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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 28th 2013 new
Thank you Christine for sharing your experience! This is exactly the type of story I hoped someone would share! I learned a lot! And waiting for water to boil is a very apt description!!
Jul 28th 2013 new
(quote) ED-20630 said:
I believe that most politicians found this out long ago. Some of the most successful (in terms of getting elected) politicians are those that offer as few details as possible and make the content of their speeches someone ambiguous precisely so that the voters can fill in the blanks and ambiguities with positive things that they would like to see in their candidate. Lots of people then vote for the candidate because he/she is believed to be "on the same page".... These voters are often surprised later that the candidate is so different than what they had anticipated. The problem is that these voters "filled in the blanks" with desired/positive details rather than the real details. Oops.

Ed
Never thought of it that way, but that is exactly their tactic!
Jul 28th 2013 new
(quote) Kristen-878108 said: http://www.catholicmatch.com/institute/2011/04/the-power-of-the-online-daters-imagination/

I just read the article at the above link and thought this might be a good question to pose in the forum. The article talks about how the imagination will "fill in the blanks" in regard to online matches, which means that it is extremely important to meet someone in person as soon as possible so as not to continue to live in the imagination.

My question is, has anyone thought that they met the man/woman of their dreams online only to meet in person and find that there was no connection? If so, what were you imagining to be true about the other person that wasn't? What had you not been aware of about the person from online interactions that became clear in a face to face meeting?
Kristen,
The answer is yes I met someone on this site after a month we met in person. I drove 5 hours to meet her. She was very nice and pretty but there was no emotional attachment it is one thing to see a picture and talk on the phone but when you meet face to face and you have to talk and make eye contact you know if it is meant to be. So yes meet that person see how he reacts with you. For me I am able to open up on a phone but I am very shy and it shows when I meet face to face so that is something to get out in the open so that person does not feel put off.
Jul 28th 2013 new
Kristen,
Not long after I joined last summer, I noted a picture in the feature that shows picture updates. I took a look, and thought "what an attractive gal", but she was in NJ. Shortly after that, she evidently saw a new pic of mine, and sent me a "cuppa Joe". What followed was a fast climb to some magic. A few emotigrams, became, chats, then phone calls, and finally Skype. I tried to find an opportunity to fly out and meet her, but the jobs I was working would not allow my absence. It was clear we had an amazing connection. We also recognized we shared the impediment of being as yet not annulled, so we agreed to ease up a bit, and concentrate on that - each encouraging the other. It truly seemed that we had the most incredible connection, but she passed away suddenly just before Christmas. I believe it occurred even as I was praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet for her (she had been feeling ill, and had had to leave her job). She had a weak heart - we had talked about it. Somehow, I feel that God brought us together for a profound reason. He doesn't tease, and I feel only great thanks and appreciation for His letting me know her. I know He Blessed me through her - and from what her closest friend shared; we were each a channel for great Hope to each other. Again: God doesn't tease, so I must conclude that this was but a glimpse of what He has Planned for me, as well as the full acceptance that He may send me to another part of the world, because I was ready to move to NJ - had the time come; something I had previously considered improbable.

So I agree; a meeting is important ... even if it is only via something like Skype, or Apple Facetime. I was fortunate to have a friend who allowed me to use his 27-inch iMac, so it was like we were in the same room together and could hold hands across 3000 miles.
We talked for hours, prayed together, and sang songs for each other (each being guitarists). As to imagination, (all being Chaste), the only thing missing was the actual feeling of an in-person hug, and the taste of the 'no-kidding New Jersey pizza pie' she insisted is better than anything available in the West. biggrin

So my answer main answer is a bit in the opposite to your question. On the other hand, I have met several women now, only to be slightly to greatly shocked when they appeared in person looking not at all like their pictures. It kills me to ask about pictures now, but it seems quite necessary. A lot of people are posting outdated pictures. I can appreciate younger pix to compliment current ones - they allow one to appreciate the maturing individual. So I agree that a F2F meeting in some form is very important.
Jul 28th 2013 new
Thank you David, for sharing your experience! I am honored you would share such a beautiful story here! Your story certainly provides a different view of the matter - that a close connection CAN occur via Skype and other forms of communication. God bless!
Jul 28th 2013 new
(quote) Steven-94269 said: Kristen,
The answer is yes I met someone on this site after a month we met in person. I drove 5 hours to meet her. She was very nice and pretty but there was no emotional attachment it is one thing to see a picture and talk on the phone but when you meet face to face and you have to talk and make eye contact you know if it is meant to be. So yes meet that person see how he reacts with you. For me I am able to open up on a phone but I am very shy and it shows when I meet face to face so that is something to get out in the open so that person does not feel put off.
Steven, I wonder if Skype might have made a difference in the communication between you and the woman? Then you would have had some experience of the other person's body language?
Jul 28th 2013 new
(quote) Kristen-878108 said: Never thought of it that way, but that is exactly their tactic!
So true!!! This is slightly off-topic, but years ago in college, there was a student body election. The Greek candidates (which it seems most are) were making the usual claims and promises about doing this and that about tuition, demanding this and that from the State, etc. etc... Their opponents (a couple of 'dormies' eyepopping countered by pointing out that their opponents platforms were based on things that were not the purview of the student body! They addressed the pricing and availability of books (the student body participated in ownership of the campus book store) the price of movies at the theater (part of the Student Union facility) and several other things... they won in a landslide. Since then I've noted that Presidential candidates often make claims and promises that are the responsibility of the Congress, and Congressional candidates (Reps and Senators) claiming Executive privileges... Dear Lord, PLEASE send us some honest candidates who will address and attend the duties of their aspired office and who EMBRACE, LOVE, and FEAR YOU!
Jul 28th 2013 new
My observations on Ms Perry's article;

I do not understand the correlation between the "story" that preceedes the article and the contents of the article , and I consider many statements in the aricle to be meaningless and confusing , such as "the word 'false' implies something untrue , but that's not always the cas." ---- ?????? ( This reminds me
of the Knights & Knaves logic puzzles.)

If Ms. Perry is to be believed , then I am learing for the first time I have a "dual" personality which is "True Self" and a "False Self" . Should I be elated or disturbed by knowing this?.

"We form our False Selves through experiences that develop our coping mechanisms". "Coping " is defined as facing and dealing with responsibilities , problems , and diffuculties.I've served in the military ,and all forms of military training , to a lesser or greater extent, is imposing difficult and stressful "experiences" in order to learn to "cope". For exemple ,you are given a hand-grenade and then ordered to "pull the pin" ; if you don't keep a firm grip on the grenade , it will explode and kill you.

"What one sees in the mirror is the "False Self"; really! ; never knew that!. I once dated a very elegant woman who was a former "Vouge" model , and her "standard" for a man was that he appear tall , trim , ann intelligent.; was she referring to my "False Self" which was also my "mirror" apprearance?.

What we ALL engage in , instinctively,vis-a vis other people , is " physiognomy" which is defined as " The face or countenance as an index of the character--- the art of determining the character from the form or feature of the body , esp, the face". If this is the "mirror image of a person , are we viewing the "False Self" of that person?.

Not the "exact" quotations but--- " When you are young , your features are a gift form God: when older , they are a reflection of your character"; " At age 50 , people get the face they deserve"

Jul 28th 2013 new
So much more meaningful to meet the reflection of people's character by looking into eyes and smiles. The false self lies in carefully (or not so carefully) crafted emails and texting. Face to face early on is important. I can see why Skype would be better than only phone or email.
Jul 28th 2013 new
Selma Hayek was only 3 feet 5 inches tall. wink
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