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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 10th 2013 new
(quote) John-971967 said: Well, normally I wouldn't comment, but since you presented this for me to read and seek an answer, I would say:

If in fact you present yourself to a woman like you present this to all to read here, than this should not surprise you: my answer to your questions is YES. You know that already and just are not willing to do more about it, but whine.
oy I just dodged a bullet here. Ouch.
Jul 10th 2013 new
(quote) Carlos-977696 said: oy I just dodged a bullet here. Ouch.
Carlos, nothing personal bud, but you pulled the trigger, not me! I am just holding up the mirror so you can see what you just did. You asked for it. If you don't like it, put on the man that God intends you to be.
Jul 10th 2013 new
(quote) Carlos-977696 said: I just received a message from someone saying it was all my fault, that I moved to fast with this lady. Haven't you people never felt such a connection with someone, you didnt want to stop talking? Why do people always blame me during dates? Am I so imperfect and pathetic to women? I give up, I'm closing my business right now. I'm never going to write to another woman again.
Carlos,

Just an observation..... Don't shoot the messenger....

It seems to me that to a large extent you are creating your own reality on this web site. You express and write things like #1) "Why do people always blame me..."; #2) "Am I so imperfect and pathetic to women?"; #3) "I'm closing my business right now."; #4) "I'm never going to write to another woman again." With very frequent comments like this (and there have been many), it seems to me that you are going to repel the most well-intentioned of women.

If someone is meeting you online for the very first time by reading your forum comments and profile, who are they to argue with your perception of who you are? After all, you have known yourself for 32+ years while they have not even met you in person. If you begin presenting a positive image of yourself, then you will very likely get farther into conversations with women. In many ways this process is somewhat like a job interview. You simply aren't going to land that great job by presenting yourself with comments like those (#1 - #4) that were highlighted above. Even if you don't feel all that positive about yourself, act positive (fake it if you have to) until your internal feelings about yourself match the positive image that you present. Right now, you are doing the opposite. You are presenting a great deal of negativity (IMHO) that is obscuring many of your good qualities.... to the extent that your good qualities appear smaller and smaller and smaller over time.

Just look at the negative way in which you responded to Kenny's very thoughtful prayer for you. Not even a simple thank you for his gesture toward you. Quit wallowing in self-pity and at least respond positively to people's positive comments about/for you.

I will jump into my foxhole now so that I don't get hit with any incoming rocks. wave

Just my thoughts.

Ed
Jul 10th 2013 new
You know what I really don't care anymore if girls like me or not, if they believe what is written here or not. I'm just tired of this. I'm tired of trying and failing on and on. Tired, tired, tired.
Jul 10th 2013 new
That's what I'm talking about Carlos... You are completely focusing inwardly on yourself and presenting a great deal of negativity in the process. Why would a woman be attacted to such behavior?.... They wouldn't. You are setting yourself up for certain failure with such behavior.

Ed
Jul 10th 2013 new
Exactly Ed that's the idea.
Jul 10th 2013 new
I should even rearange my profile making it woman unfriendly. Hmmm what should I say....I'll to think about the worst of the worst.
Jul 10th 2013 new
Carlos,

Just keep digging your personal hole deeper.... Good luck with that strategy. Why don't you step out of the hole, fill it in with your shovel and move on with your life? Stop wallowing.

Ed
Jul 10th 2013 new
You can help out by getting another shovel and bury me faster, because when I've put my best foot forward and have showed the best but only the best of me I always get rejected, and when I talk about it everyone criticises me for liking science fiction, living far away, getting hung up too soon, that my profile pictures is too weird, that I mispelled a word, that Im not goodlooking ect....so get your shovel because it is the same if I do my best or if I le and say bad thigs about myself.
Jul 10th 2013 new
(quote) Carlos-977696 said: Why am I then the only one here who doesn't feel loved by him at the moment? All of my friends and family are married except me, does this make me the disfunctional son, the forgotten one? Does God love the other people more than me, because he decided that I were to remain alone? I wonder, because his love doesnt make any sense.

www.youtube.com

We are probably just a little more work for Him to handle finding the perfect mate for. That shows me that He loves the single siblings more. God doesn't make everyone equal, America does (i can personally tell you he hasn't made me the shiniest apple in the orchard in the Algebra department because i still haven't gotten mine done for the day). He doesn't give everyone the same amount or like chances to heaven, a good attitude, or a mate, that is our job.
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