It was when I was going home that even the texts seemed to change. I would still try to text when I came home, but the responses were off. So Thursday I texted and got about a 60% response back. I then received a text at the end of the night that he was sorry and was "out of it" during the day. I thought perhaps he was getting sick, so on Friday I sent a few text messages asking how he was and that I still cared for him. I then sent the text I never wanted to send. Are you feeling we should just be friends? No response. Then I finally said I value communication (which I thought we shared) and I said I also value he may need space and I said I would not contact him until he contacted me. I then closed by saying I will pray for him and God bless.
He responded generically by saying sweet dreams, I work tomorrow and it will be slow at work. Nothing about my other texts. During the day I received advice from an old friend, not to contact him until he has contacted 3 times. Make him pursue me a little more. Now that is not bad advice, but he did do what I had asked in my text and contacted me.
I will be honest... I don't understand men. I realize perhaps I should take a step back, but how could feelings change so fast? I was not trying to be eager in my texts. I just wanted him to call.
He does have a history that I said I would forgive and forget since he wants to be a changed man... he is divorced. I realize he is busy with work and school. I understand that.I also know that perhaps he thinks he is ready to date... but may not be. I also realize the world does not revolve around me. I may not have been exactly what he imagined and he may not have been to me, but we shared a lot and I was willing to work and grow from everything.
I guess I am just frustrated. Here I felt like I found a guy that was 'the one' only to realize he was not or that it is a harder road than I thought with him. I guarded my heart and still dating and guys are hard for me to understand. This just kills me inside. I am trying to give this to the Lord... my heart is very broken, so I ask for kindness in your responses.
I guess I would love to know how I keep messing up. Why I am the one always so hurt... I am a good person and people love me (been told that), but with guys I just can't seem to get it right. I wish guys would share their feelings and not just disappear...
Thanks for listening