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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jul 7th 2013 new
I think it depends on the other person's age and gender. I know the last part sounds biased, but, let's face it, guys pretty much do the asking so a woman is dependent on him to actually pop the question...so to me it would seem a woman in her 40's would be looked upon differently (maybe a little, maybe a lot) than a man in his 40's remaining unmarried.

Also some single parents prefer other single parents as a lifestyle choice and in those cases it wouldn't matter your age nor gender, just if you do or don't have kids (pls understand these are generalizations though).

In any case Ann, when its right it will be right and your age or status will not matter to him.
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Jul 7th 2013 new
God Bless you....
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Jul 8th 2013 new
(quote) Bobbi-973848 said: unless it is annulled then you are still married in the eyes of God and the Church.
The above is a bery common and almost, but not quite, correct statement that causes a lot of confusion at times. The correct statement is that you are presumed to be married until declared otherwise by the church.

To say that one is "still married in the eyes of the Church" implies: (a) that there was at one timea valid marriageand, (b) the status is changed by the annulment process. For those who receive the declaration of nullity, neither is true. The declaration of nullity (AKA an annulment) is a declaration of the determination that a valid marriage never existed.


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Jul 8th 2013 new
(quote) Jacques-961161 said:

Josephine,

Thank you for asking. A woman who was married before must have committed. A woman who was never married never committed, or committed and something happened and the marriage did not get celebrated / concluded. So the fact that a woman was never married is not enough to conclude anything or to draw any conclusion yet.
I am saying that all the women who have never been married should be given the same consideration as the ones who have been married.
All I am saying in the second part of my response is that out of the set of women who have never been married, there are women who did not get married through no fault of their own, and that there are women who did not get married through their own fault. I am saying that a man should not use that "never married" fact about a woman to immediately assume that there is something wrong with her.
That said, men should try to answer the question as to why the woman that they are dating never got married. They should try to answer that question for themselves. The first reason that comes to my mind is that she was not in the right environment. For instance, if a woman is surrounded by boys under 18, or by men who only want to marry other men, it's obvious that she cannot get married.
Another reason may be that she lives like a hermit. She only ventures outside of her home to go to work and that's it.
Another reason is that men are afraid of her. Men can be tricky.
And yes, another reason is that she is too picky, that she is only interested in weeding out a man, not matter how good a prospect that man is. I have seen a woman like that in a dating show on TV and she was horrible. On her date, the guy picked up a call after saying "Excuse me, but I have to pick up that call". That woman latched onto that event and would not let go. She turned the entire date into expressing her displeasure over that phone call. Nothing else in the date mattered anymore. She found the smoking gun, she found why that guy was unacceptable. The guy kept apologizing (he has a business and wanted to quickly tell that important customer that he would call him back) but the woman would have none of it. She has no charity at all. Men will run away from that woman as if they had seen Lucifer himself.
So to clarify my point, there are women who never got married and it is not their fault, but there are also women who never got married because their mindset is completely against getting married and even though they act like they want to get married, they are not looking to get married.

I hope I did not confuse you more.

Jacques

Thank you for looking at the issue from many sides. I appreciate that and I know other women will as well.
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Jul 8th 2013 new
(quote) Mar-986248 said: I think it depends on the other person's age and gender. I know the last part sounds biased, but, let's face it, guys pretty much do the asking so a woman is dependent on him to actually pop the question...so to me it would seem a woman in her 40's would be looked upon differently (maybe a little, maybe a lot) than a man in his 40's remaining unmarried.

Also some single parents prefer other single parents as a lifestyle choice and in those cases it wouldn't matter your age nor gender, just if you do or don't have kids (pls understand these are generalizations though).

In any case Ann, when its right it will be right and your age or status will not matter to him.
It seems to me that it is only logical fro a man to get your story and to hang around long enough to get that story from you as a woman. Some women are not going to spill every fact about themselves or their life in a preliminary question and answer session.
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Jul 9th 2013 new
I said if you are divorced you are not free to marry in the church as the church still considers you still married...if you get annulled then it is like you were never married....and the only people I would not date are the ones that say they are Divorced......... I want a marriage in the Church with all it's Blessings...
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Jul 9th 2013 new
I would say not if you are a woman. However, a man needs to be "broken in" so to speak. I am hesitant about a man who has never been married by the time he is a senior citizen. The question being, did he choose not to or have woman found him to be an un-likely candidate? More power to you. Maryjane
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