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This room is for discussion related to learning about the faith (Catechetics), defense of the Faith (Apologetics), the Liturgy and canon law, motivated by a desire to grow closer to Christ or to bring someone else closer.

Saint Augustine of Hippo is considered on of the greatest Christian thinkers of all time and the Doctor of the Church.
Learn More: Saint Augustine

Jul 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Margo-404841 said: Richard,
1. You have received some wonderful spiritual advice here, especially from Jerry, our moderator. Please consider that.
2. Have you considered that you might be depressed and your serotonin levels may be off kilter? A combination of psychotherapy and antidepressants might help you feel much better. Find a Beck Depression Inventory II online somewhere to give you feedback.
3. And just to tell you for the 10th time, your picture looks out of date. Self-respecting women everywhere are probably ignoring you because they don't trust your advertising. Deep down, however, we are waiting for you to get a new picture to show us that you're doing better.
Best.
Ouch! ,,, Obviously you are not enthralled with my high school prom picture ... I get that (I'm not too crazy about it myself!) ... So, I have a suggestion .. Feel free to contact any or all of the folks who attended our recent CM get-together in the Philadelphia area ... They actually had a F2F with me and therefore would be best able to give you a firsthand report on my present appearance ... (If it's overwhelmingly negative, don't feel any need to report that back to me - LOL!) ... Ok, I think you can find the folks on the CM member-meetup section where there's a report of our event ... I will warn you, it took place way back on June 22, 2013, so not sure it would meet your required time frames ... I have aged 31 days since and the toll of time may not have been kind to me ...

Oh, and loneliness and depression are two different things ...
Jul 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Lina-796057 said: Sorry if earlier I wandered astray from the original idea, Richard.

It has been a process. No, in those moments where I felt alone--and I felt this a heck of a lot from age 20 to my 40s--my faith, however little of it I had at any of those times, did not help me overcome. There were many times, early on, that I'd curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep. There were escapes I took that did more harm than good. One of those escapes was marriage. It was a bandaid of sorts, but a misuse of the Sacrament. Through my misery, I worked at finding answers, and kept turning to God over & over. He has healed a lot of the wounds. I DO draw on my relationship with Him. I keep practicing trusting Him for all my needs. It's still a process, as all of life is a process, I think. I'm still working at understanding my place in the world. I think that's changing, too.
Just barely, though I have been there. Sometimes wonder if I'm talking to somebody. But in the still of my soul, He always answers if I'm listening well enough.
Jul 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Richard-15378 said:

Is Gods love all that you need to sustain you?This is one of many things I have struggled with over the years Yes, God ispresent in our lives, but as a human in this very human world, if you are alonewithout family, how do you handle it psychologically and emotionally? Yes, wehave our friends, but it is not the same In fact, I have friends who do treatme as family, but the fact is I am not really a true member of their family When its 10 oclock on a Tuesday nite and you feel down, or if its 3:00 on aSunday afternoon and youre at loose ends, who is there for you really? So,if there is no one down here who cares if you are happy or sad or anxious orexcited, or had a success or had a failure, who cares if you are sick or hurtor down or up, if you dont really matter to anyone, well then, do you matterat all??? And yes, of course there isGod, but does it take a saints faith to have that be enough, or at least be someonewho is of saintly proportions? I dont know, I find it hard, because at leastfor the present moment we are in this world, and it is difficult to wonderfullypossess such abiding faith so as not to be taken down by the loneliness andalienation and rejection that one can feel in these moments

So, what if (God excluded) . what if you matterto no one? .

"I find it hard, because at leastfor the present moment we are in this world, and it is difficult to wonderfullypossess such abiding faith so as not to be taken down by the loneliness andalienation and rejection that one can feel in these moments."
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You may not have wanted to hear about pets or meds or any of that stuff, but
any of the suggestions made will help you to have less of those hurtful times of
loneliness, alienation and rejection.

If you matter to no one, you are not alone. At least you are in the right place
on Catholic match to try to put an end to being alone.
Jul 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Marianne-100218 said: "I find it hard, because at leastfor the present moment we are in this world, and it is difficult to wonderfullypossess such abiding faith so as not to be taken down by the loneliness andalienation and rejection that one can feel in these moments."
----------------------------------------------
You may not have wanted to hear about pets or meds or any of that stuff, but
any of the suggestions made will help you to have less of those hurtful times of
loneliness, alienation and rejection.

If you matter to no one, you are not alone. At least you are in the right place
on Catholic match to try to put an end to being alone.
Thanks, Marianne!
Jul 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Richard-15378 said:

... what if you matter to no one? .

I think that is very, very rare.

I think that oftentimes we matter to someone we hardly realize is even around. It might be the person who always sits in the next pew, or the neighbor who drives past every day and sees us standing at the bus stop. Or the cashier at the coffee shop where you always go. I pray for people I know only superficially like that. Some of them really make my day. I miss them if I don't see them.

I can even think of one man I encountered at a meeting about 25 years ago. I saw him that one time, but he has stayed in my memory and prayers regularly ever since.

And once you make contacts in CM (via the forums if no other way), you are important to at least one person here. Most of us prayer for each other and have mourned for those CMers who, sadly, have passed away.

You are thought of and loved perhaps much, much more than you know.
Jul 23rd 2013 new


Get some ice cream and join the club.................
Jul 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: I think that is very, very rare.

I think that oftentimes we matter to someone we hardly realize is even around. It might be the person who always sits in the next pew, or the neighbor who drives past every day and sees us standing at the bus stop. Or the cashier at the coffee shop where you always go. I pray for people I know only superficially like that. Some of them really make my day. I miss them if I don't see them.

I can even think of one man I encountered at a meeting about 25 years ago. I saw him that one time, but he has stayed in my memory and prayers regularly ever since.

And once you make contacts in CM (via the forums if no other way), you are important to at least one person here. Most of us prayer for each other and have mourned for those CMers who, sadly, have passed away.

You are thought of and loved perhaps much, much more than you know.
Those are very nice sentiments, Marge ... Those people are lucky indeed that you send prayers their way ... God bless you for those acts of kindness ....
Jul 24th 2013 new
(quote) Richard-15378 said: Ouch! ,,, Obviously you are not enthralled with my high school prom picture ... I get that (I'm not too crazy about it myself!) ... So, I have a suggestion .. Feel free to contact any or all of the folks who attended our recent CM get-together in the Philadelphia area ... They actually had a F2F with me and therefore would be best able to give you a firsthand report on my present appearance ...
No, Richard, I won't contact others to get a report on you. That would be poor boundaries on my part. My point was that how you present yourself to a potential wife is very important. It's about making yourself vulnerable, putting your best foot forward. You're the man; you're supposed to take the lead in this dance, help the woman feel welcome and secure. Think of Dancing With the Stars. Or not.
Jul 24th 2013 new
(quote) Richard-15378 said: Oh, and loneliness and depression are two different things ...
Yes, they are. But always/never, black/white thinking are signs of negative cognitions and the source of much misery in this world. Learning how to clean up your cognitions can take a real weight off your mind and free you to joyfully serve the Lord.
Jul 24th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: I can even think of one man I encountered at a meeting about 25 years ago. I saw him that one time, but he has stayed in my memory and prayers regularly ever since.
See, it's not easy to forget someone who was important to, or affected, you.

I got a call this week from a guy, now in FL, who, in 1980, used to run 18-miles w/ me almost every Saturday morning. He said he's been following my running results, on the Internet, all these years - I had no idea he was doing that.
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