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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 10th 2013 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: The site provides a database of members who share (or claim to) a common faith, self-provided information about those users, and tools to seek out and communicate with other members of the site. While CM provides a matching tool that uses an extensive set of criteria to attempt to identify members who might be compatible, it is ultimately up to each member to make use of these tools and initiate contact with other members. I have never seen CM claim, or even suggest, that it would initiate contact between members, and they certainly have no control over whether the other members respond to contact attempts.

Modern society is very ego-centric, and the CM membership is not immune from this malady. Peruse the forums and you will see many and frequent complaints of the same nature as yours.

Is there a problem? Absolutely. Is it CM's fault? Not that I can see....

From a programmers perspective, one is going to take the user input to produce a customized output. When one stipulates, no long distance relationships in their profile, this means no out of state, out of country listings should appear in matches or otherwise. The automation in the process is what's lacking, you still need a human being involved. To see the "match results" pointing me towards unattractive, unavailable, women that have miles in their history, several kids in the picture "and the kids are always their entire world", doesn't provide accurate results from someone without those. Sure, it's nice for them to have a "fling" with a bachelor, but that is all that it's about. Women that have been through marriages, have children, don't tend to mix all that well with men that have had neither, most that try to make that work, it ends in disaster, and I'm supposed to just compromise is what this place is getting at.

Adding onto it, to have within ones profile, huge criteria here and specifically why one is supposed to be here in the first place, full compliance with the churches teachings, and the results are women that do not embrace that....I can go to any random place in the world, much less the web, and find plenty that are not complying with the churches teachings. Why would you pay to find these same here? We are then told to work the forums, like it's not enough to have a profile and to be sending ice breaker PM's, that are largely ignored, means they haven't set up enough behind this place to allow it to work on it's own. If I wanted to use the internet to find a date, I have my own web sites I can post them on, beginning with my company web site for the business I own, the only thing I'd have to do is state in my bio that I'm single.

The bottom line, we are paying for a service that's not really a service, but a poorly designed web site, lacking significantly in back end scripting and sophistication, completely devoid of the human element outside of the tremendous amount of work one has to do, in order to get noticed on these forums. I can think of a myriad of things that could be done, that would be done if I was running this place, and I could justify it since it's a money maker. As an expert web designer and developer, I always tell my clients, start out with something limited and free, if it's making money, invest in a more robust and ongoing set of back and and front end applications and scripts. I'm not seeing this here, I'm seeing the absolute least these guys can do to get away with out having to shell out a single dime so they can sit back and rake in the profits with the most minimal of efforts in the process.

Wonderful business model they have going here, then again, we always have slum lords in the real world, can't see why the internet would be any different.
Jul 10th 2013 new
(quote) Brian-906925 said: From a programmers perspective, one is going to take the user input to produce a customized output. When one stipulates, no long distance relationships in their profile, this means no out of state, out of country listings should appear in matches or otherwise. The automation in the process is what's lacking, you still need a human being involved. To see the "match results" pointing me towards unattractive, unavailable, women that have miles in their history, several kids in the picture "and the kids are always their entire world", doesn't provide accurate results from someone without those. Sure, it's nice for them to have a "fling" with a bachelor, but that is all that it's about. Women that have been through marriages, have children, don't tend to mix all that well with men that have had neither, most that try to make that work, it ends in disaster, and I'm supposed to just compromise is what this place is getting at.

Adding onto it, to have within ones profile, huge criteria here and specifically why one is supposed to be here in the first place, full compliance with the churches teachings, and the results are women that do not embrace that....I can go to any random place in the world, much less the web, and find plenty that are not complying with the churches teachings. Why would you pay to find these same here? We are then told to work the forums, like it's not enough to have a profile and to be sending ice breaker PM's, that are largely ignored, means they haven't set up enough behind this place to allow it to work on it's own. If I wanted to use the internet to find a date, I have my own web sites I can post them on, beginning with my company web site for the business I own, the only thing I'd have to do is state in my bio that I'm single.

The bottom line, we are paying for a service that's not really a service, but a poorly designed web site, lacking significantly in back end scripting and sophistication, completely devoid of the human element outside of the tremendous amount of work one has to do, in order to get noticed on these forums. I can think of a myriad of things that could be done, that would be done if I was running this place, and I could justify it since it's a money maker. As an expert web designer and developer, I always tell my clients, start out with something limited and free, if it's making money, invest in a more robust and ongoing set of back and and front end applications and scripts. I'm not seeing this here, I'm seeing the absolute least these guys can do to get away with out having to shell out a single dime so they can sit back and rake in the profits with the most minimal of efforts in the process.

Wonderful business model they have going here, then again, we always have slum lords in the real world, can't see why the internet would be any different.
I thought you were going to leave. Okay, okay, the site is horrible; we've heard it a million times.
Jul 10th 2013 new
(quote) Brian-906925 said: From a programmers perspective, one is going to take the user input to produce a customized output. When one stipulates, no long distance relationships in their profile, this means no out of state, out of country listings should appear in matches or otherwise. The automation in the process is what's lacking, you still need a human being involved. To see the "match results" pointing me towards unattractive, unavailable, women that have miles in their history, several kids in the picture "and the kids are always their entire world", doesn't provide accurate results from someone without those. Sure, it's nice for them to have a "fling" with a bachelor, but that is all that it's about. Women that have been through marriages, have children, don't tend to mix all that well with men that have had neither, most that try to make that work, it ends in disaster, and I'm supposed to just compromise is what this place is getting at.

Adding onto it, to have within ones profile, huge criteria here and specifically why one is supposed to be here in the first place, full compliance with the churches teachings, and the results are women that do not embrace that....I can go to any random place in the world, much less the web, and find plenty that are not complying with the churches teachings. Why would you pay to find these same here? We are then told to work the forums, like it's not enough to have a profile and to be sending ice breaker PM's, that are largely ignored, means they haven't set up enough behind this place to allow it to work on it's own. If I wanted to use the internet to find a date, I have my own web sites I can post them on, beginning with my company web site for the business I own, the only thing I'd have to do is state in my bio that I'm single.

The bottom line, we are paying for a service that's not really a service, but a poorly designed web site, lacking significantly in back end scripting and sophistication, completely devoid of the human element outside of the tremendous amount of work one has to do, in order to get noticed on these forums. I can think of a myriad of things that could be done, that would be done if I was running this place, and I could justify it since it's a money maker. As an expert web designer and developer, I always tell my clients, start out with something limited and free, if it's making money, invest in a more robust and ongoing set of back and and front end applications and scripts. I'm not seeing this here, I'm seeing the absolute least these guys can do to get away with out having to shell out a single dime so they can sit back and rake in the profits with the most minimal of efforts in the process.

Wonderful business model they have going here, then again, we always have slum lords in the real world, can't see why the internet would be any different.
As I read your post, all I could think was, are you wanting a drive-through matchmaking service?

"Hi, welcome to McBride's, can I take your order?"
"Yes, I'll have the Bride-in-a-box special, hold the kids."
"Can I interest you some in-laws today, sir?"
"No, just the bride, thanks."
"Okay, sir. Our computer will calculate your perfect match in just 2 seconds. Please pull around."
<perfect woman with no family and no kids gets in passenger seat>
"Have a nice life, sir and madam!"
<happy couple drives away into the sunset>

Sound unrealistic? It is. No programmer has yet written code that will find your perfect match. Especially if you're not willing to put in a little effort. I'm not sure what else to tell you. CM is not perfect - no site is. Maybe you should see about applying for a job with CM so you can work to implement the changes you believe will make things better...?
Jul 10th 2013 new
Welcome to the forums, Cynthia!

I joined this site because I learned that my faith was of primary importance to me in finding a spouse - something I wish I had learned earlier in life. I've stayed on this site for the same reason, but also for the friendships I've developed here.

Jul 10th 2013 new
well said, Keith!
Jul 10th 2013 new
I joined this site to me people of my own faith and to become friends. Out of the 6 people I have sent a message to, 2 have responded. Maybe my expectations are to high. I joined this site last week by the way. Is 2 out of 6 what is the norm? Maybe I don't get it. Is this a CatholicMatch site? 2 out of 6 is great if your a baseball player ( batting 333). I am not a baseball player!

Jim
Jul 10th 2013 new

Well, I figured that the other sites have all sorts of women looking for all sorts of relationships I am really not interested in. I figured that, on the other sites, there are plenty of women who just want to talk, or women who just want to flirt, or women who want a "mnage a trois", or women who want a on-night stand, or women who just want cybersex. I am not interested in any of that.

I imagined that this catholicmatch.com site would have women who seriously want a mate for a long term relationship, women who have already made up their minds that that is what they want. I was hoping that the women on this site would be more receptive to men's "signals" (emoticons, messages, profile visits and the like), would be bold enough to respond without further ado, or would signal to a man that he is not too far from meeting their requirements. I imagined that those requirements would not be next to impossible to meet, given that the women really want a man.

After three months on this site, I simply don't know.

Jul 10th 2013 new
Jul 10th 2013 new
Sounds like you've got a good CM average going from the stories I've heard.
Jul 10th 2013 new
Hm, that was supposed to be reply to Jim.
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