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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 30th 2013 new
Maybe as long as he lands on both feet Lol

Jul 31st 2013 new
(quote) Thomas-984554 said: http://www.examiner.com/article/the-strange-case-of-anthony-weiner-social-media-and-cognitive-dissonance

Read about cognitive dissonance. You will get the picture.

Anthony Weiner is a good example.

Also the Zimmerman verdict outrage is another good example of how people, in their own minds will justify anything.

If we are hungry, and food is present, but we can not get the food, we will convince ourselves then, well, I am not really hungry, or well it does not look appetizing, etc.

Nowadays one would be hard pressed to say that the use of social media is the exception; I am more inclined to say that it is the norm. When we make the acquaintance of someone who does not utilize social media in some way shape or form, it is seen as unusual; or in some cases, it can be interpreted as a principled stand against technology replacing the more traditional forms of human interaction i.e.; face to face interaction(s).

Based on data from a poll taken in November 2012, 56% of people acknowledge having a profile set up in the realm of social media. Doing a deeper dive into the numbers of the two most popular social media havens, Facebook has 1.15 billion users, while Twitter has a paltry 500 million users.

The contention is that the use of social media goes hand in hand with the increasing lack of Cognitive dissonance among many users; the theory of Cognitive dissonance was developed by Dr. Leon Festinger in the 1950s. This theory suggests that we (human beings) harbor a desire to keep our attitudes and beliefs in check in an effort to avoid disharmony.

In a nutshell, Cognitive dissonance is that feeling of discomfort as a result of holding two conflicting beliefs, when this comes to pass something must change in order to eliminate the dissonance.

Being connected to one another via social media, Skype and the like is second nature for many of us. So, is it the contention that (no harm no foul) because there isnt that conventional form of face to face human connection in play, that it isnt real?

This is a theme that was cleverly touched on in the laminated Disney movie Wall-E, remember the people on the Axiom? They got everything that they needed with a mere touch of a button; they never had any desire for personal communication. Is this the slippery slope that we are headed down?

Interesting perspective Thomas! So if I understand what you are saying - perhaps as the use of social media increases, more people will be satisfied with an online relationship rather than actually meeting the person and that the relationship isn't "real" until the persons have met? Food for thought.
Jul 31st 2013 new
I must say that I have the opposite thing happen- where initially there was no spark--but with a few more dates things developed and the attraction grew, and I realized that the man though not perfect or "dream" man was pretty compatiable in more areas then the phone or profile would reveal.----It's important to throw away the list if you have one, and live in real time---get to that F2F so the person is truly 3D and tangible---must take it off line and I agree that timing is everything--but sooner is better than later so that you are not all invested and living in la la land.

So come on lets get those F2F rolling---what if every one paid forward a date?? And here in the Tristate we have the Houston St event in NYC AND the Philly singles event---I pray that there will be a good showing--so people can make there experience more real while mixing and mingling :) I found making friends of the same sex here really does invite a more interesting perspective to share the experience with as well---wing women & wing men can keep things grounded as well as more interesting----Why not make some friends to go out with and meet others? Just my 2 cents.

St Raphael, pray for us!
Lisa
Jul 31st 2013 new
I think we are already there.........................I have had just about everything possible happen to me, personally.

I could write a book if I really wanted to expound.

I think we really need more f2f; this is what I try to do, my approach.

I use the system CM to filter, scan, review and choose, talk, get to know somewhat, (depends) then talk in person. This is best overall.

Then, depending on how it goes verbally, and consistently, a meeting is almost always due. By then, you should have a good idea of how dependable the person is, articulate, some level of honesty. But then again, it can always be a total flop in person.

I have only met (I have been a member for 1 month) two people. One was completely misleading about her looks, the other was very attractive and wanted to see me again, but she never returned calls or texts.

I think many, many women are still hung up or just wanting attention in their void of being divorced. I dont have time for emotional support. I get that from Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

I find most exaggerate or exacerbate their profile. No one is perfect, but I do think many hold out for that perfect person. Only God is all perfect. You never know, I like meeting people, you can always just be friends and you may make a friend forever................:))

Statistically, out of every 10 I respond to, only about 1.5 responds in varied form and in varied form from my initial contact.

For me, there are just NO available practicing Catholics in my area. Many, many divorced, but to the church, they are still married and most of these are very dishonest about their annulment or dont even think its necessary.

For me its about Sin. I dont want to contribute. I want to save my soul...................

Now I am not pounding on or about women, this is MY perspective and I am sure many women go through the same thing.

For a man, though it is different because the man is the aggressor naturally, so we have to be careful and walk the fine line of what is too soon to meet in person and what is too late to ask....................

Kristen, do you have any suggestions at all for me............??????:) rolling eyes
Jul 31st 2013 new
I agree the F2F is important, simply conversation on CM cannot two people to honestly get to know another. Words can say a lot about someone, but without actually meeting in person how can one tell if there are sparks or if their can be the potential for a real and true relationship.
Jul 31st 2013 new
There is no man or woman of any dreams except God. Everyone has faults some being worse than others. I've come to the conclusion if you don't like what you see don't get involved with them because you can't expect them to ever change. However, if you accept them you have to accept those faults as well. I guess one must decide if those faults are going to be compatible with God's teachings
Jul 31st 2013 new
I have been corresponding numerous times with a gentlemanThere seems to be a little magic there.We have not met face to face.He lives in Canada &I in NYS. I am older now & hopefully wiser; but we all dream
I hope that I won't be disappointed when we meet face to face & visa versa.Life is too short to be unhappy
My daughter met her Husband on a dating site .It was a good match. When I heard what she had done I was so upset with her--Well guess what! See who is here now!

God help me!
Aug 1st 2013 new
(quote) Jim-397948 said: Reawakening to Love

The season of love is upon us.
The heart reawakens
I reclaim my birthright
and take a stand for my own self- worth
and my innate ability to love
and live in the embrace of love.

I have had trouble with love in the past.
I have been disappointed.
My heart has been hurt.
I was once lonely, angry, unhappy, sad, and worried.
I used to believe you cant find true, lasting, soulful love.
But I choose to heal this now.
I choose love and choose to find true love.
I make a new choice to reclaim the innocence of the heart
and reconnect to a deep and soulful love.

-Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Jim,
I know you wrote that for me.... lovestruck!
But I can't fly out there til Friday am! lovestruck!

Really though, it IS a decision to heal and grow beyond the anger, fears, and mistrust.
Only then can we choose to love freely and deeply,
knowing that it is a new plunge into a soulful relationship with another and our God. You get a Gold Star!




Aug 1st 2013 new
Wow everyone great post on the topic. I love and totally agree with everyone. I love reading all the different responses people write. Everyone has their own point of view, but they are all wonderful to hear. Kathy I agree with your response that we should truly leave it to God, for he truly has a way of working miracles and will always lead us the right way.
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