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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Jul 26th 2013 new
Steven, That's an interesting perspective that you present, and quite a call to honor for Catholic men. In Bl JP II the Great's encyclical Evangelium Vitae (Gospel of Life) he spoke of the great charism of a man and/or woman who can become parents of children that they are not biologically related to. We have many "orphaned children" in the US due to divorce or widowhood. Sadly, I see many men on CM in their early to mid-fifties looking for childless and fertile women as part of their "search criteria." They are overlooking faithful women with children that would make wonderful spouses and great families. Thanks for posting.
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Jul 27th 2013 new
(quote) Deb-926847 said: I am 42 and have 6 kids that I have full physical and legal custody of. I was married for 16 years and we had 4 biological kids and adopted 2 little girls before the marriage ended due to extreme difficulties. My kids are great children! I am a very competent single parent and have time to add dating and hopefully a serious relationship to my life. My children are comfortable with this. I'd welcome more children. But....I get lots of views and then folks move on. I am considering dropping my membership, even though it is difficult to meet faithful Catholic's locally. Any thoughts? Thanks!
Dear Deb;
Multiple kids don't scare men away. What scares them away is their own limitations and fears. Not all man exhibit this kind of personality limitations though. Comfort has many meanings, to some, comfort is the joy of raising the little ones, mine, or yours, the only difference to them, is how much love they receive regardless who offers the love..
To others, comfort means satisfaction of their own needs. This category happens to be prevailing one.
You are a precious jewel, and it will take another precious one to complete the Union. As much as rare are you, , only the one who is as rare as you are will do.
The odds are against you but God is on your side, guess who will win.
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Jul 27th 2013 new
More the fact of, or generally speaking, most people with kids usually just were seeking greener grass. Statistically, most people with kids come with baggage makes for a red flag. Doesn't matter man or woman, kids means baggage. Today's self indulgulded society, lack of true commitment, and in the moment feelings based society, does tend to at times make it hard to trust. The word commitment or dedication is being lost, marriage or true love is being defined as a prison or controlled, and that is the furthest from the truth. God lays out our purpose and Plan for life, as well as a warning, as a majority people are giving up on love. The old school hard dedicated love like our grandparents had or great parents had is being erased, and I was raised by my grandparents, and the love they held for eachother is what makes life for, but as people enable eachother away from purpose or appreciation of life. People keep seeking the perfect relationship or person, well that is impossible if we are not to be perfect?
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Jul 27th 2013 new
(quote) Justin-949667 said: Doesn't matter man or woman, kids means baggage.
No offense young man, but I pray you get a more clear vision of what a child is and the value of one or more. If not, I must be frank: I truly hope you never marry or have any of your own. Such an attitude will not bode well for them.

If you really do not hold this vision, or would like to detract, I'd love to have you elucidate it for me and others.
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Jul 28th 2013 new
I was giving a general sense. My kids are my life, I honestly do not care if a person has kids, Been divorced or whatever, but in a "gerenal" sense, people tend to be more reserve to date or be Interested with a person with kids. Just how people tend to be when afflicted emotionally from a relationship. And yes my views are not for the light hearted, they are direct, as well as straight to the point. So be careful to judge upon shoes ya have not tried on. Lol, o just simply have pointed out what naturally happens in life.
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Jul 28th 2013 new
Justin,

Thanks for the direct personal message. I appreciate your gesture to clarify. I generally don't know the person that posts and I treat each post at face value and usually try to do it in consideration/context of the thread. What I said is how your post read to me. My response was to ask you to reconsider a more complete view of children. I am happy that you have a more complete view. We will really never truly understand how people here view children completely. Certainly, there are those that don't care for them, and I get a bit edgy in those circumstances.
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Aug 3rd 2013 new
(quote) Kevin-975826 said: Why do you need a book to tell you. i think that's one of today's biggest problems in today's society. Try using your God given common sense, People rely too much on books from people that probably have no experience in the area .Just a thought.
not totally agreeing as I have been advised that way.......[book or therapy]........from time to time with great results ............................................but in general
personally I think common sense and the true meaning of love are the answer.
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Aug 3rd 2013 new
I don't think (in my experience) it's the kids that scare a potential partner away.

It's the ex-spouse and the legal entities encountered.

If you are widowed, that's one thing, but having an ex-spouse who does not want to live in harmony with you, or your kids is very hard for any potential partner to accept.


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Aug 3rd 2013 new
I agree with you Thomas. An uncooperative ex spouse, when it comes to the children, can be very unpleasant. I think what matters the most is how your partner reacts to the problem. Sometimes that can make all the difference in the world and turn a negative into a positive. It's a shame some people will never give it a chance and get to know someone just because they have multiple children.
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Aug 4th 2013 new
I tend to agree with Thomas also. It is so much more then just the kids---like it or not, if the kids are younger, the ex comes with the deal too.
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