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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 19th 2013 new
(quote) Quentin-43809 said: I met a wonderful lady on here and things are going pretty well. I don't know how far it will advance to but there is one thing that is bothering me. I am overweight and have been most of my life except for 8 years in the military service. My lady friend doesn't constantly attack my weight but every once in awhile she will say you should loose some weight. Now I have put up with that most of my life and coming from someone that I am very interested in it hurts my feelings to hear it from her. She of course is athletic and takes care of herself. As a nurse she knows that the excess weight is not good for me and so do I.

I suppose I have two choices and those would be to have it out with her the next time she mentions my weight or go in for a bypass. I know the bypass is pretty common now but a good friend of mine's wife died after surgery for one and I am wary of it for that reason. If you have any advice I would appreciate it.


Praying Quentin, I would take the lovely lady's advice in that she cares about you and your health. One in four Americans are overweight and one in three children and diabetes is on the rise for this reason - even in young children; and not the juvenile type.

Heart disease is the leading cause of death and lack of exercise and being overweight is the killer believe it or not and people are speculating it will surpass smoking as the leading cause of heart disease. So not only are we living longer, we are dying a slow, painful death with chronic diseases due to poor diets and lack of exercise. Sorry I didn't quote this, just learned it in nursing school this past year! I believe the book was Fundamentals of Nursing.

So good luck to you and your health and don't feel offended by your friend and nurse. She is showing compassion here for you! Heck, my mom tells my dad he needs to loose weight or cut the salt if she feels the need to for his health wink

God Bless you and for your Health Praying theheart
Jul 19th 2013 new
Its all good to talk about "loving the person inside" and of course that's true. But we are on a dating site. The photo's dont show "the people inside" and we dont get to see that before we contact or return contact with another.
We are all physically atracted to looks. The GOOD news is that we are all attracted to a different set of physical characteristics. Yes, those with the currently preferred body type will get the most "hits" and for now that is, for women, the size 4's or the "fit and toned". I have seen people on here justify their preference under the guise of wanting a "healthy" partner. The reality that while weight is a problem for some disorder, not having some weight can lead to other health problems. Thin is NOT automatically healthier than fat. Dont try to justify it. We like what we like.
I'm shaped like the plus size models in catalogs for plus size women. Of course, the plus size models dont wear plus size clothes. They are about 14s or 16s. My husband wouldnt put down his book to see a Victoria's Secret commercial but perked right up at ads for Just My Size lingerie, and he is not the only man who's head turns when one of us walks by. Don't cry for us padded women; there are many men who love curves, but for some reason many wont admit it, perhaps because they are embarrassed by having different tastes than their peers.
As for my taste in men, thin men are not to my taste, and those who describe themselves as fit and toned may look good, but are likely to be overly absorbed in how they look, not to mention that they are trolling for 40 year olds. I tend to look at men who describe themselves as "a few extra". Of course if I met a thin man in person and he was a sweetheart, who cares about his weight. But for browsing for appearances only, give me something to hold on to.
Jul 21st 2013 new
One may be bigger, but still be healthy. When I was in my teens I made poor decisions and I'm fighting those now. I know that being overweight is taking a toll on my body, and I have to battle with pain on a daily basis. However, I've taken steps to rectify that. I have lost weight, and my life habits have been greatly altered to those that I had as a teen. That being said, even though I eat healthy, I attempt to get physical activity in every day, and I focus on not letting my personality get me down, I still struggle to shed the remaining pounds that stand between me and a healthy BMI.
On reading these posts I find that I am torn two ways. My naturally stubborn side wants to rebel and say that I am happy with who I am, and that no one can make me change, but the side of me that is timid wants to please everybody (impossible) and to meet my own dreams of being healthier.
I agree that I would want someone who has the same regard for their own health, but if they are putting all they can into these efforts, and not succeeding in meeting with the worlds standards, then I am satisfied. Personally, yes, I want someone with whom I feel protected with i.e. someone strong enough to take charge, but that comes from personality as much as it does from build.
Jul 21st 2013 new
(quote) Quentin-43809 said: I met a wonderful lady on here and things are going pretty well. I don't know how far it will advance to but there is one thing that is bothering me. I am overweight and have been most of my life except for 8 years in the military service. My lady friend doesn't constantly attack my weight but every once in awhile she will say you should loose some weight. Now I have put up with that most of my life and coming from someone that I am very interested in it hurts my feelings to hear it from her. She of course is athletic and takes care of herself. As a nurse she knows that the excess weight is not good for me and so do I.

I suppose I have two choices and those would be to have it out with her the next time she mentions my weight or go in for a bypass. I know the bypass is pretty common now but a good friend of mine's wife died after surgery for one and I am wary of it for that reason. If you have any advice I would appreciate it.


Hello Quentin

I'm not a skinny girl - never been all my 35 years. Just want to preface by saying, I strongly support living a healthy life and so I am not promoting an unhealty lifestyle.

We all should work with what we have. We are stewarts of God's creation - and our bodies are no exception. I would encourage you to take it a day at a time. What is it that makes you say that bypass surgery is your only option? Just start a day at a time, that extra physical activity, the smaller portion etc..it does not have to be something really big like a bypass honestly.

I'm working with what I have. I'm not anti-skinny, but rather pro-work with what you have as every body is beautiful. Beauty knows no dress size or bmi index, just saying. wink I'm not a triathlete by any means but I am thankful that God's grace helped me develop work out habit and age made me more aware that there are certain foods that my 18-19 year old body was able to "process" easily but not anymore laughing

And also, Quentin - you've made it at your age - I've known too many who passed away in their 50s due to healh reasons - you shouldn't be too hard on yourself... biggrin If you decisw to be healthier - do it for you. But more so, do it with God's love in mind - that He gave us our bodies for us to be stewarts of His beautiful creation.

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