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This room is for discussion related to learning about the faith (Catechetics), defense of the Faith (Apologetics), the Liturgy and canon law, motivated by a desire to grow closer to Christ or to bring someone else closer.

Saint Augustine of Hippo is considered on of the greatest Christian thinkers of all time and the Doctor of the Church.
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Jul 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Kerry-970208 said: Richard I understand what you mean. I feel the same way. I have that "alone" feeling all the time but it is worst at night, when there is no one to turn to, no one who wants to talk to me--my friends have their own families and are involved with them at that time and I don't want to interrupt. It's a horrible way to feel--especially when, like me, you are used to having a loving, wonderful spouse by your side.

You are not alone in your feelings, not at all.
Hi Kerry .... Thanks for sharing .. I am not happy to hear that you too experience much of what I was talking about, but I was beginning to wonder if I was way off base and no one else had these feelings ... It did seem odd to me ... But yes, you have characterized it ,,, no one to talk to when you want to talk about something ...could be something deep, something light, something silly, whatever ... it is just sharing that emotional intimacy .... Sounds like you regularly had that with your spouse .. I am sorry for your loss ..It is so hard to truly connect with someone, so to have found that and then to have your person taken away at such a young age must be devastating ... God bless you and I hope that He alleviates your pain very soon ..
Jul 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Jan-805954 said: Richard, I get it. I also feel lonely- often. I have adult children who live in South Carolina, a brother who lives locally, and many, many friends. I am very active in my parish and in the community. But, coming home alone after mass, eating alone most nights, spending weekends alone, maintaining a home alone, and being solely responsible for all life's problems can be overwhelming. I know that my friends and family would be, and have been, a great source of support and comfort, but there is a limit to how much they can empathize and entertain. I think that maybe that longing for a mate is something God gave us to help us pair up. When I'm feeling lonely, I think of Mother Mary and the losses in her life and how sad and lonely she must have felt without her husband or her Son. While she had many of the apostles and disciples to help her, I'm sure she felt lonely often and prayed fervently for strength. I try to take it one day at a time and I pray often for a husband, if God wills it. At this stage in my life I'm feeling that singlehood may be permanent and I pray for courage and strength to endure. May God bless you, Richard, with a mate who loves you enough to put you first in her life and make it her job to help you get to heaven. That's what I am looking and praying for.
Hi Jan .. I think you have said it better than I ever could .... There is a limit to how much friends can give to you when they have to care for their own families ... And, as you said, it is the aloneness of everyday life ..the coming home after Mass without anyone to discuss the sermon, the solitary meals, the coming to the door with three grocery bags spilling over and no one to hand one to ... In fact, it's odd that sometimes when I have had a good time out with friends (most of whom are married) and then go home, it's after such a good time that I feel most alone ... Guess that's because I see what those with families have and it looks great and then the key goes in the door and I'm home and no one else is home with me ...

God bless you and grant you your heart's desires!
Jul 22nd 2013 new
Richard:

This sounds trite, but you should get yourself a dog. I have one, and I thank
God every day that my dog "choose to share her short life on earth with me."

Doing things by myself gets old, but she comes with me where ever it is
possible that I can bring her. She jumps in the car, and when the weather
is appropriate, I leave her in the car and do my grocery shopping or run
errands. And then, of course, as part of the bargain, she knows she will
get an interesting walk where ever we happen to be running the errand.

And when you have a dog with you, people stop you and the kids want to
pet the dog, or people stop you and ask what king of dog it is. It really
cuts through the aloneness.

If you have no family, nothing will make up for that. But if you have a
dog, you kind of have a responsibility and a family.
Jul 22nd 2013 new
Richard:

This sounds trite, but you should get yourself a dog. I have one, and I thank
God every day that my dog "choose to share her short life on earth with me."

Doing things by myself gets old, but she comes with me where ever it is
possible that I can bring her. She jumps in the car, and when the weather
is appropriate, I leave her in the car and do my grocery shopping or run
errands. And then, of course, as part of the bargain, she knows she will
get an interesting walk where ever we happen to be running the errand.

And when you have a dog with you, people stop you and the kids want to
pet the dog, or people stop you and ask what king of dog it is. It really
cuts through the aloneness.

If you have no family, nothing will make up for that. But if you have a
dog, you kind of have a responsibility and a family.
Jul 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: True, it's not the same. But not the same doesn't necessarily mean bad.

Loneliness occurs when we focus inward and lament on what we don't have. When we focus instead on others and what we can give them and on God, there is nowhere for loneliness to take root.


yes very true
Jul 22nd 2013 new


But,,,we are human too...............
Jul 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Kenny-949632 said:

But,,,we are human too...............
Exactly!!!
Jul 22nd 2013 new
Dear Richard,

NO one ever "not cares." Sometimes it's easy to feel that way.

I have often sought the advice of a professional counselor when I have felt as you perhaps do. I have no doubt you're considered it, or have sought it. Anyway, I find it very helpful.

Hope this helps. If not, still my prayers are with you. Doug.
Jul 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Richard-15378 said: Guess I just find it hard to believe that of all the people out there on CM no one has had the same feelings ...feelings of insignificance, of being a nonentity in that no one counts on you ... Gotta be someone out there who feels that sometimes at least ... ...
My immediate family isn't very close.. geographically, physically, or emotionally. We don't talk to each other probably as often as we should and even then it seems almost on a superficial level..and i often feel i can't count on any of them..but that doesn't make me feel insignificant. I know one day that God will give me the right person to be in a great relationship that will fill all the absences that i have today. smile Praying
Jul 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Marianne-100218 said:
This sounds trite, but you should get yourself a dog. I have one, and I thank
God every day that my dog "choose to share her short life on earth with me."

And when you have a dog with you, people stop you and the kids want to
pet the dog, or people stop you and ask what king of dog it is. It really
cuts through the aloneness.

If you have no family, nothing will make up for that. But if you have a
dog, you kind of have a responsibility and a family.
I highly agree with what Marianne just said.. having a Dog is absolutely amazing...or maybe it's just my dog that is so amazing! She's a goofball always wanting to play, watches me out of the corner of her eye...even when lying down, is my shadow when i'm walking from room to room, and most of the time wants to be right next to me. And yes,, it is a huge responsibility. biggrin Praying
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