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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 9th 2013 new
(quote) Alex-789274 said: This appears contradictory.

You want us to tell you something about us, should it be personal? While we are supposed to ask questions, we are not supposed to ask personal ones. What should we ask?

I think Ann can answer for herself, but if I can chime in too:

Some subjects require some tact in how they are addressed, and probably should be discussed only when you get to know each other a bit better. Online messaging back and forth and even a first face-to-face meeting are get-to-know-the-other-person opportunities. Personal conversations are for when you know the person a bit better.

Examples of acceptable early "personal" questions / conversations:

"Did you grow up around here or are you from somewhere else originally?"

"I grew up in . Where are you from?"

"I love that song. I play it the piano all of the time. Do you play a musical instrument?"

Examples of unacceptable early "personal" questions:

"So how much money do you make in a year? I like to know up front because I want to marry someone who can support a family."

"Have you had your sperm count checked by a doctor? I want to have children."

"Are you still fertile? I want to marry someone who can have children."

"You said you have a sister and a brother-in-law. Are they married or do they just live together?"

"Where do you keep your toenail clippers? The nail on my big toe is catching a thread on my sock."

Jul 9th 2013 new
(quote) Angela-374523 said:

I think Ann can answer for herself, but if I can chime in too:

Some subjects require some tact in how they are addressed, and probably should be discussed only when you get to know each other a bit better. Online messaging back and forth and even a first face-to-face meeting are get-to-know-the-other-person opportunities. Personal conversations are for when you know the person a bit better.

Examples of acceptable early "personal" questions / conversations:

"Did you grow up around here or are you from somewhere else originally?"

"I grew up in . Where are you from?"

"I love that song. I play it the piano all of the time. Do you play a musical instrument?"

Examples of unacceptable early "personal" questions:

"So how much money do you make in a year? I like to know up front because I want to marry someone who can support a family."

"Have you had your sperm count checked by a doctor? I want to have children."

"Are you still fertile? I want to marry someone who can have children."

"You said you have a sister and a brother-in-law. Are they married or do they just live together?"

"Where do you keep your toenail clippers? The nail on my big toe is catching a thread on my sock."

Thanks for the clarification. I would term the latter set private information.
Jul 9th 2013 new
(quote) Ann-69118 said: What would you pass on to the other gender regarding using this site:

1) If you don't read the whole profile at least read the about me and seeking sections.
2) Please smile in your photos
3) Please post photos
4) Give more than a two line description of who you are.
5) Make Contact
6) Don't ask personal questions right off it's very rude
7) Ask us questions and tell us something about yourself
8) Try exploring and using features of the site you leave untouched
Very good checklist. And I might add toss in some humor in your early messages. It helps see if your sense of humor is a match.
Jul 9th 2013 new
(quote) Ann-69118 said: What would you pass on to the other gender regarding using this site:

1) If you don't read the whole profile at least read the about me and seeking sections.
2) Please smile in your photos
3) Please post photos
4) Give more than a two line description of who you are.
5) Make Contact
6) Don't ask personal questions right off it's very rude
7) Ask us questions and tell us something about yourself
8) Try exploring and using features of the site you leave untouched
Hi Ann,

I agree I like your checklist - very thorough, very well thought out. I especially like (3), please post photos. I just won't communicate with a ghost.

Now for a tip for your gender. Try to be original in your profile. Please, no more "honesty" stuff - "I'm looking for an honest man," or "I value honesty," or the like. 'scuse me, but I never thought of myself as anything but honest. Why mention it? Sounds just a little insulting. I'm just saying.

Good luck and God bless, Doug
Jul 9th 2013 new
I didn't mention it in my profile---honest! angel
Jul 9th 2013 new
(quote) Doug-974859 said: ...."I value honesty," ...I never thought of myself as anything but honest. Why mention it?
My observation has been, when people mention they want a specific trait like this, it means they have been badly burned in the past.
Jul 9th 2013 new
clap
Jul 10th 2013 new
(quote) Angela-374523 said:

I think Ann can answer for herself, but if I can chime in too:

Some subjects require some tact in how they are addressed, and probably should be discussed only when you get to know each other a bit better. Online messaging back and forth and even a first face-to-face meeting are get-to-know-the-other-person opportunities. Personal conversations are for when you know the person a bit better.

Examples of acceptable early "personal" questions / conversations:

"Did you grow up around here or are you from somewhere else originally?"

"I grew up in . Where are you from?"

"I love that song. I play it the piano all of the time. Do you play a musical instrument?"

Examples of unacceptable early "personal" questions:

"So how much money do you make in a year? I like to know up front because I want to marry someone who can support a family."

"Have you had your sperm count checked by a doctor? I want to have children."

"Are you still fertile? I want to marry someone who can have children."

"You said you have a sister and a brother-in-law. Are they married or do they just live together?"

"Where do you keep your toenail clippers? The nail on my big toe is catching a thread on my sock."

I agree with what Angela is saying in that we have to carefully choose what topics we discuss early on. But the real reason I am responding is the last question gave me a good laugh! laughing Thanks Angela. Guess I will have to clip my toenails before I go on the date or if my big toe is catching a thread if I'm at her place, I'll have to ditch my socks so I won't have to ask that question. wink
Jul 10th 2013 new
(quote) Patrick-872788 said: My advice to everyone regardless of gender is to relax. This board is full of more angst than a John Hughes movie marathon.

I predict this thread will be locked before 75 posts. Threads in which women and men critique each other do not go well.
John Hughes - right on! laughing

Just be yourself. Be charitable. Be real. Don't pretend to be someone you're not to keep the other interested. Ask yourself if you really are ready to date and meet someone. Have fun. Don't be too attached especially if you haven't met face to face , well , even if you met face to face - discern if they are the one whom God wants for you, rise above emotions. Encourage each other to grow in our Catholic faith. Don't take it personal if things didn't work out. Pray for each other...





Jul 10th 2013 new
Okay, I am guilty, I think I mention the word "honesty" about 110 times in my profille. I will take a second look at it.
I have to agree with those who have said "smile" in your photos. I look at some of the pictures and they remind me of mug shots! Scary! Also post a variety of pictures. A guy whose profile I looked at yesterday had about a dozen shots of himself in different areas and poses in his living room. The room was very nice.. nice furniture, but it didn't say a lot about the guy.
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