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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 15th 2013 new
John: Yes, I get what you mean about grilling alone. I usually use my George Foreman grill to grill chicken or hamburgers. It is still not the same as an outdoor grill. Hope that you can meet someone closer to your area.
Jul 15th 2013 new
(quote) Andrew-290721 said: Those are the moments when I start grilling myself about why I am alone. When I am done grilling myself, then I start grilling God, Mary, Joseph, and all the saints and angels.
Hahaha you are funny David! Maybe you did not grill God enough... keep grilling until He gives in! :D As for me, I love to bake and sometimes I just don't feel like doing it as I am alone here and I wish that instead of inviting the boab's (building caretaker) daughter, I wish I have someone special to first share the slice of cake before giving away half of it...
Jul 15th 2013 new
Yes it is not easy grilling alone. Keep the faith and keep praying to meet someone special.
Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) John-132457 said: So I'm a pretty solitary guy. I'm not big on crowds, I value my alone time. Tonight I grilled my dinner out in the yard. Prepped the meat and the vegetables. Built the fire, added the charcoal. Old school, no propane or liquid fuels here. Worked in the garden while the file settled down. Somewhere along the way I had one of those moments. One of those moments when you realize that things ain't quite right. 'Cause this is something that would be better done for someone, with someone. Do you have those moments, when grilling alone isn't enough?


BTW, there's no ice cream in the house. There really oughta be someone to go get ice cream with too!

Truthfully, John, forget about grilling alone. What are you going to do when
that cold, snowy, Buffalo winter comes again?

I can hardly believe a nice looking and ethical and entertaining man like yourself
would be single.

Are there no women up in Buffalo where you live?

Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) John-132457 said: ...I think maybe my original post came off as "whoa is me, I'm still single". We all do that, but that wasn't my intent. It was more that, Sunday evening, for just a little while, I had the sense that I really wanted to do this for someone else, not myself. An affirmation of vocation perhaps? Maybe just an affirmation of the call to serve in general.
I feel your pain, John, and I know exactly the feeling you speak of. You'll do it for yourself, and you're not so much feeling sorry for yourself as feeling that you have more to offer, but no one to offer it to. I think I have felt this more since purchasing my home than ever before. Not just grilling, which I know was simply an example, but many things - taking care of the yard, fixing the leaky faucet, doing the dishes, even making a pot of coffee on Saturday morning. All of these are things that bring satisfaction, but seem to bring much more satisfaction when done in service or in mutual support of a partner / family. I believe you are correct that this speaks to our directive to serve one another. I also think this is one of the primary reasons I often find that I push my own chores aside at times, while jumping at the chance to help a friend who needs my assistance. I feel a much greater reward in my heart from helping my friend than from accomplishing a task simply for my own benefit. I wish also, that I could tell you how to reconcile this problem, but I believe we just have to keep walking down the path which has been set before us.
Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) John-132457 said: There are CM members who'll send out one hundred messages or emotes just to see what sticks. I'm not that guy.I'm not the most aggressive CM user. But, I'm not quite the most timid either. I'm the guy who's going to pick out one or two women at a time, who really interest me, and try to strike up a conversation to see where it leads. I don't live in the most fertile land when it comes to faithful, age appropriate, Catholic women. I think, in a decade on line, I've approached maybe two or three women local to me, that I thought fit the bill. Alas, to no avail. So, most of my contact has been long distance. I've put it on the line for the long distance thing too. Plane rides and all day drives. Also, thus far, to no avail. Maybe, as they say, it's me! Each of us has our own way, and I hope we do the best we can within the scope of who God made us to be. Maybe sometimes we push ourselves a little bit, to go outside our comfort zone. But, I'm not really sure that the numbers are what brings ultimate success.

All that said, I think maybe my original post came off as "whoa is me, I'm still single". We all do that, but that wasn't my intent. It was more that, Sunday evening, for just a little while, I had the sense that I really wanted to do this for someone else, not myself. An affirmation of vocation perhaps? Maybe just an affirmation of the call to serve in general.

And yes, having someone to walk to the ice cream stand with after would be nice too.
Amen brother! Putting ourselves out there doesn't mean we have to contact handfuls of women hoping for a response. That is more an act of desperation than being proactive. I agree having a select few that seem really interesting and compatible is the way to go. I live in L.A. with probably over 10 times your population in Buffalo and meeting a local gal is also a struggle. But getting back to your main point, I think part of our desire to have that someone special in our life is a desire to do those things for them- to give of ourselves to another- that bring joy and fulfillment in our lives whether it is grilling dinner outside, breakfast in bed, or fill in the blank ______.
Jul 16th 2013 new
John,

When it is 30 below with 5 feet of snow on the ground in Buffalo, come to Arizona and grill with me!! When I barbecue I have two dogs and don't feel the least bit lonely. They LOVE the barbecue.
Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) John-132457 said:  It was more that, Sunday evening, for just a little while, I had the sense that I really wanted to do this for someone else, not myself. An affirmation of vocation perhaps? Maybe just an affirmation of the call to serve in general.

And yes, having someone to walk to the ice cream stand with after would be nice too.
Hi John,

Yes! I am usually happy and enjoy quiet and contemplation...there are times when I look out at the hills and see an awesome sight of a family of deer running or if I think of something really clever (yes, I have those moments) and I want to share the joke....sometimes I literally look around...and wish.

To your other point of our need to serve, that is a beautiful stated thought. We are born to serve, says Erasmo Leiva-Merikakis. I usually have the satisfaction of serving at church or helping friends or praying for people. But when your vocation is to marriage, there is definitely a desire to fulfill one's calling in service of one's family. Or one's spouse...like preparing the steak with one of my (famous) marinades while he prepares the grill...

No you are not alone in the ache, or the joy of the tension.

In Christ,
Leyden
Jul 16th 2013 new
I went a few years ago and had a great time. I can't afford to go at this time but if my budget allows it next year I would like to go again sometime.
Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: Sam -- same thought, same time!
hug Great minds think alike!
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