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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 29 new

Sad but true, I actually met a man in real life that I thought was the man of my dreams, but he turned out to be a toad. There were a lot of blanks, but I filled them in with my assumptions: I assumed he was conservative because we met at an academic activity; I assumed he was mature and responsible because of how he presented himself (suit and tie, clean-cut haircut, take-charge attitude, great leadership skills).

Then the bits of reality started to shine through: he seemed to like the party life, he made an off-hand remark about going to a stripper bar ...time passed, and I didn't hear from him, and wondered why, as there seemed to be sparks.

So I decided to look him up. Well, he was nothing like the ideal I had built up in my head. I found out he was living with a girl, he probably had other girls on the side, he had posted a horrible photo of himself with a stripper on a vacation that he took with his girlfriend, he appeared to be having inappropriate conversations, and it was all downhill from there. eyepopping

And all that time I spent wrapped up in waiting for him to call me and invite me to some sophisticated charity event or restaurant or whatever seemed like a total waste. This was definitely not the man who was going to marry me. He was no Prince Charming at all, and I was so very glad that I was not his girlfriend. In fact, I felt sorry for her. There is no substitute for getting to know someone as they are, and not how you dream them to be.

Jul 29 new
(quote) Angela-374523 said:

Sad but true, I actually met a man in real life that I thought was the man of my dreams, but he turned out to be a toad. There were a lot of blanks, but I filled them in with my assumptions: I assumed he was conservative because we met at an academic activity; I assumed he was mature and responsible because of how he presented himself (suit and tie, clean-cut haircut, take-charge attitude, great leadership skills).

Then the bits of reality started to shine through: he seemed to like the party life, he made an off-hand remark about going to a stripper bar ...time passed, and I didn't hear from him, and wondered why, as there seemed to be sparks.

So I decided to look him up. Well, he was nothing like the ideal I had built up in my head. I found out he was living with a girl, he probably had other girls on the side, he had posted a horrible photo of himself with a stripper on a vacation that he took with his girlfriend, he appeared to be having inappropriate conversations, and it was all downhill from there.

And all that time I spent wrapped up in waiting for him to call me and invite me to some sophisticated charity event or restaurant or whatever seemed like a total waste. This was definitely not the man who was going to marry me. He was no Prince Charming at all, and I was so very glad that I was not his girlfriend. In fact, I felt sorry for her. There is no substitute for getting to know someone as they are, and not how you dream them to be.

Seems to be a valid point. Men and stripper bars do not make for a good match.
Jul 29 new
(quote) Angela-374523 said:

Sad but true, I actually met a man in real life that I thought was the man of my dreams, but he turned out to be a toad. 

Thank you for sharing this story Angela. Glad you figured it out sooner than later.
Jul 29 new
Hohohohohoho!
Jul 30 new
Great question, Kristen:

The rhythm of online scenarios reminds me of well choreographed dances in which this partner grooves to the songs with few expectations. Expectations - usually predicated upon past experiences and created in the mind - lead to disappointment if not met.

I'm responsible for putting my best image forward during the initial online encounter. It's important to be pragmatic and respectful instead of imaginative. The latter prevents me from making the person into someone or something she isn't before that first date. I take my time moving from the online phase to the face-to-face one. It's important to establish a connection and the import of online safety makes it imperative to create trust.

The man or woman of our dreams concept becomes a reality when we discover the individual who augments and contributes to our happiness. I use the verb discover because a risky unfolding takes place when we agree to meet; it's the encounter that could lead to the dream that burns stronger than a thousand suns.

God bless you!

Nicholas






Jul 30 new
Hi Angela:

Excellent story that creates awareness among and for others. It also reinforces the sad duplicitous nature of another person. I value the honest transparency in your words and the lovely manner in which you share them. The part of you that decided to look him up could have been the little voice that paid big dividends. Thank you for your note; it reminds me to discern and be attentive.

Bless you,

Nicholas
Jul 30 new
This is interesting.
Jul 30 new

Reawakening to Love

The season of love is upon us.
The heart reawakens
I reclaim my birthright
and take a stand for my own self- worth
and my innate ability to love
and live in the embrace of love.

I have had trouble with love in the past.
I have been disappointed.
My heart has been hurt.
I was once lonely, angry, unhappy, sad, and worried.
I used to believe you cant find true, lasting, soulful love.
But I choose to heal this now.
I choose love and choose to find true love.
I make a new choice to reclaim the innocence of the heart
and reconnect to a deep and soulful love.

-Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Jul 30 new
www.examiner.com

Read about cognitive dissonance. You will get the picture.

Anthony Weiner is a good example.

Also the Zimmerman verdict outrage is another good example of how people, in their own minds will justify anything.

If we are hungry, and food is present, but we can not get the food, we will convince ourselves then, well, I am not really hungry, or well it does not look appetizing, etc.

Nowadays one would be hard pressed to say that the use of social media is the exception; I am more inclined to say that it is the norm. When we make the acquaintance of someone who does not utilize social media in some way shape or form, it is seen as unusual; or in some cases, it can be interpreted as a principled stand against technology replacing the more traditional forms of human interaction i.e.; face to face interaction(s).

Based on data from a poll taken in November 2012, 56% of people acknowledge having a profile set up in the realm of social media. Doing a deeper dive into the numbers of the two most popular social media havens, Facebook has 1.15 billion users, while Twitter has a paltry 500 million users.

The contention is that the use of social media goes hand in hand with the increasing lack of Cognitive dissonance among many users; the theory of Cognitive dissonance was developed by Dr. Leon Festinger in the 1950s. This theory suggests that we (human beings) harbor a desire to keep our attitudes and beliefs in check in an effort to avoid disharmony.

In a nutshell, Cognitive dissonance is that feeling of discomfort as a result of holding two conflicting beliefs, when this comes to pass something must change in order to eliminate the dissonance.

Being connected to one another via social media, Skype and the like is second nature for many of us. So, is it the contention that (no harm no foul) because there isnt that conventional form of face to face human connection in play, that it isnt real?

This is a theme that was cleverly touched on in the laminated Disney movie Wall-E, remember the people on the Axiom? They got everything that they needed with a mere touch of a button; they never had any desire for personal communication. Is this the slippery slope that we are headed down?

Jul 30 new
Very thoughtful response, Nicholas! Thank you!
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