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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 12th 2013 new
She would need to have a lot of trust too for that. lol
Jul 12th 2013 new
(quote) Ann-69118 said: She would need to have a lot of trust too for that. lol
Trust is important in any relationship! wink
Jul 12th 2013 new
(quote) Matt-61677 said: Trust is important in any relationship!


I agree with you Matt..throw in laughter and sensitivity and then a potential relationship may have a chance...Maybe ,,,,,I'm not too smart at this stuff,,,I was married all my life.....I'm still in the early 1980's in a way...
Jul 12th 2013 new
I see so many people--mostly guys--with a requirement or strong desire for an "athletic" or "physically fit" (read: "thin") partner that it seems no one is interested in anyone with a few extra pounds, much less "chubby". Ironically, sometimes even guys who struggle with the same issue (weight) won't put up with it in women. It makes me feel as though if you are not the "right" size you might as well hang it up for online dating, because a person would have to have a chance to get to know you first and see how wonderful you can be, and no one wants to give people that chance here, based on a photo alone, it seems.
Jul 12th 2013 new
(quote) Kenny-949632 said:


So beautifully stated....!
Thank you Kenny. biggrin

I just thought of this: that most things that really do come from the heart probably are beautifully stated because they come from a place of love and God, Himself, is love. heart

I hope everyone is having a beautiful evening. I'm trying to decide what I'm going to do tonight. : )
Jul 12th 2013 new
(quote) Angela-965276 said: I believe that our world has recreated what is acceptable. There was a time when a skinny woman was considered undesirable because it was a sign that she didn't eat well, thus making her poor. It's a shallow way of categorizing, but it is a great way to illustrate what drives us. In this day and age we have a new idea of what is wanted and the rest of the world has very little say in the matter.
I don't think that someone with extra pounds is not worth making a connection with (and I would be a huge hypocrite if I did). I honestly care about the person inside, and the physical attraction is something that comes later. When I care about the personality then I see their traits come out in physical form... if that makes sense.
But biologically, we are always drawn to the member of the opposite sex who is pleasing to the eye.

Nothing is going to change that.

A woman smiles at a man she thinks is good-looking; it is an automatic and normal reaction. A man is attracted to a physically-attractive woman; this is totally normal.

We can go on and on about compassion, understanding, seeing inside the person, et cetera. It's all true, but we are physical beings as well as spiritual ones; realistically, we are going to end up with someone who has a similar level of looks to our own.


Jul 12th 2013 new
A similar "level" of looks? That reminds me of the old joke bit on Saturday Night Live, "Lowered Expectations" dating service, for the ugly, fat people. I thought it was sad and pathetic then, when I was in my twenties and in great shape, and now, when I am in my late forties and not so perfect anymore.

My late husband and I had a wonderful, blissful marriage and neither of us felt that way about finding someone to match our "level of looks". Our attraction to one another was based on some physical things, yes--I loved his warm brown eyes and long eyelashes, and the way his lower lip would pooch out a little when he was unhappy, and he liked my long hair and laugh. But mostly, we were not worried about getting bogged down in things like "well, gee, I really could do "better" then him/her, because my looks are on another "level". I see so many people who are both gorgeous break up after a month or two long marriage while there are couples where you might find yourself thinking "what does he/she see in her/him?" and they are obviously very much in love.

I just think people are really cutting themselves off from a wide variety of potential matches when using looks as the primary standard in deciding who to contact here. Some people just don't photograph well, no matter what. Others might be a bit heavy, or bald, or maybe they have been in an accident and are missing a limb or are confined to a wheelchair, even. Should they always be written off because of those things?

I cannot imagine that anyone here could want a better marriage than I had with my late husband, and over our years together we both went back and forth in attractiveness "levels" and were seldom in the same one at the same time. But neither of us cared. I'm sure glad we gave each other a chance. I'm also sad to see more people don't.
Jul 12th 2013 new
I agree with William. I don't think it is wrong to be attracted to a certain "type." I see athletic, handsome men with chubby women as well as chubby men with pretty, thin women as well as any other combination of attributes you can think of. It isn't shallow to be human. Is a man with a "chubby" wife not shallow? Do women who marry chubby men all actually prefer athletic men?

If you are trusting biology to find a spouse, then you have to accept what biology dictates. If you are trusting God to find a spouse, then you will have to settle for perfection.
Jul 12th 2013 new
(quote) Kerry-970208 said: A similar "level" of looks? That reminds me of the old joke bit on Saturday Night Live, "Lowered Expectations" dating service, for the ugly, fat people. I thought it was sad and pathetic then, when I was in my twenties and in great shape, and now, when I am in my late forties and not so perfect anymore.

My late husband and I had a wonderful, blissful marriage and neither of us felt that way about finding someone to match our "level of looks". Our attraction to one another was based on some physical things, yes--I loved his warm brown eyes and long eyelashes, and the way his lower lip would pooch out a little when he was unhappy, and he liked my long hair and laugh. But mostly, we were not worried about getting bogged down in things like "well, gee, I really could do "better" then him/her, because my looks are on another "level". I see so many people who are both gorgeous break up after a month or two long marriage while there are couples where you might find yourself thinking "what does he/she see in her/him?" and they are obviously very much in love.

I just think people are really cutting themselves off from a wide variety of potential matches when using looks as the primary standard in deciding who to contact here. Some people just don't photograph well, no matter what. Others might be a bit heavy, or bald, or maybe they have been in an accident and are missing a limb or are confined to a wheelchair, even. Should they always be written off because of those things?

I cannot imagine that anyone here could want a better marriage than I had with my late husband, and over our years together we both went back and forth in attractiveness "levels" and were seldom in the same one at the same time. But neither of us cared. I'm sure glad we gave each other a chance. I'm also sad to see more people don't.
Kerry,

It sounds as if you and your husband were comparable in your appearances; you clearly met a man in which you had eyes for no other.

I'm not suggesting that everyone is consciously looking for a certain "level" of looks in a partner; I'm stating that we simply end up this way. (I'm certainly not suggesting writing anyone off; you are taking some liberties with my words.) When we meet the spouse of someone we know, we don't usually have to ask ourselves, "what does one see in the other," because a disparity in physical appearances is the exception and not the rule.

Could you base a relationship on physical appearances? You would have to be out of your mind to try it. But there is no getting away from the role biology plays here.


Jul 12th 2013 new
Chubbies checkmate, as they did last summer, as they did last year, and before the Resurrection opened the gates of Heaven, they even rocked in Limbo.

Chubbies rule.
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