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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jul 27th 2013 new
(quote) Linda-982758 said: I just have to say that I am divorced and in process in the annulment stage. I spoke to my priest two weeks ago. I have 2 - 3 canonical forms. I am very lonely on here as unless you have an annulment it seems like no one will talk to you. I only am interested in a catholic relationship and although other sites are more friendly and conversational, it just does not reach my soul. I feel stuck.
It is a shame to pay for here when you cannot not even establish a friendship.
I understand the sentiments expressed on this topic but there is informal discernment that I have read about.
Although an annulment seems more than probable for myself I feel that there is a lack of affability on CM. People do not even reply. It is rude. I may as well wait until I have my annulment and join Ava Maria.
CM was known to be friendlier and more charitable. People on here go for weeks without logging on or replying. It just does not feel right to me. Thanks for allowing me to express where I am at with this topic. Linda

Lynda;
I don't think it is the Brothers and Sisters that subscribe to his service that disappoint you.Why would anyone, who willingly submits to our Church's teachings question the Church Herself.
I found out the hard way, it is not the Catholic Match or any other way of meeting people, that is the obstacle. It is our own misunderstandings and misconceptions that disappoint us.
I have experienced the "no reply" or "leave me alone" responses. It doesn't mean that I'm no good, all it means is I'm not the match, I'm not what God intended me to be
One word about no reply, I go a lot of "no replies", I treat then with most respect. Many of them were noting else than the polite way to tell me that I'm out of line. I consider them as a valuable lesson.
Jul 27th 2013 new
(quote) Joanna-615441 said:


He "drives" a $3,016 a minute Boeing 747 to vacations and golf outings while we the "peasants" pay for it.
Joanna;
How does your response fit the topic of this conversation?
I hope you are talking about unfortunate Obama guy, not the Pope.
Jul 27th 2013 new
(quote) Bohdan-989259 said: Joanna;
How does your response fit the topic of this conversation?
I hope you are talking about unfortunate Obama guy, not the Pope.
I can answer for her...because I read his answer to this post which she highlighted before she commented on what he wrote.

And yes...she was ;)

Jul 27th 2013 new
Linda, I'm with you. I suspect that there are many of us here who feel the same; unwelcome due to our divorced status. My membership renewed after my first month because it is set that way by default when you sign up. I never realized the extent that my divorced status would affect my membership and limit my ability to connect with other Catholics. (Live and learn :) I know now. I do not believe God wants us to feel guilty for wanting friendship and companionship. We're all at different parts of the journey and the last thing we need when reaching out to our faith community is a cold shoulder.

I've decided to enjoy my remaining time here with regular people doing regular conversing. My membership is no longer set to auto renew, but I am definitely having more fun in the light hearted forums, like word associations and music games. Have you tried them? Also, those who ask us for prayers seem to be very welcoming of our voluntary support. ~ Christie
Jul 27th 2013 new
(quote) Bohdan-989259 said: Joanna;
How does your response fit the topic of this conversation?
I hope you are talking about unfortunate Obama guy, not the Pope.
I was responding to Michael's post, he had said, make annulments easier and marriages harder to obtain and then threw in a comparison between our current Pope and the POTUS (indicating the humility of our Pontiff). I was just bouncing off of that. Those things do happen in the forums where (just as in any conversation), it may stray off the original topic . . . and yes, it was a negative comment regarding our current ruler (secular, not spiritual)
Jul 27th 2013 new
Air Force One costs $181,000 an hour to operate, that comes out to $3.016 a minute.
Jul 27th 2013 new
(quote) Kenny-949632 said:

When we go to confession,,,Jesus wipes our slates clean,,,,,,,is it similar with an annulment..?


Rachel did an excellent job in answering a lot of your questions, but this is one our Protestant Brothers and Sisters use to re-marry.

The first marriage was not a "sin" so there is nothing to confess in the first place. If you remarry and go to confession, Jesus will forgive the adultery sin, but if you go back and live as "husband and wife" again, you commit sin again. The confession does not change the fact that a sin occurred and future continued "spousal" behavior is more sin.

Look at it this way. If you steal something and then go to confession, your sins are forgiven, but a harm has been committed so the priest will most probably counsel you to return the item or pay for it. But that doesn't mean any future theft is forgiven.

All sin affects the Body of Christ, it is the Church who determines what is "bound and loosed" by the authority given it by Jesus.

Blessings
Jul 27th 2013 new
(quote) Bohdan-989259 said:

Thank you Jim;
This is very, very important point. I never thought about it this way. My former wife has been in a marriage-like relationship with another man for 15 years. Although she doesn't care much about religion, regardless, as you pointed out, she has been committing adultery. She is no longer Catholic (I don't think she has ever been), nevertheless the Sacrament is still binding both of us. So securing the annulment would not only allow me to re-marry, but also free her from the sin.
Jim, thank you so much for pointing this out to me. As a Catholic I have the responsibility not only to myself but also to my wife, even though she doesn't care about things like that.

On the other note; it took you three years to get the annulment. I would like to revisit my original question: what am I doing here without annulment? I think the answer is: I'm fooling myself. I might also be fooling the others.

I made a decision not to participate in this wonderful exchange of opinions, expectations, successes and disappointments until the Sacrament that binds me and my wife is rendered invalid.

I have cancelled my subscription to this site until I can openly, and honestly offer myself to the woman God intended for me (that is, if this is His intention). This was the initial purpose of becoming a participant here, turns out it was unrealistic idea. My subscription expires on August 11. Until then I would like to make friends with you and other wonderful people i have met here.

I have learned an important lesson, and I would like to thank all of you, who took time to encourage or rebuff me.

God bless you Jim and all of you my Brothers and Sisters





Yes, Bohdan, it took three years to get my annulment because after I answered all the initial questions and submitted the answers to the tribunal, the tribunal came back with more clarifying questions that required me to dig deeper into my past and my experience to answer, and these questions were not comfortable to answer, and yet they were necessary in the process of healing, yet they took longer to resolve and answer. It didn't have to take three years, but I delayed in sending in the second replies for a year after the tribunal initially replied to me. I do not know your situation, but as soon as you can comply with all of the questions asked of you by the tribunal, the sooner they can come to a decision and you can move on with your life.

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We go forward with humility and charity and the guidance of the spirit of the Lord.
Jul 28th 2013 new
(quote) Jim-624621 said: Yes, Bohdan, it took three years to get my annulment because after I answered all the initial questions and submitted the answers to the tribunal, the tribunal came back with more clarifying questions that required me to dig deeper into my past and my experience to answer, and these questions were not comfortable to answer, and yet they were necessary in the process of healing, yet they took longer to resolve and answer. It didn't have to take three years, but I delayed in sending in the second replies for a year after the tribunal initially replied to me. I do not know your situation, but as soon as you can comply with all of the questions asked of you by the tribunal, the sooner they can come to a decision and you can move on with your life.

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We go forward with humility and charity and the guidance of the spirit of the Lord.
Amen
Jul 29th 2013 new
Bohdan,

As many have replied, I think it depends upon how you use the site. It sounds like you've indicated in your profile what your intentions are. Oddly enough, I had to do some thorough investigating to learn what the teachings of the Church are on dating before an annulment is granted. You would think it would be pretty widely known but it's not. The Deacon who submits the annulment applications in our parish didn't even know. What I finally learned is that it's considered adultery to date before an annulment is granted because you are still married in the eyes of the Church. That being said, I think we must be very careful not to commit that sin by becoming over involved with someone before the annulment is granted. I agree with what many others have said in stating that the site is a great place to learn from the wisdom of other believers in the Catholic faith. I've made some great friends on CM and I've learned and shared a lot of information. I have attended some great meet-ups and have met some wonderful people both male and female who I consider friends. So, I believe the site has great value other than just to meet a potential match. I am a little perplexed though by the number of people who are actively seeking a dating relationship who have not been granted and don't even appear to be seeking their annulment.

God bless you in your annulment process,

Dan
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