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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 14th 2013 new
(quote) Amanda-692129 said: Yes,

I am happy to say after going to Mass last night and lighting a candle..a and coming here of course. I feel much much better. I now know where I went wrong. One thing I should know is that in the beginning is trust the 'red flags' and in the beginning it should still feel awesome to get to know someone and yes not all this work and pain!

North Carolina is beautiful though.

One thing that did bother me is I was more than willing to have moved to live in NC and he never wanted to move to WI. There was no give or take... I was doing all the work it seems. Honestly, I am willing to move, but I am hesitant since I have all my family around by me. Sure I have to drive a hour and a half to get there but we are still close.

Also, I felt his Catholic Match profile was not accurate. Since he said stuff like... willing to relocate. I can face facts He just was not that into me.
Thats why I have a 75 mile rule sometimes it should be fifty miles . Have been told distance was a problem oh my especially when i did the driving . Plus its also the expenditure in this terrible economy .
Jul 14th 2013 new
(quote) Dave-915458 said:

Hi Amanda,

This is my 2 cents. NEVER, ever visit a guy the first few times. It is his responsibility to visit you. (And sometimes visiting him could be dangerous.) However, I dont think it is a problem if you initiate contact with a guy. (Many girls don't do this - but I think it is a mistake not to contact a guy you are genuinely interested in.) However, once your relationship starts, he needs to lead from there.

As an aside, I would generally recommend that you ensure the guy has the means to visit you on regular basis. E.g. if the guy seems like he can only visit you once a year, I dont think you can have a relationship. Sometimes this is an indication that he is not serious.

I think this is a problem with both girls and guys on CM: Once they have to meet or get serious about a relationship, thats when it ends. This may not be true for other age groups - but I have observed it with mine (and yours, since we are the same.) I think these people are just looking for a "pen-pal" - but they dont want to get serious.

I have had the confidence of a few girls - who asked me advice about their relationship with other guys. From this I could see how the relationship progresses. Once it comes for the time to meet, or just after the first meeting is over, thats when the relationship ends. The same is true of my relationships with other girls. I force a girl to meet me as soon as possible - otherwise I dont continue the correspondence. This is because I need to weed out the ones who are not serious.

EXCELLENT advice - ladies, when we get tempted to take charge of the communication with someone, READ THIS and remind yourself that this is the way it works!! There are rarely any exceptions. Accept that "He's just not that into you." It is really difficult in our "equality" culture for us women to accept that we only set ourselves up for heartbreak when we take charge of the developing relationship!
Jul 14th 2013 new
Pamela, Bless you! You have given such sound advice. The content of your words demonstrates profound common sense and compassion.
Jul 14th 2013 new
(quote) Michael-556947 said: Divorce and annulments that issue is also being discussed here .
A Greyhound Bus was mentioned as well, Michael.

I suppose if you have any issues with Greyhound Bus Lines, you can bring them up here as well.
Jul 14th 2013 new
Throw him back n the Ocean and get a better guy......../)...../)
Jul 14th 2013 new
(quote) William-607613 said: A Greyhound Bus was mentioned as well, Michael.

I suppose if you have any issues with Greyhound Bus Lines, you can bring them up here as well.
If there a additional topic i will respond to it .
Jul 14th 2013 new
Ahhh don't bring up the Greyhound! Horrible experience!
Jul 14th 2013 new
No kidding. The last time one of my friends took a Greyhound, her bus caught on fire, left her stranded (in the bus) for eight hours with no food or water and finally had her in a 12 hour layover in Dallas. I told her it would take me six hours for me to drive up there, get her, and bring her back to my place and that's what I did. Never again!

I'm sorry that it was a less than great experience with this guy. It sounds like you've gotten some really wonderful advice some others though, so hopefully it was at least a learning experience so that the next one will be better!
Jul 14th 2013 new
Amanda,
From experience, you can connect over the phone, chatting,etc , but until you meet face to face it's the final test. However I do believe in communication and he should be honest and tell you if he does not think you are the one. But don't chase him, let him contact you next.
It's possible while you found him to be the one , he does not feel the same way, and is too chicken to tell you. Keep praying for the right one. God bless
Jul 14th 2013 new
If you want to keep this thread in this room I would leave out the debate of annulments/VaticanII/etc. If you believe someone acts a certain way because they have been divorced and have not yet recieved an annulment, that is fine but keep the discussion on that narrow point which in this case is relevant to the OP.
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