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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jul 12th 2013 new
Brian please do not tell me women are the weaker sex, I was raped at 21 and I said no but he did not care... so you can not prove that by me.... Many women are raped every day by men.. so please do not call us the weaker sex we did not want it but had no control over them...

do you know what it is like to be held down against your will and have a man take what he wants against your will... it is not fun it is a night mare and it still haunts me...
Jul 12th 2013 new
(quote) Brian-906925 said: It seems the theme here, all about man bashing in regards to purity. As a man, I hold high value upon it, and there is a ton of pressure from gals in and out of the church insisting upon premarital relations. To express being devoted to the church, automatically places me outside of their scope, agenda, and world, and they may not say it out right, their actions speak loudly. We are indeed a rare breed, both genders, to keep ones self pure, but if you keep in mind, you when you finally enter into marriage, you won't be bringing in unnecessary baggage, it holds a great deal of weight and you are giving a tremendous gift to them due to it.

I had a conversation with a gal a month or so ago, one of the ones I knew from high school, and she makes this statement, that when you are "our" age, you can't help be be bringing in ones baggage into the scene. I could tell by her mannerisms and disposition, she has had a lot of miles on her in this department, and I was tempted to interject, by saying "speak for yourself lady",. But, this whole, at your age thing is what bothers me the most.

I have had a few girlfriends, not a giant list at all, and it was their extensive baggage that made it difficult to remain in the relationship. I was expected to draw upon some fictional past series of relationships to know how to interact as a husband and father, even though I have never been either, and no amount of intuition or observation on my end could make up for it. I don't waste time pursuing any gal that has extensive baggage, and yes, it has automatically forced me to tend to seek ones much younger then myself, the fact is, especially in this area, I'm more equally yolked with those type, then the typical 40 something year old.

The whole 38-70 year match making comment, you can't be serious? At the age of 70, I think you pretty much need to keep focused on preparing for your last days on this earth, not pursuing a 38 year old gal, that is just ridicules. And no, you don't have to be thinking that it's necessary to pursue old men like that just because they are the only ones that are pure, what a bleak outlook.

Guys don't advertise their purity, it's just not done, but I have to admit, some can be dogs in this area, yet I'm going to make this very clear. The woman is the weaker sex, more prone to giving into temptation. I observe things even on these forums, where that point is made very, very clear, including commandments broken, one of them being, "Though shalt not bear false witness."....

I can understand what you are talking about. I hate that whole thing of "at your age", you should have baggage. Why just because everyone else is sleeping around you must too?

I hate to be the discordant one with Catholic values and all. But from a practical standpoint if you have the goal of marriage then don't have pre-marital sex. People out in the world today think it is absolutely essential to see if you are compatible in this way as well before marriage. I say why can't you just talk about what you like?

Sorry but I don't think women give more into temptation. They feel pressured because most guys expect just that.

As to a 38 with a 70 year old no I wouldn't want a 70 year old but hey there are a few who maybe don't mind. The way that things are looking though I might have to settle for one.
Jul 12th 2013 new
I'm am truly sorry and empathise with what happened to you, just understand though, it has formed and tainted your perspective of men in general. Men among men just don't brag about things like that happening, they shun it, and this includes abuse of any kind. Don't think it's supported, the norm, nor acceptable behavior by any many worth his weight in dirt.

The comment about the weaker sex, it's supported in scripture, and it's a quote from a very wise women that I used to know. She was honest, very honest and this is the whole key to it all, being real and truthful. Take note, when you are at mass, how many of the young ladies are wearing tight fitting, revealing clothing, and then take note as to the men's attire. The fact is, even there, it's clear to observe, we aren't advertising our sex appeal like the opposite sex is. Look at make up for another example, it used to be mainly worn by prostitutes, to entice their clientele, it's not common place. Look to the evolution of the bathing suite, another example, and it's not men's where that's been progressively becoming more revealing, it's women's wear.

To imply now there are two men you know who are pure, implies that it's so rare, at your age, of all of your travels, of all of the men you know, or have known, only two stand out as being pure? This is absolutely a very limited perspective and it's not true. Look around these forums, there are many men that are here looking for a Catholic wife that is in full union with the churches teachings, this includes it's perspective along pre-marital relations. If they are seeking this, surely they aren't disobeying it themselves....
Jul 12th 2013 new
I also find it very amusing, where I was being bashed for making the statement, that I may verily end up with a twenty something year old gal, and it get's turned around that I'm looking for a 20 year old gal, and post after post, getting hit left and right along the matter.. And here, we have just the opposite argument, again, both arguments pro and against, made by you ladies. I wish you would make up your mind at least, lol.
Jul 12th 2013 new
(quote) Brian-906925 said: I'm am truly sorry and empathise with what happened to you, just understand though, it has formed and tainted your perspective of men in general. Men among men just don't brag about things like that happening, they shun it, and this includes abuse of any kind. Don't think it's supported, the norm, nor acceptable behavior by any many worth his weight in dirt.

The comment about the weaker sex, it's supported in scripture, and it's a quote from a very wise women that I used to know. She was honest, very honest and this is the whole key to it all, being real and truthful. Take note, when you are at mass, how many of the young ladies are wearing tight fitting, revealing clothing, and then take note as to the men's attire. The fact is, even there, it's clear to observe, we aren't advertising our sex appeal like the opposite sex is. Look at make up for another example, it used to be mainly worn by prostitutes, to entice their clientele, it's not common place. Look to the evolution of the bathing suite, another example, and it's not men's where that's been progressively becoming more revealing, it's women's wear.

To imply now there are two men you know who are pure, implies that it's so rare, at your age, of all of your travels, of all of the men you know, or have known, only two stand out as being pure? This is absolutely a very limited perspective and it's not true. Look around these forums, there are many men that are here looking for a Catholic wife that is in full union with the churches teachings, this includes it's perspective along pre-marital relations. If they are seeking this, surely they aren't disobeying it themselves....
They do this because men look at a women more when they are wearing revealing clothes. And yes I have seen girls in church who dress inappropriately.

As to women being the weaker sex, I say baloney! I don't care if its the Bible. A man of those times wrote that.
Jul 12th 2013 new
Brian -- women are physically weaker, not spiritually weaker -- note how many women go to daily or Sunday Mass vs men there (5-1 in my church). Men are usually the ones with masturbation and pornography addictions -- statistics show a much higher percentage of men than women. Women want to look nice -- unfortunately many women don't understand modest dressing because they don't have such sexual reactions as men to skimpy attire so don't know what they are doing -- so women follow the fashion trends many times without meaning to arouse others. But women would not dress that way if the men in their lives confessed what their reactions were, how they see women as objects for pleasure, not really human, when they dress that way. I believe if fathers and husbands would man up and explain the troubles with immodest dressing and even forbid their children or wives from dressing so revealingly, then we could stop this trend. I have 4 daughters -- I've taught them to be modest -- and my 2 sons too -- but it's difficult in this culture to even find modest clothing! My ex wanted me to dress revealing all so he could have bragging rights on what a sexy dish he had to use any time he wanted -- not good in any way. There are pure men and women -- may God bless us all with wisdom, strength, purity, no matter where we have been in our lives.
Jul 12th 2013 new
(quote) Brian-906925 said: I'm am truly sorry and empathise with what happened to you, just understand though, it has formed and tainted your perspective of men in general. Men among men just don't brag about things like that happening, they shun it, and this includes abuse of any kind. Don't think it's supported, the norm, nor acceptable behavior by any many worth his weight in dirt.

The comment about the weaker sex, it's supported in scripture, and it's a quote from a very wise women that I used to know. She was honest, very honest and this is the whole key to it all, being real and truthful. Take note, when you are at mass, how many of the young ladies are wearing tight fitting, revealing clothing, and then take note as to the men's attire. The fact is, even there, it's clear to observe, we aren't advertising our sex appeal like the opposite sex is. Look at make up for another example, it used to be mainly worn by prostitutes, to entice their clientele, it's not common place. Look to the evolution of the bathing suite, another example, and it's not men's where that's been progressively becoming more revealing, it's women's wear.

To imply now there are two men you know who are pure, implies that it's so rare, at your age, of all of your travels, of all of the men you know, or have known, only two stand out as being pure? This is absolutely a very limited perspective and it's not true. Look around these forums, there are many men that are here looking for a Catholic wife that is in full union with the churches teachings, this includes it's perspective along pre-marital relations. If they are seeking this, surely they aren't disobeying it themselves....
Brian I think You are the tainted one... I am not tainted but what one man did to me, I am grateful I came out alive, with just a beaten and rape....Yes it haunts me but I do not look at all me the same.. each of you are different...I do not blame all men for what one did to me...
Yes I look in church I see men in jeans and cut off jeans I see some men put a hand on some girl he is with on her butt.... Yes a lot of women dress sexy but that is what most men want....

You know I wear turtle neck shirt or blouses buttoned to the top and men still comment on my chest, I hate it ...some men are nice I do not say all men....

I listen to me how they talk about women and who they the night before so don't tell me, you guys do not talk about you do, May a few of you do not but a lot do..., I see men on a beach with a skimpy tight bathing suit that leaves nothing to the imagination. so do say it is just women... I see the way men look at women who have tight clothing on they should look away, then maybe women will get the message and start dressing proper... there are good and bad in both sexes don't lay it all on women...

I had plenty of dates when I was younger and had to tell them no many many time, sometimes I felt like I was dating an octopus their hands were all over the place and I always dressed proper.. I even wear a head covering in church...

and the subject of make up it is not only for whores as you say... all women were some, I wear make up but I do not put it on with a trowel. make up enhances a women and not like you say..... I am sorry but I disagree with you and I have found out you one other topic you always put them down.. so I do not expect this to be any different...
Jul 12th 2013 new
(quote) Brian-906925 said: I also find it very amusing, where I was being bashed for making the statement, that I may verily end up with a twenty something year old gal, and it get's turned around that I'm looking for a 20 year old gal, and post after post, getting hit left and right along the matter.. And here, we have just the opposite argument, again, both arguments pro and against, made by you ladies. I wish you would make up your mind at least, lol.
You should go for any women no matter the age as long as the both of you do not mind.. it is non of anyone elses business, if you and a 20 year old can find love, God Speed. and he will bless your marriage... Everyone has their own preference... I find a lot of the girls today are just as bad as the guys about sex...I read Face book and it is horrible.. but that is between them and God no one else. They will answer for it....

I worry about me and take care not to fall in to mortal sin... I do adhere to the church teaching. And will continue till I die....I will worry about what I am doing not anyone else... I will tell women about being pure and it is a sin again the church and God, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink... so many guys and girls do not even go to church...All I can do is tell them about it and hope they change before it is too late..... and you comment about us making up our minds, we are all different, we are not the same if we were we would all be very dull people...Everyone has a different opinion on age differences.... as I said before my late husband was 18 years older than me, it turned out not so good but that was his fault not mine. I kept my vows till the day he dies, he chose not to. told him he could leave I would not fight a divorce, I told him not to let the door hit him on the ass on the way out. he chose to stay, I told him we would live like brother and sister as He would never share my bed again... I forgave him the first time and the second third was too much.. I took care of him as a wife should for the next 19 years even when he was sick I did what I vowed to do till he died.,....and not I do not think all men are like him...I do not judge all people the same, each of us is different.... I have had my bumps and bruised but God has been there for me and I had my two little dogs chi's to help me through when I thought I could not make it.. ..So I leave you with this all people are different no two are the same. God made us that way...
Jul 12th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: Brian -- women are physically weaker, not spiritually weaker -- note how many women go to daily or Sunday Mass vs men there (5-1 in my church). Men are usually the ones with masturbation and pornography addictions -- statistics show a much higher percentage of men than women. Women want to look nice -- unfortunately many women don't understand modest dressing because they don't have such sexual reactions as men to skimpy attire so don't know what they are doing -- so women follow the fashion trends many times without meaning to arouse others. But women would not dress that way if the men in their lives confessed what their reactions were, how they see women as objects for pleasure, not really human, when they dress that way. I believe if fathers and husbands would man up and explain the troubles with immodest dressing and even forbid their children or wives from dressing so revealingly, then we could stop this trend. I have 4 daughters -- I've taught them to be modest -- and my 2 sons too -- but it's difficult in this culture to even find modest clothing! My ex wanted me to dress revealing all so he could have bragging rights on what a sexy dish he had to use any time he wanted -- not good in any way. There are pure men and women -- may God bless us all with wisdom, strength, purity, no matter where we have been in our lives.
Thank you Rachel for you help with Brian...
Jul 12th 2013 new
(quote) Michelle-985969 said: I can understand what you are talking about. I hate that whole thing of "at your age", you should have baggage. Why just because everyone else is sleeping around you must too?

I hate to be the discordant one with Catholic values and all. But from a practical standpoint if you have the goal of marriage then don't have pre-marital sex. People out in the world today think it is absolutely essential to see if you are compatible in this way as well before marriage. I say why can't you just talk about what you like?

Sorry but I don't think women give more into temptation. They feel pressured because most guys expect just that.

As to a 38 with a 70 year old no I wouldn't want a 70 year old but hey there are a few who maybe don't mind. The way that things are looking though I might have to settle for one.
Age should not matter if you really love someone...
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