking people 8-10 years younger than you and that's getting to be a stretch. I don't bother contacting anyone under 30. If someone under 30 contacted me, I'd answer of course but I wouldn't expect it to lead much of anywhere.

The world isn't America of course and there are plenty of cultures where big age differences are more widespread. But that opens up a whole new set of issues as to the different expectations out of marriage. If you married an 18 year old from such a culture, she probably wouldn't be your best friend. You may see a lot of "must be financially secure" if you go that route.

It's tough being on a clock and men our age definitely are if we want children. Not as biologically brutal as the one women are on but it's there anyway. And in some ways it's even more unpredictable. What if I meet my Snow White and she's 40? Well, then, God didn't want me to have biological children. That would be too bad, but if we were a perfect fit in other ways I'm not going to throw it away.


Jun 24th 2013 new
Thanks Wendy!
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