(quote) Lina-796057 said:
I've had the blessing of being given a wonderful son, who
happens to be the only person who really "gets" me. When I stopped to ponder that point in the
past, sometimes I grew quite despondent over that thought. I mean, a child is meant to be trained up in
the ways he is to live...and then be pushed out of the nest to go live them, not
to be with the parent all the time. I
won't have my son much longer, and that tinges each day with a little sadness,
and a lot of appreciation for every little thing we share together. He is the only family I have, as I see it; my
bonds with other blood relatives are quite loose. So when he goes off to college in a couple of
years, I will be alone. I'm preparing for
that, working to create a new life for myself.
Part of that planning is discerning what new paths God wants me to take,
so that I do make myself matter to others.
My mattering to others ain't gonna just happen magically. I will have to put myself out there, whether
through a new career (which I am seriously considering), or joining local
groups, or being the first one to take steps to befriend my new neighbors. And I'll get a dog.
Richard, I see a contradiction in your post. You said you have friends who treat you like
family. Yet you wonder who is there for
you at 10pm on a Tuesday when you are feeling down. But that is precisely what good friends are
for--to help you deal with the unhappy times.
Family is not just blood relation.
It's a matter of opening the heart to embrace another person, in
whatever capacity. We are the family of
God. That's not referring to blood connection--it's
all about the spirit and the heart. And
in what you wrote about, it's all about the mind as well. I experienced a lot of loneliness through the
years, especially in my marriage. So having
that "significant other" is not always the ultimate answer for loneliness. That feeling can make us choose wrongly. However, years ago I came across the idea
that loneliness is often just an illusion, a lie perpetrated by the devil
himself to discourage and undermine Gods children. The very real fact is, Richard, that we are
all connected to each other. Where you
are standing right now is blocking that view.
Change your perspective, and new possibilities open.
About God's Love, etc, that you touched on: each one of us is called to be a saint,
Richard. Each one of us has a different
role to fill, a different relationship to have with Him. Not everyone was meant to be a Thomas Aquinas
or Mother Teresa. But he does call you,
Richard, to have a holy, close relationship with Him, and in that relationship,
He can heal wounds and fill emptinesses as nothing else can. And yes, this can sustain. But you have to want it, and you have to seek
Lina, you make a lot of sound points that have lots of merit ... I don't disagree with much that you said .... But keep in mind that you have indeed been blessed with a wonderful son ,,, And I have no doubts that a big part of the reason why he turned out to be wonderful is because of the love and the upbringing that you provided .... But you have mentioned that when he goes off to college there will be a void ... Well, keep in mind that those of us who for whatever reason have never had a child have felt this void forever, and never experienced the magic that is a parent-child bond ... And even though he will leave the nest, you will always have him, not in the way it's been, but in other ways yet to be revealed .. I think if I had a child I would not feel this loneliness and would feel that life held purpose for me .... This is not to say that a child is merely there to prevent a parent from feeling alone; certainly that is not the case ... A good parent (as you certainly are) wants to see their child grow and thrive and, yes, soar from the nest, even if that parting is such sweet sorrow (sorry for stealing that) ...
I do disagree with you on the friends-family point .. There is only so much a good friend can ask another good friend to do . So, when it is late in the nite and I feel down, I can't expect a friend who has his/her own family to break away from their home front to tend to me ... Yes, once or twice maybe, but not on a fairly regular basis ...One cannot abuse a good friend, but must be respectful of their position in life and where they are with things ... So, a phone call may be in order, but ultimately one must let them return to their life and own concerns .. I get your point, but it just isn't the same as your own family ...
Ok, Lina, thanks again ...Just some more food for thought ...