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This room is for discussion related to learning about the faith (Catechetics), defense of the Faith (Apologetics), the Liturgy and canon law, motivated by a desire to grow closer to Christ or to bring someone else closer.

Saint Augustine of Hippo is considered on of the greatest Christian thinkers of all time and the Doctor of the Church.
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Jul 21 new
(quote) Richard-15378 said:  Again, does a person matter if there is no real bond anywhere?
What about Mother Teresa? She lead her life by works of service. No special someone. Just lots of giving. Did she matter?

What about cloistered nuns? Monks? They're not married, probably don't form deep bonds with others, yet do they matter?


They all matter.
We all matter.
You matter.

I hate "what if" scenarios, but what if you were in a car accident next week and became a quadriplegic? You'd STILL matter, but I bet you'd have thoughts about how good you used to have it and you'd wonder why you wasted so much time feeling sorry for yourself, prior to becoming a quadriplegic.

Just sayin' We all have our own conditions to deal with. We need to find joy in the life we have today, for this is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad.
Jul 21 new


I think loneliness and however we,,you,,me,,,,,describe loneliness is very prevalent in our society on many levels....

It can lead to depression,,,anxiety and fear and worry at times.....I think we all feel loneliness at times..Some more than others,,some more often,,some less often...some more severe and some less severe...

Helping others,,,,( as already stated ),,,,,,,God's sheep and our sheep too,,,,helps to an extent....
Sometimes people feel lonely and escape to alcohol,,drugs etc....I'm a widower so I have my bouts with loneliness too.....I turn to try and find humor...I think of situational humor and laugh at and with myself.....That is my escape...

The best place I feel genuine and loved is at Mass....I hate when Mass is over and the piano player stops after the final song....

Hopefully,, my friend,,,if God allows us into Heaven,,there will be no lonely days ahead...Just unimaginable joy...
Jul 21 new
(quote) Wendy-387654 said: What about Mother Teresa? She lead her life by works of service. No special someone. Just lots of giving. Did she matter?

What about cloistered nuns? Monks? They're not married, probably don't form deep bonds with others, yet do they matter?


They all matter.
We all matter.
You matter.

I hate "what if" scenarios, but what if you were in a car accident next week and became a quadriplegic? You'd STILL matter, but I bet you'd have thoughts about how good you used to have it and you'd wonder why you wasted so much time feeling sorry for yourself, prior to becoming a quadriplegic.

Just sayin' We all have our own conditions to deal with. We need to find joy in the life we have today, for this is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad.
Not feeling sorry ...rather, just reflecting on a life for those who are not a religious ... Those who felt a calling or who live a contemplative life actually do (at least I imagine they do) feel a bond ...that bond may be more with God than it is with people ... .but as I said at the outset here, other than those folks who lead saintly lives, is faith enough for those of us who are not so called, is faith enough to overcome the loneliness??? That is the question, one for the lay person, those of us who are not Mother Theresa ,,,,,
Jul 21 new
(quote) Richard-15378 said: I don't know, that takes a sort of "otherworldly" person to be able to be content with that ... Humans get lonely ... Saints probably can overcome that, but we mere mortals, it is very tough .....
Not an otherworldly person -- just a person with their sight on the other world (heaven). No, it's not easy. But it will be a lot easier once you focus your efforts on how instead of why/

God doesn't ask us to do the impossible. And since He placed you in this situation, it must not be impossible. Reflecting on the Serenity Prayer may help:

Go grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Jul 21 new
Guess I just find it hard to believe that of all the people out there on CM no one has had the same feelings ...feelings of insignificance, of being a nonentity in that no one counts on you ... Gotta be someone out there who feels that sometimes at least ... ...
Jul 21 new
Richard,I have often felt lonely, misunderstood and wishing I had someone close who really understood
my thoughts.I don't have many friends,but I do have family and my kids.I can be my absolute self with my children,yet it is not the same as being in adult company.
I have to act fast when my thoughts start turning inwards to feeling really lonely in order to halt them.

It is in giving that we receive-as soon as I start helping out with friends or family,strangers,I find I've forgotten about myself and instead have a glowing feeling inside.The lonliness is gone,and I feel like I belong.
My parents have had many Priests visit,stay overnight,drop in for a meal (nearly 30) and my father
recalls happily recently the sight of a Priest sitting by the lounge room fire,arms folded-sound asleep smileHe goes out of his way to make them feel really at home because many are far from family warmth. Praying
Jul 22 new

I've had the blessing of being given a wonderful son, who happens to be the only person who really "gets" me. When I stopped to ponder that point in the past, sometimes I grew quite despondent over that thought. I mean, a child is meant to be trained up in the ways he is to live...and then be pushed out of the nest to go live them, not to be with the parent all the time. I won't have my son much longer, and that tinges each day with a little sadness, and a lot of appreciation for every little thing we share together. He is the only family I have, as I see it; my bonds with other blood relatives are quite loose. So when he goes off to college in a couple of years, I will be alone. I'm preparing for that, working to create a new life for myself. Part of that planning is discerning what new paths God wants me to take, so that I do make myself matter to others. My mattering to others ain't gonna just happen magically. I will have to put myself out there, whether through a new career (which I am seriously considering), or joining local groups, or being the first one to take steps to befriend my new neighbors. And I'll get a dog.

Richard, I see a contradiction in your post. You said you have friends who treat you like family. Yet you wonder who is there for you at 10pm on a Tuesday when you are feeling down. But that is precisely what good friends are for--to help you deal with the unhappy times. Family is not just blood relation. It's a matter of opening the heart to embrace another person, in whatever capacity. We are the family of God. That's not referring to blood connection--it's all about the spirit and the heart. And in what you wrote about, it's all about the mind as well. I experienced a lot of loneliness through the years, especially in my marriage. So having that "significant other" is not always the ultimate answer for loneliness. That feeling can make us choose wrongly. However, years ago I came across the idea that loneliness is often just an illusion, a lie perpetrated by the devil himself to discourage and undermine Gods children. The very real fact is, Richard, that we are all connected to each other. Where you are standing right now is blocking that view. Change your perspective, and new possibilities open.

About God's Love, etc, that you touched on: each one of us is called to be a saint, Richard. Each one of us has a different role to fill, a different relationship to have with Him. Not everyone was meant to be a Thomas Aquinas or Mother Teresa. But he does call you, Richard, to have a holy, close relationship with Him, and in that relationship, He can heal wounds and fill emptinesses as nothing else can. And yes, this can sustain. But you have to want it, and you have to seek it.

Jul 22 new
Richard I understand what you mean. I feel the same way. I have that "alone" feeling all the time but it is worst at night, when there is no one to turn to, no one who wants to talk to me--my friends have their own families and are involved with them at that time and I don't want to interrupt. It's a horrible way to feel--especially when, like me, you are used to having a loving, wonderful spouse by your side.

You are not alone in your feelings, not at all.
Jul 22 new
Richard, I get it. I also feel lonely- often. I have adult children who live in South Carolina, a brother who lives locally, and many, many friends. I am very active in my parish and in the community. But, coming home alone after mass, eating alone most nights, spending weekends alone, maintaining a home alone, and being solely responsible for all life's problems can be overwhelming. I know that my friends and family would be, and have been, a great source of support and comfort, but there is a limit to how much they can empathize and entertain. I think that maybe that longing for a mate is something God gave us to help us pair up. When I'm feeling lonely, I think of Mother Mary and the losses in her life and how sad and lonely she must have felt without her husband or her Son. While she had many of the apostles and disciples to help her, I'm sure she felt lonely often and prayed fervently for strength. I try to take it one day at a time and I pray often for a husband, if God wills it. At this stage in my life I'm feeling that singlehood may be permanent and I pray for courage and strength to endure. May God bless you, Richard, with a mate who loves you enough to put you first in her life and make it her job to help you get to heaven. That's what I am looking and praying for.
Jul 22 new
(quote) Lina-796057 said:

I've had the blessing of being given a wonderful son, who happens to be the only person who really "gets" me. When I stopped to ponder that point in the past, sometimes I grew quite despondent over that thought. I mean, a child is meant to be trained up in the ways he is to live...and then be pushed out of the nest to go live them, not to be with the parent all the time. I won't have my son much longer, and that tinges each day with a little sadness, and a lot of appreciation for every little thing we share together. He is the only family I have, as I see it; my bonds with other blood relatives are quite loose. So when he goes off to college in a couple of years, I will be alone. I'm preparing for that, working to create a new life for myself. Part of that planning is discerning what new paths God wants me to take, so that I do make myself matter to others. My mattering to others ain't gonna just happen magically. I will have to put myself out there, whether through a new career (which I am seriously considering), or joining local groups, or being the first one to take steps to befriend my new neighbors. And I'll get a dog.

Richard, I see a contradiction in your post. You said you have friends who treat you like family. Yet you wonder who is there for you at 10pm on a Tuesday when you are feeling down. But that is precisely what good friends are for--to help you deal with the unhappy times. Family is not just blood relation. It's a matter of opening the heart to embrace another person, in whatever capacity. We are the family of God. That's not referring to blood connection--it's all about the spirit and the heart. And in what you wrote about, it's all about the mind as well. I experienced a lot of loneliness through the years, especially in my marriage. So having that "significant other" is not always the ultimate answer for loneliness. That feeling can make us choose wrongly. However, years ago I came across the idea that loneliness is often just an illusion, a lie perpetrated by the devil himself to discourage and undermine Gods children. The very real fact is, Richard, that we are all connected to each other. Where you are standing right now is blocking that view. Change your perspective, and new possibilities open.

About God's Love, etc, that you touched on: each one of us is called to be a saint, Richard. Each one of us has a different role to fill, a different relationship to have with Him. Not everyone was meant to be a Thomas Aquinas or Mother Teresa. But he does call you, Richard, to have a holy, close relationship with Him, and in that relationship, He can heal wounds and fill emptinesses as nothing else can. And yes, this can sustain. But you have to want it, and you have to seek it.

Lina, you make a lot of sound points that have lots of merit ... I don't disagree with much that you said .... But keep in mind that you have indeed been blessed with a wonderful son ,,, And I have no doubts that a big part of the reason why he turned out to be wonderful is because of the love and the upbringing that you provided .... But you have mentioned that when he goes off to college there will be a void ... Well, keep in mind that those of us who for whatever reason have never had a child have felt this void forever, and never experienced the magic that is a parent-child bond ... And even though he will leave the nest, you will always have him, not in the way it's been, but in other ways yet to be revealed .. I think if I had a child I would not feel this loneliness and would feel that life held purpose for me .... This is not to say that a child is merely there to prevent a parent from feeling alone; certainly that is not the case ... A good parent (as you certainly are) wants to see their child grow and thrive and, yes, soar from the nest, even if that parting is such sweet sorrow (sorry for stealing that) ...

I do disagree with you on the friends-family point .. There is only so much a good friend can ask another good friend to do . So, when it is late in the nite and I feel down, I can't expect a friend who has his/her own family to break away from their home front to tend to me ... Yes, once or twice maybe, but not on a fairly regular basis ...One cannot abuse a good friend, but must be respectful of their position in life and where they are with things ... So, a phone call may be in order, but ultimately one must let them return to their life and own concerns .. I get your point, but it just isn't the same as your own family ...

Ok, Lina, thanks again ...Just some more food for thought ...
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