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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 26th 2013 new
(quote) Kristen-878108 said: I know that the conventional wisdom on CM says that we should "charitably" answer every email we receive, but I disagree with this perspective. People might send numerous messages at a time; to see a response in your inbox, thinking that it is a positive response only to read it and realize it is a rejection adds an extra step to the rejection. Sometimes charity is simply not responding. Also, if a person continues to get a response from you every time they send a message (even if it's a rejection) becomes at least some level of response - like kids with behavioral issues - negative attention is better than none at all. Simply refraining from sending a response will end the problem; then there is no need to resort to blocking.

Although I don't entirely agree that it's sometimes charitable not to respond, I get your point. It's definitely one way to look at it.




Jul 26th 2013 new
not that I am any expert.....but meeting face to face.......is a lot different than
just emailing or even telephoning..........this topic is very 'grey area'
for me but criteria may allow one to say ''no thanks'' due to geographics
or decision to not have 10 kids between the two of you.....or a few other
scenarios like not practising my faith or other major theological gaps
Jul 26th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: Seriously, unless a person's initial messages are grossly impolite, why would you immediately tell him/her "No"?
I personally can think of several reasons why there may be an immediate "No" to an initial message.
Most all of reasons for an immediate "no" may revolve around what information was found in the person's profile.
A simple example might be how they replied to the Faith questions in the survey.
Jul 26th 2013 new
Thanks Dave for your answer!

When reading one's profile, red flags come up, but sometimes a person needs to delve more into his psychology makeup, and this may make a person more interesting to correspond.

The feeling of "something just not right" is always in the back of ones' mind, and one tries to relate that feeling to the other person. Needless to say, some of us are "still" hesitant "when to stop a correspondence".

I am hoping more of our CMers will write and advise us about this concern, and may have gone through this themselves. Many of us may learn a valuable lesson.

Again, thanks to all!

Jul 26th 2013 new
To answer this question, of course no one should have to put up with a "stalker" but I would hope on a site like CM that would be the exception and not the norm. In the vast majority of cases, this should be handled with compassion. We are after all all human beings with feelings, God's beloved creations, deserving to be treated with dignity and respect and not unceremoniously dismissed.
Jul 26th 2013 new
2 xs then it's time for a CM help ticket to block them. I had a serial stalker once long ago I had to block.
Jul 26th 2013 new
Ah.
I'm sure all of us want someone who is "7/7". But personally, I have seen enough cases where people a) didn't understand the question or b) clicked on the wrong answer by accident, that I'm willing to see what they're really like.
Jul 26th 2013 new
You might not want to hear advice coming from someone who is half your age, but personally in that situation I think that if someone is being pushy, that can be a red flag. On the other hand, I think the only thing to feel guilty about is not giving someone a chance. That doesn't mean I think they should get 50 chance, but at least one so you can have a conversation or two and find out if they're on the same page. I try to give everyone a chance at least, and not just on Catholic Match, I'm new to this whole dating site thing, I have always tried to do this because when a girl doesn't give me a chance and shuts me down before she even starts to have a chance to talk and get to know me, that doesn't feel good and I've decided I wouldn't be like that. The way I look at it when a girl doesn't give me a chance or rejects me, I don't think that reflects on me, I think it reflects on them, and not to sound arrogant, but I consider it their loss. I'm a nice guy, I go to church every Sunday, I'm athletic, smart, funny, and good looking, but yet you'd be amazed how many girls won't even give me the time of day. It used to bother me and even effect my self esteem at times, but then I realized if they were going to make a judgement about me after a 5 minute conversation because I'm shy, or how I dress, or I seem TOO nice, or whatever goes through women's heads that "friendzone" or reject me, then it probably is for the best. The funny thing is, I think a lot of the same girls would really like me a lot if they had given themselves the chance to know me. So, I guess that's the moral of my story, if you at least talk to someone and have a couple conversations (or a lot of times, I'll go to lunch with a girl) and get to know them a little, then if you still feel they're not your type, at least you gave them a chance and your conscious is clear, and maybe you'll have gained a friend.
Jul 26th 2013 new
(quote) Dave-976637 said: I personally can think of several reasons why there may be an immediate "No" to an initial message.
Most all of reasons for an immediate "no" may revolve around what information was found in the person's profile.
A simple example might be how they replied to the Faith questions in the survey.
I can think of a reason to instantly say No!
A person who uses "almost the entire profile introduction " to complain about their X---NEXT!
His/her therapist can give them another chance.
"Everyone" has to draw the line "Somewhere" !!!!

Intro = infor about self and their Interests
Ideal Mate = generally what they are looking for in another




Jul 26th 2013 new
Nolan,you have the right attitude smile Praying
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