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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) Alice-788574 said: I have a bit of hope to share. On Saturday, I attended the wedding of a friend of mine. She has six children (5 boys and a girl - aged 21 to 5) and he has a 17 yr old girl. She had known the groom in high school and they reconnected after her divorce. She would not date him until she received an annulment and then, wild horses couldn't keep them apart! After several months of dating, and talking with their kids, they began to do "family things" - BBQs, trips to the zoo, etc. Finally, he asked the oldest son for his mother's hand in marriage (!) and then proposed. They attended pre-cana and spoke often with their priest. They had a small wedding in the church and a reception at my friend's house. It was absolutely perfect. I see a man who does not see her children as a burden, but as a precious part of his wife, body and soul.

"Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife for the child conceived in her womb is of the Holy Spirit."

Are not our children also children of God by adoption in Jesus Christ? Should not the angel's message to Joseph ring true for our suitors as well?

Peace, Deb. And patience.

Alice

Encouraging Alice.Thanks for sharing with us.The bible passage is really applicable. theheart theheart
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Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) Sandra-871852 said: That baggage is the mother of your beautiful adult children, for better or for worse.

I admired a man who was divorced and told me that no matter what he would treat his ex-wife with respect in both word and deed because after all she was the mother of his child. If it wasn't for her he wouldn't have this wonderful child. I thought this was beautiful because it was a hard thing for him to do.
Sandra,

You make a good point. And in principle I wholeheartedly agree with you. But I am curious, because I hear this said almost every time a man says something ignoble about a woman and almost never when it's done by a woman. Is the difference simply because the women express themselves better than does Bohdan, or other men?

Now, I won't defend what Bogdan said. He can do it on his own, if he chooses. I don't know his situation, and I personally don't think it wise for him to start explaining it here. It's not appropriate. But I would like to ask this and leave it as food for thought: how is what Bogdan says to be treated so differently and receive such immediate rebuke, but the countless women here who talk on their ex's as liars, cheats, philanderers, substance abusers, and so on, quickly have many rushing off to support the woman in her doing, as having done the right thing, for her sake or that of their children?

I think it's about to hail in Oregon, in mid-July.
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Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) Bohdan-989259 said: 1) When a devout Catholic leaves a marriage, it is typically for significant reasons- true
2) I can see where a new relationship prospect could be nervous about baggage. - what baggage, they are blessing,
3) I get handed lemons and make gallons of lemonade, but you can't know that from a profile. - yes I can see it in your profile.
4) I embrace the idea of being a step parent, but maybe this is a difference between the sexes - There is a thing called natural law. It defines the things absolute, unquestionable, laws established by God. Being a parent (or step parent) is the privilege given by God to be cherished. It is is not a subject to difference of perception by gender or any other human made criteria. It simply is unquestionable blessing.
4) it is hard to try on the reality - it`s not difficult to imagine the reality, it`s easy to chicken out once you do
5) Can't think of a better investment - true, I have four grown-up kids, and they make my life worth living, they are the best return on investment,. they are the most beautiful and rewarding thing that happened to me. I did it alone for fifteen years and never regretted it, never allowed anyone call my kids baggage. Baggage in my life was the woman who could not understand the fact that my kids came first. I disposed of such baggage.

I just wanted to point out the last sentence here that although your marriage ended, I really am disturbed how you are talking about your exwife, mother of your children, as disposed baggage. I guess when someone talks bad about their ex, it usually shows a flaw in character for me. Just FYI and maybe you weren't really thinking of it that way.

In a marriage the order is God, husband and wife and then the children. I can't see it working any other way!

Nothing wrong with a large family and I am proof of that Lucky #13 of 18 and mom and dad raised us all and put us through college and they gave it all up to God and he most definitely provided Praying rosary theheart

Love my large family, but I keep losing track of how many nieces and nephews I have lately, LOL! Makes for some good Holidays!
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Jul 16th 2013 new
I'm choosing to believe that I'm being passed up because men think my 5 younger kids & I are too awesome for them & won't be able to live up to our greatness biggrin But they should give us a try, I'm, obviously, very human...& my kids, haha, they are very much kids!

Bless us all & our search! Praying
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Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) Sandra-871852 said: That baggage is the mother of your beautiful adult children, for better or for worse.

I admired a man who was divorced and told me that no matter what he would treat his ex-wife with respect in both word and deed because after all she was the mother of his child. If it wasn't for her he wouldn't have this wonderful child. I thought this was beautiful because it was a hard thing for him to do.
I read the "disposing of baggage" comment to mean a girlfriend who could not let him put his kids first. I may be wrong, of course, but I thought it odd that anyone was jumping to the conclusion that he was talking about his ex wife without more info. Maybe I missed that info?
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Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) John-971967 said: Sandra,

You make a good point. And in principle I wholeheartedly agree with you. But I am curious, because I hear this said almost every time a man says something ignoble about a woman and almost never when it's done by a woman. Is the difference simply because the women express themselves better than does Bohdan, or other men?

Now, I won't defend what Bogdan said. He can do it on his own, if he chooses. I don't know his situation, and I personally don't think it wise for him to start explaining it here. It's not appropriate. But I would like to ask this and leave it as food for thought: how is what Bogdan says to be treated so differently and receive such immediate rebuke, but the countless women here who talk on their ex's as liars, cheats, philanderers, substance abusers, and so on, quickly have many rushing off to support the woman in her doing, as having done the right thing, for her sake or that of their children?

I think it's about to hail in Oregon, in mid-July.
Hi John and Deb,
No hail raining in OR! I was commenting on that one sentence. No one is disposable baggage, male or female, little or old. I wasn't asking Bohdan to share his personal experience nor challenging anyone to a verbal arm wrestle.

I am not taking male or female sides on this. I have heard this said as much by women. Those that I know who follow this mother or father of their children word and deed stuff don't seem to feel the need to denigrate.
You are quite the over-thinker with no parsimony of words. wink

So no hail raining on youz guyz. It was just my simple take on anyone using it.
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Jul 16th 2013 new
Keep on trying, sooner or later you will find somebody who really likes kids. I have you
in my prayers.

Martina

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Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) Sandra-871852 said: Hi John and Deb,
No hail raining in OR! I was commenting on that one sentence. No one is disposable baggage, male or female, little or old. I wasn't asking Bohdan to share his personal experience nor challenging anyone to a verbal arm wrestle.

I am not taking male or female sides on this. I have heard this said as much by women. Those that I know who follow this mother or father of their children word and deed stuff don't seem to feel the need to denigrate.
You are quite the over-thinker with no parsimony of words.

So no hail raining on youz guyz. It was just my simple take on anyone using it.
Sandra,

What you presented was all well and good. And I do take back the word "rebuke" from my last comment. It is misplaced and should not be directed at what you wrote. You are actually exhorting Bohdan, as all, to be mindful and keep ourselves (as you rightfully say) from denigrating others.

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Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) John-971967 said: Sandra,

What you presented was all well and good. And I do take back the word "rebuke" from my last comment. It is misplaced and should not be directed at what you wrote. You are actually exhorting Bohdan, as all, to be mindful and keep ourselves (as you rightfully say) from denigrating others.

Love your posts on the forums. You keep us on our toes with our faith!
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Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) Mary-847286 said: I read the "disposing of baggage" comment to mean a girlfriend who could not let him put his kids first. I may be wrong, of course, but I thought it odd that anyone was jumping to the conclusion that he was talking about his ex wife without more info. Maybe I missed that info?
Good insight Mary. I was reading it as directed to the mother of his children, but you make an excellent point. With that in mind, I really don't think we know either way.

And frankly, the points having been made, I will just move on from this matter. I have no need to know exactly what Bohdan's personal situation is.
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